Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
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I Need To Find A New Study Group
Young Freshmen girl: And then he JIZZED in my eye!
Minneapolis, Southwest High School
Overheard by Riveria Sanchez. -
They All Are
20-something Asian girl: My clitoris is like a small penis.
Minneapolis, the 6 bus route
Overheard by Riveria Sanchez. -
I Want To Know What She Thought It Was
20-Something-Girl: His penis had this strange flap of skin hanging off the end. I couldn’t even see the head of his dick.
20-Something-Guy: Ok? So, he was uncircumsized?
20-Something-Girl: OH MY GOD! I only thought they had that in England!Minneapolis, Potbellys Sandwiches
Overheard by Big Ben is UnCut. -
Get Her An Instructional Video For Her Birthday
Bartender: You’re 21 now; you will suck dick and you will like it. It’s time to be an adult.
Minneapolis, Drink in Uptown
Overheard by i dont remember that initiation into adulthood. -
That Was OUR Special Place
Girl to guy: You made her go to church? You fucking asshole!
Minneapolis, Cedar Lake East Beach
Overheard by Oh, the horror. -
He Doesn’t Go Eye All The Way On The First Date
Woman, to distracted man across the table: Are you eye fucking somebody?
Proud man: Well, no, I was eye finger banging her.Minneapolis, Uptown Bar
Overheard by Well in that, case carry on. -
Discovering More Reasons To Be Regular
Girl in stall: Why am I such a fucking slut??
Girl at sink: Because you ate that Fiber One bar, you cunt!!Dinkytown, Blarney ladies room
Overheard by interesting logic. -
One Step Closer
Buff Frat Boy #1: Look, dude, I don’t want to sound gay or anything, but you need to stop telling me about you and Tina’s sex life, cause it’s all I can think about now when I jack off.
Buff Frat Boy #2: No shame in that, dude. It’s kind of flattering.
Buff Frat Boy #1: Ok, cool. Well, carry on then.Minneapolis, in line at Starbucks
Overheard by Bromance At It’s Finest. -
Trade One Game Of Poker For Another
Girl on cell phone: They were playing poker for, like, FOUR HOURS last night. I know, seriously! Like, helllooooo, come fuck me!
Minneapolis, Uptown McDonalds
Overheard by Where are my pocket rockets? -
Then You Already Know
Guy (loudly, on cell phone): So, how was your night? Lots of penis, I heard??
Minneapolis, Leaving Loring Park, after Music and Movies
Overheard by Stephan? -
Yeah, What’s Her Problem?
Artsy guy on bike to artsy girl on bike: I wish you wanted my nuts right now.
Northeast Minneapolis, right lane of Broadway Avenue
Overheard by driver passing by w/the windows down. -
Express Lane Only
Voice on walkie talkie: Additional cashiers to the front lanes.
Guy shopping for video games: Additional cashiers to suck my dick.Chanhassen, Target
Overheard by I’m sure one would be more than sufficient. -
I’ll Take Tums Over The Alternative
Woman in bathroom stall: This bathroom smells like pussy! (sniffs) And TUMS!
Minneapolis, Macy’s
Overheard by okay? -
No, It’s Much Worse Than That
Guy: I bet having your toes sucked feels good, but I would feel bad if a girl were sucking my toes, because that would be gross.
Girl: But you wouldn’t feel bad about her putting your dick in her mouth?
Guy: Well no, I don’t walk around on my dick all day.Uptown, Hidden Beach
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Porn Doesn’t Make Itself, People!
Aspiring camerawoman: I’mma take the camera out, and y’all better start fucking!
St. Paul, Hillcrest Hill
Overheard by Uhmmm… Okay! -
Not Something You Should Admit
Girl, roughly 15, with a drunken group of friends: I think someone fingered me when I wasn’t looking!
Plymouth, Music in Plymouth
Overheard by An innocent bystander. -
Does Fun Dip Even Come In Six Flavors?
Punk #1: He likes his girls how he likes Fun Dip.
Punk #2: Huh?
Punk #1: Six flavors all at once on his stick!St. Paul, Fairgrounds
Overheard by How is that even possible? -
Those Must Be Some Huge… Rafters
Patron: All I can imagine is him hanging from the rafters like King Kong while getting a blow job.
Edina, Big Bowl
Overheard by kizzat. -
It’s Nice To Witness A Healthy Relationship
Drunk Girlfriend: Would you rather rape me or shoot me?
Drunk Boyfriend: Right now I’d like to shoot you.
Drunk Girlfriend: But if you raped me, then you could at least get off.Minneapolis, on the lightrail between the dome and Ft. Snelling
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But She’ll Never Go Back
White tween girl to other white tween girl: I mean, just because she had some black in her for, like, 5 minutes doesn’t make her black.
Minneapolis, on 50th street between Bryant and Aldrich
