Girl, to her friends: And then she touched my clitoris! And it was NOT okay. And it was NOT okay.

Minneapolis, First Avenue, Doomtree
Overheard by What Would Grandma Think?

Young Freshmen girl: And then he JIZZED in my eye!

Minneapolis, Southwest High School
Overheard by Riveria Sanchez.

Woman, to distracted man across the table: Are you eye fucking somebody?
Proud man: Well, no, I was eye finger banging her.

Minneapolis, Uptown Bar
Overheard by Well in that, case carry on.

Voice on walkie talkie: Additional cashiers to the front lanes.
Guy shopping for video games: Additional cashiers to suck my dick.

Chanhassen, Target
Overheard by I’m sure one would be more than sufficient.

Fat white guy to fat black guy: You look like you’re feeling good, mind if I ask what you been eating?
Fat black guy: Only the finest pussy!
Fat white guy: Lord have mercy!
Fat black guy: With a little mustard, mmm mmm!
Fat white guy: Lordy, Lordy!

Minneapolis, Warehouse District/Hennepin Ave lightrail station
Overheard by mustard?

Guy #1: If a guy gets infected during a zombie attack, but hasn’t turned into a zombie yet, what happens if he gets a blow job from someone? Do they become a zombie too?
Guy #2: Does she swallow?
Guy #1: Sure, why not?
Guy #2: I don’t know, but I think we should explore that!

Saint Paul, Elevator in the Radisson
Overheard by Zombie “Lovers”.

Girl #1: You know what I miss? Getting fingered.
Girl #2: I know! Guys NEVER finger me anymore!

Minneapolis, South High School
Overheard by The romance is gone.