Nobody Thinks It’s Cute When I Do That
7
Girl: I just LOVE the squirrels in this city! They always run off with slices of pizza and 3 Musketeers bars.
Friend: I know! They’re just so cute!
U of MN, East Bank
Overheard by why haven’t i seen any of those super squirrels?








the squirrels there run a couple feet, fall over, get back up, and run into a tree!
Seriously, though, these squirrels do exist. I saw one running around with an entire slice of bread in its mouth, and the other day one had a crumpled up flier in its jaws. It’s really kind of frightening. I also saw one yesterday that was trying to hump another squirrel that kept trying to run away. Good times at the U.
I think it was sometime last year that I was out back at Saint Sabrinas and watched a squirrel climb a telephone pole with a whole bagel in its mouth. It paused on one of the foothold brackets to chew and eye us suspiciously.
whilst i was out smoking one morning a squirrel ran through my backyard with a whole cooked chicken breast in its mouth. still not certain how to feel about that.
If you haven’t seen these squirrels, you haven’t been to the U! I remember seeing one with a nearly empty Caribou bag. The wind picked it up and it acted kind of like a sail. The squirrel struggled. Funny stuff.
“…chicken breast in its mouth. still not certain how to feel about that”
Jealous?
“Jealous?”
yummmm. garbage chicken.