College girl, on her 5th or 6th gin and tonic: My New Year’s resolution is to not blackout anymore.
Friend: Oh, so, like, you’re going to drink less?
College girl: Oh my God, NO, I’m still going to drink the same. I’m just not going to blackout anymore! At least not in public.

Minneapolis, Library Bar
Overheard by honey that’s not how it works.