Woman on the phone: No, it’s just a reserve reservation.

Minneapolis, Punch Pizza
Overheard by Free Pizza!

Ham Radio Enthusiast #1: Hey, what’s Thurgood Marshall up to these days, anyway?
Ham Radio Enthusiast #2: Well, he’s dead.
Ham Radio Enthusiast #1: Really? Oh, wait, that’s not who I’m thinking of! I meant, what’s his name, that racist guy?
Ham Radio Enthusiast #2: Strom Thurmond?
Ham Radio Enthusiast #1: Yeah! What’s he up to?
Ham Radio Enthusiast #2: Well, he’s dead, too.

Minneapolis, Burger Jones
Overheard by An Invisible Fiend.

Chipper cashier: Oh, I like cats. Do you have a kitty?
Crusty old man with large bag of cat food: Yeah. 39 of them.

Maple Grove, Super Target
Overheard by No matter how hard Maple Grove tries to be Edina or Eden Prairie…

Middle aged woman #1: I mean, the poor girl has three uteruses, and she’s from India and-
Middle aged woman #2: Does that mean she can have three babies at the same time??

Bloomington, Hotel
Overheard by Your Confused Front Desk Agent.

Girl in her early 20s, to boyfriend: Um, it says I’m psychic for the next three weeks.

Saint Paul, Costellos
Overheard by Hmmm.

College Kid: Not sure what we were thinking, but you can’t substitute bananas for eggs.

Minneapolis, Target
Overheard by Old Timer.

Pre-teen girl, very loudly to friend: You did WHAT to WHOSE mother for HOW many Skittles?!?!

Minneapolis, bus
Overheard by Are you sure it wasn’t M&Ms?

Bro promoting Barfly: Every night I go home, make myself a chicken breast, and hit my pillow. Two breasts a day keeps a guy healthy, am I right?

Minneapolis, Hennepin & 5th bus stop
Overheard by Burrhead.

Guy #1: Dude, you can’t make out with your sister!
Guy #2: Even if she’s, like, really hot?
Guy #1: Rough, dude.

Minnetonka High School
Overheard by glad we’re not related.

Guy wearing T-mobile shirt: Apparently people are starting to fight about what atheist group is better. That’s ridiculous. Nobody fights about what religious group is better.

Minnetonka, T-mobile kiosk in Ridgedale Mall
Overheard by an atheist.

College girl in line for burrito toppings: GOD, I JUST LOVE PROTEIN!!!

Minneapolis, Augsburg College Cafeteria
Overheard by Were you refering to sour cream or salsa?

Kid having breakfast with his family: We went to this great place called the White Castle!

Minneapolis, Uptown Bruegger’s
Overheard by Kumar.

Angry, crazy man: I know what he’s tryin’ to do. He’s advertising my pocket! And trying to get in my pocket! But I ain’t one of his gay boys, know what I’m sayin’?

Minneapolis, 4 bus, southbound on Hennepin Ave
Overheard by sxoidmal.

Boyfriend to his Polish girlfriend, arguing about buying food for her visiting relatives: They should eat American; If I went to Poland I would expect to eat Polish!

Minneapolis, apartment building
Overheard by someone who doesn’t want to hear.

Indian man on bluetooth: She wants you to meet her mother with boobs. B-O-B-S.

Minneapolis, City Center skyway, next to 33 South Sixth
Overheard by Wait, we’re talking about her hair?

College student talking about his roommate: I keep trying to convince him to study but he keeps eating all the pies I buy.

Minneapolis, a level of the library
Overheard by Ben.

8-year-old-ish child during a screening of Percy Jackson: They get to go to Vegas?! I want to go to Vegas! They have all the good stores. In Hannah Montana they had the best shoes!

St. Paul, Highland Park Mann theater
Overheard by Chalalalalala.

Old man to old lady: You know, back then two dollar bills were for prostitutes.

Bloomington, Red Lobster
Overheard by i had no idea.

Blonde Cheerleader: I mean, like, no one even goes to junior prom. Junior prom is like… daycare.

Minnetonka, Minnetonka High School

Redneck lady in the next department, talking about My Big Fat Redneck Wedding: I cried. I actually cried at that episode. She got to get married at the racetrack, and I don’t. It’s not fair.

Minneapolis, Qwest
Overheard by Your Mom’s Best Friend.