Overheard in Minneapolis

That’ll Come Back To Bite Her

oim — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 01:10:26 +0000

Woman on cell phone with adorable 3 yr old girl: After dragging her up four flights of stairs and this whole fucking ordeal and they’re not even fucking open. (pause) On the bright side my cell phone works here so that made me happy for about two seconds and now I’m fucking pissed again.

NE Minneapolis, Icebox gallery in NKB
Overheard by Suite 286- for todays vocabulary lesson, the f word.

It’s Working For Charo

oim — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 01:06:00 +0000

Manly college guy, completely serious to his friends: I just like to dance my way through life.

St. Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by a.lil.

Larry Craig’s Other Bathroom Pastime

oim — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 00:45:51 +0000

Officer, to sleeping guy in bathroom stall: Hey, are you okay?
Drunk guy: Yep, I’m cool.
Officer: You need to come out of there.
Drunk guy: Hold on, I’m playing poker with all my buddies in here. They suck at it!

MSP Airport
Overheard by Luckily I didn’t use that stall.

Cancel My Order Of Strawberry Pancakes

oim — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 05:18:55 +0000

Club going girl to her friends: Gross, I have period stain.

Burnsville, Perkins
Overheard by questioning my sexuality for the first time ever.

Saturday In St Cloud

oim — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 05:17:18 +0000

College guy: You can’t keep it in your pants, so why keep it in the species?

St. Cloud, Wendy’s
Overheard by a.lil.

You Laughed

oim — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 05:04:18 +0000

College girl #1: I can’t say ‘Helen Keller’ very well.
College girl #2: Neither could she.

St. Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by a.lil.

A Good Argument For Shopping Alone

oim — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 04:54:58 +0000

Mom of bratty girl: Don’t look, I’m buying you a gift.
Bratty girl (after looking): Mom, God, I don’t even want that!

Mall of America
Overheard by a victim of black friday sales.

It Might Be Time For A Nap

oim — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 04:52:49 +0000

20 something woman: What is 30% off $9.99?
Friend: Uhmm, I don’t know. God, these sales are just too confusing.

Mall of America
Overheard by maybe No Child Left Behind is a good idea.

Or Wasn’t Referring To A Full Month Before Christmas

oim — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 04:40:16 +0000

Bitter salesgirl, muttering while a song plays “Christmas is the best time of the year…” on Black Friday: Whoever wrote this song never worked retail.

Edina, Southdale Macy’s
Overheard by i wouldnt have christmas cheer in your position either!

I Don’t Think I Believe Grandma

oim — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 22:31:45 +0000

Young boy at HS football championship game: Grandma brought her knife to the game, but it’s only to cut pizza.

Minneapolis, Metrodome
Overheard by Wondering what she does with a gun.

She Broke The Seal Too Early

oim — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 22:29:12 +0000

Drunk girl: I’m so sick of going to the bathroom.

Minneapolis, The Local
Overheard by …tragic.

You’re Going To Have To Settle For The Real Thing

oim — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 22:28:19 +0000

Barista at a coffee shop: Can I help you, sir?
Man in his mid to late fifties: Ahh, yes. Do you have, ahh, something like coffee?

St. Paul, White Rock coffee shop
Overheard by the man with the mohawk.

Not If You Stick To The Trusted Sites

oim — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 22:22:03 +0000

Yuppie man: It’s a Mac. You can’t get a virus on a Mac.
Yuppie woman: Even with all the porn you watch?

Minneapolis, Outside The Bryant-Lake Bowl
Overheard by Safe Sex Has Gotten So Complicated!

The Judge Would Totally Understand

oim — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 22:19:12 +0000

Girl leaving Target: Hurry up, I just stole the Diet Coke.
Friend: What?! Why?
Girl: I’m a college kid. I’m supposed to steal things.

St. Paul, Target
Overheard by I guess I’m not a typical college kid.

Those Pews Are Pretty Comfortable

oim — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 22:01:15 +0000

College student #1: So, I was, like, so sloshed, dude and no one in the car knew where I lived. So, they dropped me off at the chapel on campus!
College student #2: So, you walked home from there?
College student #1: No, I passed out inside and the priest woke me up the next morning.

St. Paul, St. Thomas
Overheard by Guess he should have stayed for Mass.

Keep Going

oim — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 21:42:37 +0000

Nervous tattooed boy: I mean, your face is really really beautiful though.
Bored pretty girl, nodding: Yeah, that’s true.

Minneapolis, Nine Inch Nails concert
Overheard by invisiblepilot.

Please? It’s Scary In There

oim — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 02:16:21 +0000

Guy #1: Dude, come with me to the b-room.
Guy #2: But I don’t have to go.
Guy #1: Dude, you always gotta go.

Spring Lake Park Highschool
Overheard by That emo chick.

Would You Like To Come Back Here And Scoop It Yourself?

oim — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 02:06:01 +0000

Woman ordering stuffing: I want that container, that one in the middle, yep.
Woman serving stuffing: Do you want this whole thing full?
Woman ordering stuffing: Oh god, no. I want a little more than a half. (pause) But a little less than a third. Not too much.

Minneapolis, Surdyk’s
Overheard by oh, that much.

It’s Probably Safe

oim — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 02:02:30 +0000

Coworker: Does anyone know where I got this Pop Tart?

Minneapolis, Next office cubicle row over
Overheard by No, but if it’s Brown Sugar flavored I’ll buy it from you for 20 cents.

Will You Settle For Cheetos, Turtle Pie And A Twizzler Instead?

oim — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 03:49:04 +0000

20-something stoned guy: I wasn’t kidding earlier, I’m blazed.
Other guy: Really? Where’d you get blazed?
20-something stoned guy: At work.
Other guy: Oh, was that after you got fired?
20-something stoned guy: Uh… I really want some pizza.

St. Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by a.lil.