Boss: Fifteen poets in one room? That WOULD be insufferable!

University of Minnesota
Overheard by workin’ hard.

50 yr old meathead I share a cubicle with (on the phone): I was so wasted, and was driving this girl home from the bar and we almost got into an accident.  That would be bad. (pause) Not only would we both get injured, but I would for sure get a DUI!

Maple Grove, my cubicle
Overheard by annoyed co-worker.

Man, to bundled up girl who sat down 10 minutes ago: Whoa whoa whoa, you a lady?  I mean, when you sat down, I totally thought you were a man.  I can see you a lady now, but I could’ve sworn…
Girl: Uhmmm yeah, thanks.

Bus 16

Drunk girl: So, I wrote a folk song about Christopher Reeves; post paralysis, pre death.  So, it’s not quite as depressing.  Wanna hear it?

University of Minnesota
Overheard by uhhh YES.

Middle aged drunk woman to tween in elevator PACKED full of people: So, what are you doing here?
Tween: We’re here for Faith on Fire, a national Christian youth convention.
Drunk woman to friend: Ohhhh Noelle! Aren’t you here for the Buddhist monk convention? (Asians in back grimace)
Tween: I appreciate your humor, lady.  (immediately gets off elevator)
Drunk woman:  So, do you think my Sam’s Club card will get us into the Penthouse Suite?

Minneapolis, Downtown ritzy hotel
Overheard by I’m drunk now, so this may be funnier to me.

Girl #1: Soooooo, how did staying at his place go?
Girl #2: Well… (smiles)
Girl #1: You opened the muffin shop, didn’t you?
Girl #2: Yeah, well, only for a night.
Girl #1: Seriously? I thought we said that was a bad idea.
Girl #2: And a morning.  Sorry.

U of M

Drunk Asian kid entering kitchen at party: I just went to use the bathroom, but there was some weird Asian girl waiting outside the door.
Sober, bitter girl: Are you sure it wasn’t just a mirror?

University of Minnesota
Overheard by Bitter girl’s roommate.

Drunk Indian girl: I wanna Sprite!
Girl’s boyfriend: I’d like a Sprite too, please.
Drunk girl: NO ICE! Indian girl no like the ice!

Minneapolis, Arby’s
Overheard by Irish girl do like the ice.