Archive for February, 2009
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Let’s Start With The List Of Things You Can Do
Woman, to man: Look, I simply cannot–cannot–suck your cock.
St. Paul, Metro State University
Overheard by sxoidmal. -
She Might Have To Enlist Help
Waitress to male patron: So, do you want a sauce other than caribbean jerk on one of the buffalitos?
Male patron: No, just jerk on both of them.Lakeville, Buffalo Wild Wings
Overheard by I’ll take mine without sauce, please. -
Depends On Who You Ask
Guy #1 to a group of friends, discussing the rowing team: Yeah, we suck. We suck big time.
Guy #2: That’s probably not a good thing on an all-guy’s team.U of MN study lounge
Overheard by Oh, I don’t know…. -
But I Had Balls In My Mouth Before That
Blond girl #1: What if I had balls in my mouth before you came?
Blond girl #2: Did you?
Blond girl #1: No, I brushed my teeth before you came.Minneapolis, Caffetto
Overheard by So, did you have balls in your mouth? -
We Don’t Know Where To Begin The Diagnosis
Beautiful man to his equally beautiful girlfriend: Awe, baby, don’t cry; it makes my dick hard!
St Paul, Cub Foods
Overheard by who says men aren’t sensitive?? -
Did You Keep His Receipt?
Highschool Girl: This shirt fits like my boyfriend; TOO SMALL!!
MOA
Overheard by Uncomfortable Fitting Room Attendant. -
It Gets Buried With Them
Girl #1 sitting at table: Did you know that the most popular kind of dildo around army bases is the kind where they take a cast of the husband’s penis and the wife uses that while he’s off at war or something?
Girl #2: Damn. What happens if they die?Minneapolis, Liquor Lyles
Overheard by something to remember them by. -
I Guess That Means It Went Well
Drunk Girl: Oh my God, PLEASE do not tell me you fucked him before he added you on Facebook!
Dinkytown, Burrito Loco
Overheard by …Cause it’s totally different if you’re already facebook friends. -
Looking For Cheap Valentine’s Day Date Ideas?
Barista to friend: And he just gets high, makes Mac & Cheese, and fucks them!
Uptown, Plan B Coffehouse
Overheard by Pleased customer. -
What A Tempting Proposal
Teenage boy yelling to his girlfriend: Whatever! Lunch is over so you can suck my cock now!
Plymouth, Wayzata High School
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You’re Doing It Right
Woman #1 to woman #2 while exiting the elevator: Well, I’m not surprised, I always find weird things in my box.
Woman #2: Well, I mostly just find money in my box.Minneapolis, Office Building
Overheard by Am I the only one who finds this funny? -
That’s Already Been Turned Into Porn
Wannabe gangster flaming gay man: That bitch just walked by lookin’ like Lil’ Red Ridin’ Hood!
Confused friend: What?
Flaming gay man: I wonder if she on her way to gramma’s house. Shit, that’s right, she on her way to gramma’s house, gonna fill her basket with some pussy!Minneapolis, The Saloon
Overheard by a.lil. -
Maybe That’s Why It’s Stank
Guy with 11 bags at the bus stop: And I told her hellllllll nah, I ain’t gonna eat yo pussy! It stank! It staaaaaank! I hate a stanky pussy. Hey man, give me a cigarette.
Minneapolis, Groveland and Hennepin – waiting for the 6
Overheard by I don’t smoke. -
“That’s What She Said” Would Be Too Easy
Man holding a clipboard and waggling a finger in the air: That box IS the hardest working box we have here. BY FAR! It’ll hold ANYTHING you can fit inside of it.
Chanhassen, Rosemount Process Management
Overheard by I’m partial to THIS box. -
And He Believed Her
Out-of-town visitor to group: So, then she tells me she can’t swallow because she’s on a diet.
Minneapolis (Uptown), Super Bowl Party
Overheard by Not on a diet. -
Fun With College!
Girl #1: Are you getting over your homosexuality yet?
Girl #2: One dildo at a time.St Paul, Das Barn
Overheard by thats one way to do it.
