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And You Believed Her!
Student #1: So, I asked her if she wanted to fuck.
Student #2: (disbelieving) You asked her if she wanted to fuck?!
Student #1: Well, not in so many words; but she said ‘no’. She said she was on her period.St. Paul, The University of St. Thomas
Overheard by Not In So Many Words…05/11/2009 | tags: sex, st paul
(+7 rating, 9 votes)
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He Has Discovered The Fountain Of Youth
Fat white guy to fat black guy: You look like you’re feeling good, mind if I ask what you been eating?
Fat black guy: Only the finest pussy!
Fat white guy: Lord have mercy!
Fat black guy: With a little mustard, mmm mmm!
Fat white guy: Lordy, Lordy!Minneapolis, Warehouse District/Hennepin Ave lightrail station
Overheard by mustard?05/11/2009 | tags: foreplay, minneapolis, sex
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Then You Understand My Interest
Girl on cell phone: Ha! You’re my mistress, you totally don’t get to smell my dick ’cause you KNOW it’s been somewhere else!
Minneapolis, Lightrail Station, Dowtown
Overheard by Riskay?05/05/2009 | tags: genitals, minneapolis
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Sounds Like He Already Has
Homeless man #1, after screaming incoherently at #2 for singing: Quit swinging on white dick you sweaty mouse fuck!
Homeless man #2: Take your meds now, just go on and take your meds now.Minneapolis, Nicollet Mall
Overheard by I dont want to get in the middle of this.05/05/2009 | tags: minneapolis, the homeless
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Your Sacrifice Is Noble
Dude#1: I would never bang her.
Dude#2: What if you had to repopulate the earth and she was way hotter?
Dude#1: Considering the upgraded hotness and the doom of humanity I would have to think about it, at least.Minneapolis, Uptown bar
Overheard by Please continue I wont post this.04/30/2009 | tags: bars, minneapolis
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Not For Very Long
Freshman male: Just put it in your mouth and chew!
Sophomore female: THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!
Bystander male: God, I hope not.St Paul, Concordia University
Overheard by: I hope not either.04/30/2009 | tags: innuendo, st paul
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Flip A Coin
Guy #1: If a guy gets infected during a zombie attack, but hasn’t turned into a zombie yet, what happens if he gets a blow job from someone? Do they become a zombie too?
Guy #2: Does she swallow?
Guy #1: Sure, why not?
Guy #2: I don’t know, but I think we should explore that!Saint Paul, Elevator in the Radisson
Overheard by Zombie “Lovers”.04/28/2009 | tags: foreplay, st paul
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My Bro-ness Was Totally Threatened!
Bro #1: Dude, do you have any idea what it’s like for another man to ask if he can fuck you?!
Bro #2: No, dude.
Bro #1: It fucking sucks dude!Minneapolis, Frat Row in Dinkytown
Overheard by I’ll bet.04/27/2009 | tags: minneapolis, sex
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Happy Anniversary, Baby!
Mid-20s guy: I’d give it to her from behind, that’s how I’d give it to her. Yeah. (long pause) While homeless people watch.
St. Paul, State Capitol
Overheard by a.lil.04/23/2009 | tags: sex, st paul
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Not Falling For That Twice
Trainer: I’m coming in your back door, are you ready?
Trainee: What?
Trainer: Just go with it.Woodbury, Loan Servicing Company
Overheard by hope you have lube.04/22/2009 | tags: buttsex, innuendo, nsfw, woodbury
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He’s Saving The Best Romance For Later
Drunk guy: You know, you’re cute for a blonde. And I don’t like blondes.
Blonde girl: Hm, thanks.
Drunk guy: (stares at blonde girl for a second with grin on face) Soooo, do you want to fuck? After I go to the bathroom?Minneapolis, First Ave, Lily Allen concert
04/18/2009 | tags: drunks, minneapolis, sex
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Don’t Let This One Go
Middle-aged black man on his cell phone: You mean to tell me, that you fuckin’ my ho? (pause) She comin’ well? (pause) In yo’ room?! (pause) Payin’ yo’ RENT?! WOOOOooooo.
6U Northbound
Overheard by ak.04/14/2009 | tags: minneapolis, sex
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Up It To $15 And We’ll Talk
Drunk girl: Oh my gawd, Angelina. Will you please just get on the big dick so I can take a picture? I’ll give you five dollars.
Minneapolis, Sex World
Overheard by Kay Jay.03/30/2009 | tags: drunks, genitals, minneapolis
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Here’s A Guy Who Likes A Challenge
Man standing on street to woman walking by holding a child: Damn yous so fucking sexy, I want to get on that.
Minneapolis, Nicollet Mall
Overheard by Not the way to win a woman.03/24/2009 | tags: creepy old guys, minneapolis
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How About We Let The Cat Decide
40 something business man on cell phone in slice line: You just let ME fuck that cat.
Minneapolis, Pizza Luce Downtown
Overheard by Slicetro.03/23/2009 | tags: minneapolis, sex
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Put Them Away And I Won’t Be Tempted To Stare
Coworker #1 to coworker #2: BALLGAZER!
Mendota Heights, Cube farm
Overheard by Innocent coworker.03/22/2009 | tags: genitals, mendota heights, nsfw
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I Thought It Was Mine!
Man yelling outside my apartment #1: No, I didn’t!
Man yelling outside my apartment #2: Yes, you did! You turned around and grabbed my dick!!Minneapolis, Lasalle Ave.
Overheard by you liked it.03/22/2009 | tags: genitals, minneapolis
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Give Me Just One Night Off
Early 20-something girl to mid-20′s guy: Whatever! Go suck a dick! I’m tired…
Minneapolis, Barfly
Overheard by jenc17.03/19/2009 | tags: genitals, minneapolis, sex
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Give Him A Raise
Subway employee to manager: That inspector yesterday was a total munt.
Manager: What’s a munt?
Subway employee: A man-cunt. I just made that up.
Manager: Not bad.Eden Prairie, Subway, Anderson Lakes Pkwy
Overheard by D.R.B. thinks this should become a part of out lexicon…03/16/2009 | tags: eden prairie, genitals, nsfw
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Close Friends
Drunk buddy to another: I totally fucked you in ass on that one.
Minneapolis, Dinkytown
Overheard by SiNDerella.03/09/2009 | tags: buttsex, drunks, minneapolis
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