Archive for January, 2009
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That Might Be Cold, Too
Pedestrian: Hey, want some pizza?
Homeless guy: Sure!
Pedestrian: It’s cold, but it’s still pizza.
Homeless guy: Cold pizza? Who eats cold pizza? I aint heard of nothin’ like that in my life. No, I don’t want any of your crack ass pizza.
Pedestrian: Hey! You’re homeless, you’re not supposed to be picky.
Homeless guy: I bet you got a tight pussy.Minneapolis, 9th & LaSalle
Overheard by she does, i’ve seen it. -
These Will Be The Vows
Woman #1, part of a group going to a bridal shower: Never have I ever humped a dog!
Woman #2: Never have I ever taken it in the ass.
Woman #3: …and liked it.
Woman #1: Never have I ever given a b.j.
Woman #2: Never have I ever woken up somewhere and not known where I was.
Woman #3: I did that once! I called my sister and was like, “I don’t know where I am and there is wood paneling!!”Light rail from MOA to 38th St.
Overheard by Vanessa a.k.a. “The Blogger”. -
Not Just *Any* Phone
Salesman #1: I told her, “Check out my pimp phone, bitch!”
Salesman #2: This is why you can’t fuck my mom. You get all of your confidence from a phone.A Cell Phone Store in the MOA
Overheard by luckily not his mom. -
You Just Can’t Trust The Friends You Do Drugs With Anymore
Girl on Cellphone: Yeah, you know my friend Craig who O.D’d? Yeah, he died last night. Do you know what motherfucker’s friend did? He drove Craig to the hospital then dropped him off in the motherfuckin’ bushes.
Minneapolis, Franklin and Nicollet
Overheard by Acadia Guy.
