Aspiring camerawoman: I’mma take the camera out, and y’all better start fucking!

St. Paul, Hillcrest Hill
Overheard by Uhmmm… Okay!

Girl, roughly 15, with a drunken group of friends: I think someone fingered me when I wasn’t looking!

Plymouth, Music in Plymouth
Overheard by An innocent bystander.

Punk #1: He likes his girls how he likes Fun Dip.
Punk #2: Huh?
Punk #1: Six flavors all at once on his stick!

St. Paul, Fairgrounds
Overheard by How is that even possible?

Patron: All I can imagine is him hanging from the rafters like King Kong while getting a blow job.

Edina, Big Bowl
Overheard by kizzat.

Drunk Girlfriend: Would you rather rape me or shoot me?
Drunk Boyfriend: Right now I’d like to shoot you.
Drunk Girlfriend: But if you raped me, then you could at least get off.

Minneapolis, on the lightrail between the dome and Ft. Snelling

White tween girl to other white tween girl: I mean, just because she had some black in her for, like, 5 minutes doesn’t make her black.

Minneapolis, on 50th street between Bryant and Aldrich

Student #1: So, I asked her if she wanted to fuck.
Student #2: (disbelieving) You asked her if she wanted to fuck?!
Student #1: Well, not in so many words; but she said ‘no’.  She said she was on her period.

St. Paul, The University of St. Thomas
Overheard by Not In So Many Words…

Fat white guy to fat black guy: You look like you’re feeling good, mind if I ask what you been eating?
Fat black guy: Only the finest pussy!
Fat white guy: Lord have mercy!
Fat black guy: With a little mustard, mmm mmm!
Fat white guy: Lordy, Lordy!

Minneapolis, Warehouse District/Hennepin Ave lightrail station
Overheard by mustard?

Girl on cell phone: Ha! You’re my mistress, you totally don’t get to smell my dick ’cause you KNOW it’s been somewhere else!

Minneapolis, Lightrail Station, Dowtown
Overheard by Riskay?

Homeless man #1, after screaming incoherently at #2 for singing: Quit swinging on white dick you sweaty mouse fuck!
Homeless man #2: Take your meds now, just go on and take your meds now.

Minneapolis, Nicollet Mall
Overheard by I dont want to get in the middle of this.

Dude#1: I would never bang her.
Dude#2: What if you had to repopulate the earth and she was way hotter?
Dude#1: Considering the upgraded hotness and the doom of humanity I would have to think about it, at least.

Minneapolis, Uptown bar
Overheard by Please continue I wont post this.

Freshman male: Just put it in your mouth and chew!
Sophomore female: THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!
Bystander male: God, I hope not.

St Paul, Concordia University
Overheard by: I hope not either.

Guy #1: If a guy gets infected during a zombie attack, but hasn’t turned into a zombie yet, what happens if he gets a blow job from someone? Do they become a zombie too?
Guy #2: Does she swallow?
Guy #1: Sure, why not?
Guy #2: I don’t know, but I think we should explore that!

Saint Paul, Elevator in the Radisson
Overheard by Zombie “Lovers”.

Bro #1: Dude, do you have any idea what it’s like for another man to ask if he can fuck you?!
Bro #2: No, dude.
Bro #1: It fucking sucks dude!

Minneapolis, Frat Row in Dinkytown
Overheard by I’ll bet.

Mid-20s guy: I’d give it to her from behind, that’s how I’d give it to her. Yeah. (long pause) While homeless people watch.

St. Paul, State Capitol
Overheard by a.lil.

Trainer: I’m coming in your back door, are you ready?
Trainee: What?
Trainer: Just go with it.

Woodbury, Loan Servicing Company
Overheard by hope you have lube.

Drunk guy: You know, you’re cute for a blonde. And I don’t like blondes.
Blonde girl: Hm, thanks.
Drunk guy: (stares at blonde girl for a second with grin on face) Soooo, do you want to fuck? After I go to the bathroom?

Minneapolis, First Ave, Lily Allen concert

Middle-aged black man on his cell phone: You mean to tell me, that you fuckin’ my ho? (pause) She comin’ well? (pause) In yo’ room?! (pause) Payin’ yo’ RENT?! WOOOOooooo.

6U Northbound
Overheard by ak.

Drunk girl: Oh my gawd, Angelina. Will you please just get on the big dick so I can take a picture? I’ll give you five dollars.

Minneapolis, Sex World
Overheard by Kay Jay.

Man standing on street to woman walking by holding a child: Damn yous so fucking sexy, I want to get on that.

Minneapolis, Nicollet Mall
Overheard by Not the way to win a woman.