Girl #1: How was your cousin’s wedding?
Girl #2: Oh my god, it was the fanciest wedding I’ve ever been to. Like, they had an ice sculpture and everything.

Plymouth, Wayzata High School
Overheard by and we all know ‘ice sculpture’ is synonymous for ‘fancy’.

College boy: I feel really awkward shopping here now, ’cause they’ve got all the Domo-kun posters up.
College girl: Domo-kun? Oh, that.
College boy: You know that picture of him and the kittens?  Every time I come in here, it’s like “Don’t masturbate!”
College girl: Every time you shop at Target, God kills a kitten!

Minneapolis, Lake Street Target

Office Building Tenant: Oh, and I just wanted to let you know there was a fire in the dumpster last week.  I looked for the security guard in the building, but couldn’t find him.  I didn’t know who else to notify, so I just went home.

Minneapolis, Campus Office Building
Overheard by Uh… how about 911?

Boy, to girl behind him: Yeah, he totally told everyone he has herpes.

Hopkins High School
Overheard by wow… just wow.

Teacher: Do you have to go potty?
2-year-old girl: I don’t go potty anymore; I listen to music.

Wayzata, Community Church

Geeky guy: It takes me, like, 2 hours to poop!

Minnetonka, Best Buy
Overheard by Has enough fiber in her diet.

Woman #1: Sarah Palin is the most anti-woman woman I’ve ever seen.
Woman #2: Yeah, I know. She just needs to turn in her uterus.

Saint Paul, Coffeeshop

Highschooler #1: Do you know where you’re applying for college?
Highschooler #2: Yeah, I’m thinking of just going somewhere local, like the U.
Highschooler #1: Oh yeah? What for?
Highschooler #2, completely serious: Rocket Science. You know, the stuff NASA does.
Highschooler #3: (pause) You do know that Rocket Science isn’t a real major, right?
Highschooler #2: BULLSHIT!

Minneapolis, Leaning Tower
Overheard by Not a Rocket Scientist.

Young man on cell phone: If you think negatively, that just makes it worse.  It’s like a feedback loop, do you realise that?

U of M campus
Overheard by Positive thinking.

Girl #1, sitting on couch to her friend: I hate it when people sit on chairs that are facing me. It’s irritating.
Girl #2: Yeah, I hate it too. There are other places they can sit.

St Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by girl sitting on chair facing you.

Hip (legal?) guy to girl: 18 years of easy access still going strong.

Minneapolis, Cedar/Riverside
Overheard by aeh.

Boy on hay ride who has arranged a small pumpkin and a bag of apples to rest beside him: Hey mom, check it out! I got a little pumpkin and apple garden! Oh, yeah.

Hastings, Afton Apple Orchard
Overheard by sxoidmal.

Co-Worker #1: Me and Keith spend about 30 bucks a week on that.
Co-Worker #2: You mean Keith and I.
Co-Worker #1: Whatever, I don’t need to speak American.

St Peter, PJs Pizza
Overheard by D.R.B.

5 yr old boy at Victoria’s Secret: I don’t like it here.
Mom: But just look at all the friendly people.

Burnsville Center
Overheard by A “friendly” person.

Guy #1: Oh, shit, you don’t want to go to Jamaica.
Guy #2: Why not?
Guy #1: Uhh… fucking Jamaicans everywhere.

MOA parking lot
Overheard by cool runnings.

Drunk guy: I would eat a human in a heart beat. I would eat a human’s heart beat.

Minneapolis, 26th & Blaisdell
Overheard by Roscoe the Beagle.

Confused kid: Wait, I don’t know if I’m circumsized or not.
Friend: Well, what do you mean?
Confused kid: Well, I dunno, could I have been circumsized and it grew back? Because I feel like that’s what it looks like.
Friend: I dunno. Don’t f***ing ask me, go Google that s**t.

Plymouth, Wayzata High School
Overheard by oh poor kid.

Kid who feels the need to constantly talk: I rather smoke pot. I dunno, alchohol is too much for me to handle. A beer is about as strong as I can go, even that’s pushing it.
Equally incompetent friend: Yeah, dude, I love bud.

Plymouth, Wayzata high school first floor
Overheard by and remind me why you bother to speak?

Teen girl during a frenzied moment: Sometimes I just want to throw a ninja star.

Plymouth, Wayzata High School
Overheard by but most of the time you don’t?

A teenager talking about Sarah Palin: She’s really hot for, like, an old lady.

Saint Paul, CVS on Grand
Overheard by Nate.