Overheard in Minneapolis » all

Prepare For The Flavor Explosion

oim — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 01:39:09 +0000

One beefy gym-rat to another: Have you ever had tuna salad? Dude, you should totally come over the next time my mom makes tuna salad.

Bloomington, Lifetime Fitness
Overheard by KD.

You’ll Need That Kind Of Creative Thinking

oim — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 01:35:39 +0000

University of St. Thomas girl on her cell phone: …And my mom was trying to convience me to apply for a job at Cub Foods, and I was like ‘Ughh, no!’ I mean, seriously, I would rather, like, eat my own toenails than work at Cub Foods.

Saint Paul, University of St. Thomas
Overheard by Unemployment at 9%.

Just Roll With It

oim — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 00:00:54 +0000

Lucky Co-Worker: I’m graduating soon and I’ve already got an internship.
Other Co-Worker: Good for you, man. What are you gonna do?
Lucky Co-Worker: I’m going into education, probably going to be working with autistic kids.
Other Co-Worker: Yeah? That’s cool! What do they draw?

Mankato, Gary’s Pizza
Overheard by D.R.B.

Or For Anyone Within Earshot Of This Story

oim — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 02:49:27 +0000

Cashier: I love February. My birthday, Valentine’s Day…
Customer: It’s a great month for you.
Cashier: Sure is. It wasn’t a great month for Whitney Houston, though.

St Paul, Target
Overheard by smoothd.

It Was Worth A Shot

oim — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 00:05:58 +0000

Passenger, while looking confused at the check-in kiosk: Ma’am, can you give me a hand with this?
Agent, without skipping a beat: I’ll hold your hand, but I won’t go all the way with you.

Minneapolis-St. Paul Int’l Airport- Terminal 1, US Airways ticket counter
Overheard by Listening4Laughs.

We Should Hire Another Person

oim — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 19:59:15 +0000

Marketing Guy: We have to ship 150,000 units on Friday or else.
Marketing Girl: Well, how many did we ship last year on Black Friday?
Marketing Guy, pulls up report: …Seven.

Chanhassen, Office
Overheard by pratt.

Then The Answer Is Never

oim — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 19:57:06 +0000

Teen in Back: Hey, driver, when is the Lowry Bridge going to open?
Driver: Next spring.
Teen in Back: Aren’t we not supposed to be alive by then?

Minneapolis, 32 to Robbinsdale
Overheard by aeh.

We All Believe In Something

oim — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 18:25:51 +0000

Bootylicious Girl #1: Girl, I can’t believe you did that with him. You nasty.
Bootylicious Girl #2: No, girl! I went to church twice last weekend, so it don’t count.
Bootylicious Girl #1: Oh, well you didn’t say that. Still, that’s nasty.
Bootylicious Girl #2: Ya, but God forgives me.

Minneapolis, Downtown Target
Overheard by Do The Wiggle.

Raising Money For College Is Hard

oim — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 17:24:51 +0000

Woman in front to driver: My sister is 40 and has 7 grandkids. One time I was over and she was teaching the 3 year old how to use that pole.

Minneapolis, 32 to Rosedale Center
Overheard by aeh.

It’s Clumsy But It Works

oim — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 16:24:31 +0000

Tan teenage boy to tan female friend: My mom wants me to hang out with you more.
Tan teenage girl: Why?
Tan teenage boy: Because you’re Mexican.

Maplewood, Mounds Park Academy
Overheard by I want to hang out with you because I’m Asian!

Isn’t That Enough?

oim — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 23:00:55 +0000

3 year old boy, as he almost falls: Oh, Jesus.
Nanny: Do you know who Jesus is?
3 year old boy: Yes, of course.
Nanny: What does he do?
3 year old boy: He delivers us from evil. Duh.
Nanny: What else does Jesus do?
3 year old boy: I have no idea!

Shoreview, Park
Overheard by just another nanny.

The Bus Is A Good Place To Find All Three

oim — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 22:33:36 +0000

Man, in awkward conversation with woman about why he is on the bus: There’s nothing to do in Mound but drink. Do you drink?
Woman: No, I’ve never been much of a drinker. How much do you drink?
Man: Every day.
Woman: What do you drink?
Man: Whiskey.
Woman: Does your brother drink too?
Man: No, he does weed.
Woman: Oh, I hate weed. If anything, I like oxycodone.

On the border of Minnetonka and Wayzata, 675 Bus to Mound (aka, Most of Us Need Drugs)
Overheard by Spoonbridge.

We’re Here To Run Pants Out Of Town

oim — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 00:20:21 +0000

Woman at party, to friend: We’re both wearing dresses. Obviously, we’re in a posse.

Columbia Heights, house party
Overheard by sxoidmal.

I Drink To Forget My Drug Addiction

oim — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 00:07:03 +0000

Tattooed male hipster: So, I’ve decided to stop doing X all the time, ’cause basically all my life’s experiences I’ve been on X and I want to start experiencing things, you know?
Hipster gal pal: Yeah, I get ya. So, how’s it going?
Tattooed male hipster: Well, the first thing I did was go to Happy Hour and just drink, and it actually went really well.

Minneapolis, The Bad Waitress
Overheard by Thats one way to get a new lease on life.

Seriously Out Of Context Of The Day

oim — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 22:04:05 +0000

Woman yelling to man down the hall: Hey, I’ve already primed the pump with that guy, so he should go real easy.

Bloomington, Office Building Resembling a Sand Crawler
Overheard by Plumbing I Don’t Want to Know About.

It’s On A Good Plan, Too

oim — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 21:55:24 +0000

Man in bright orange suit: My phone doesn’t do text messages, but I’ve got the original text message… the Bible!

Minneapolis, Back of 21 bus on Lake St.

I Brought My Own Bag

oim — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 19:40:59 +0000

Checkout Clerk: Hi! Would you like your face wrapped in plastic?

Minneapolis, Whole Foods on Excelsior
Overheard by sxoidmal.

Define Successful

oim — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 19:38:40 +0000

60-something woman telling her friend about the engagement of a younger couple: I think this will be a very successful first marriage.

Minneapolis, Downtown restaurant at lunch
Overheard by Jerod.

And Now A Broken Leg Of Lamb

oim — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 21:55:22 +0000

20something Girl #1: I feel more tender right now than I ever have before. I feel just like the tenderest little leg of lamb.
20something Girl #2: Ha ha, that’s funny.

Minneapolis, Midtown Greenway
Overheard by A. Johnson.

Ginger Profiling

oim — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 22:42:56 +0000

Guy #1: I think we’ve met before.
Guy #2: No, I’m pretty sure we haven’t.
Guy #1: Oh, okay. (Walks away)
Guy #2, to girlfriend: I think it’s the ginger, freckle-face thing. Once you’ve seen one, you think you’ve seen us all.

Uptown Minneapolis, House Party
Overheard by a unique-looking brunette.