Archive for January, 2009
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Well, The Cable Bill Has Gone Up
Whore in a house: So, I sucked the guy’s dick for $50, and when I brought the money outside to Andres, he told me to go back inside and get $25 more.
Minneapolis, 30th and Jame Ave N
Overheard by LJM. -
Is There A Charge?
Teenage Dancer#1: Are you wearing underwear today?
Teenage Dancer#2: No, and people always ask me, “Why don’t you change in the stalls?” And I’m like, “Do you want to see my vagina?!”Golden Valley, Perpich Bathroom
Overheard by No, not really… -
Which One?
Black guy to his two friends: Remember that bowlegged whore I told you guys about?
Minneapolis, Franklin and Lyndale
Overheard by I bet she’s great in the saddle. -
If Only All Of Our Problems Were So Easy
Hipster girl: All of my guy friends want to stick their penis in me! I mean, it’s flattering, but it gets old!
Minneapolis, Club Jager
Overheard by Keeping his penis to himself. -
Those Are Not The Same
Coworker #1: 15 cookies? They’re charging that much for 15 cookies?
Coworker #2: It’s for charity!
Coworker #1: Charity? Why don’t they just come and rape me?St. Paul, The Office
Overheard by …I don’t think Girl Scouts do that -
Thanks To Those Pills I Found On The Sidewalk
20-something girl: Yeah, so if anything was living in my uterus, it’s definitely dead now.
Girlfriends: Oh good, that’s good.Minneapolis, streetcorner in Cedar-Riverside
Overheard by Can I buy you a drink? -
You Wait Until Now To Address This?
Bearded man to girl he was with: What is up with you and sticking your finger in my fucking asshole?
Minneapolis, Outside King & I Thai
Overheard by Disturbed Valet. -
You Don’t Know?
Coworker: One of my girlfriend’s new favorite things to do is just sit there and tug on this. I’m like, “What are you doing?”
Eden Prairie, Cube-land
Overheard by The most action he’s gotten in a long time… -
Sounds Like She Should Tip The Client
Bartender to stripper who is getting a backrub from a client: I know that look on your face. You better clean off that seat when you stand up!
Minneapolis, Skyway Lounge
Overheard by You just made me gayer. -
That’s A No For Date #2?
Young black man: You’s got a nasty pussy!
Young black woman: Nah, man. This shit is clean!
Young black man: You’s got a infection. A INFECTION!
Young black woman: Nah, my pussy’s tighter than a niggah’s ass!
Young black man: (to passerby) Don’t tap that ass! That pussy’s got the chlamydia!North Minneapolis
Overheard by Thanks for that useless bit of information… -
Don’t Shelter Your Children Too Much
Woman talking about Jesus: I want him inside of me; I want to be filled with his love.
Minneapolis, Church on Lyndale
Overheard by That’s what she said. -
I Am Not Even Breaking Out Wikipedia For This
Minnesota Gangsta: Man, that shit was tighter than fish pussy.
Minneapolis, Hennepin Ave
Overheard by just moved here. -
It’s Such A Shame Because Teenage Boys Are Really Good At That
Girl #1: You know what I miss? Getting fingered.
Girl #2: I know! Guys NEVER finger me anymore!Minneapolis, South High School
Overheard by The romance is gone. -
We Can Revisit This When I Find Someone With Nice Skin
Drunk guy (talking to crying woman): Hey baby, you know I love you! She had pimples all over her ass anyway.
Minneapolis, Ramp A
Overheard by How romantic. -
Free Promotion
Creepy old guy: How long have you been listening to this band?
Annoyed sounding drunk girl: Since I was fucking the guitarist.Minneapolis, Spring Street Tavern / NxNE Outdoor Music Festival
Overheard by i prefer the sax player myself. -
If He Only Knew She Did Too
Guy talking to his girlfriend: You don’t understand! I like fucking other bitches!
Minneapolis, Maryland Ave
Overheard by just walking by! -
Isn’t It The Other Way Around?
Barista: What size are you getting today?
Flaming Regular: Depends on how the evening goes.Minneapolis, Riverside Starbucks
Overheard by Mooshki. -
That’s How You Get Additional Fines Added To Your Ticket
Man to the Hearing Office Receptionist: I want to contest this ticket. (as receptionist takes his info) We can make love & I’d eat your pussy up.
Minneapolis, Hennepin County Gov’t Center, Hearing Office
Overheard by So that’s how you get out of a ticket? -
And Probably Not A High Class Strip Club
Hair stylist talking to client about esthetician: It’s okay. She’s seen more pussy than the inside of a strip club!
Minneapolis Salon
Overheard by jenc17. -
Sadly, It’s A Lucrative Market
Guy: He’s gonna make clothes for dogs now! He’s gonna make clothes for motherfucking tiny little dogs!
Girl: Shit, motherfucker is crazy!Minneapolis, Midtown Global Market
Overheard by I just want to get in to work…
