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-Ang

Overly cheery U of M girl on crowded bus: (loudly to friend) Soooo, I had a colonoscopy over break.

16 Bus
Overheard by I see you chose not to sit over the wheel.

Girl student: Her family is SO weird.
Guy student: Really, how so?
Girl student: Her dad, like, goes in her backyard and catches squirrels.
Guy student: (long pause) What does he do with them?
Girl student: …Raises them?

Minneapolis, Coffman Starbucks
Overheard by A.

Overweight woman in wheelchair, holding a chihuahua and a bottle of cheap whiskey, yelling at her disgruntled husband: Hey, go get me some diet coke, I need a mixer.

Uptown McDonalds
Overheard by don’t we all.

Professor 2 years older than god: Who’s to say Brave New World is a dystopia?  I mean, they just did drugs and had sex all day. That sounds like a utopia if you ask me.

U of M seminar
Overheard by unsettled.

Drunk girl in bathroom: Why doesn’t he love me?  I just want him to love me like I love him.  IS IT REALLY THAT HARD TO LOVE ME?

Northfield, Carleton
Overheard by It just might be.

Guy #1: Yeah, getting crabs would suck.
Guy #2: Totally. But AIDS would suck worse. There’s no shampoo for AIDS.

Minneapolis, North Loop Apartment
Overheard by Too soon? I think so…

Annoying freshman girl: So, I saw this big biker guy the other day. His shirt was a-flappin’ in the breeze, and he had a tramp stamp!

Robbinsdale, Cooper High School math
Overheard by That was totally me.

Kid who obviously isn’t 18: I wish i could live with my uncle. He would let me smoke, let me drink, even let me have hookers over.

Wayzata High School
Overheard by Hilarious.

Unknown Man, responding to a sneeze from an apartment: Man, n**** you got a cold or somethin? Achoo achoo mothaf***a, why don’t you get a tissue or something, punk?

Minneapolis, Around Stevens Square, 2nd Ave
Overheard by Suture.

Man walking up to the register at the dollar tree holding a pair of headphones: How much are these?
Cashier: A dollar.

Burnsville, The Dollar tree
Overheard by But for you…$1.75.

Guy: Yeah, he’s really a big softy though. He’s like an M&M on a hot day; once you crack that shell he just melts all over the f–king place.

Willey Hall, Psychology 1001 Lecture
Overheard by melts in your heart, not in your hands…

Man: I just came back from my financial adviser and it’s a good thing these windows don’t open.

Minneapolis, Office Building, 8th Floor
Overheard by Coco.

Girl: My friends are always saying I need to make a Facebook page and I’m like, “Why? I talk to you A-holes enough already!”

Edina, Fuddruckers
Overheard by sleeping on the job.

Old high school friend:  What’s your senior memory?
Barista: Senior memories?  My senior memory was smoking crack.

Minneapolis, An anonymous Uptown cafe
Overheard by ORLY.

Slighlty inebriated college girl: I don’t see what’s wrong with letting people off the bus to piss. I was like, “Piss out the flipping window!”

Dinkytown, outside McDonald’s
Overheard by Good thing she got off the bus…