I Asked For A Backrub

Posted by oim | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 13-12-2009

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Girl, to her friends: And then she touched my clitoris! And it was NOT okay. And it was NOT okay.

Minneapolis, First Avenue, Doomtree
Overheard by What Would Grandma Think?

I Need To Find A New Study Group

Posted by oim | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 10-11-2009

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Young Freshmen girl: And then he JIZZED in my eye!

Minneapolis, Southwest High School
Overheard by Riveria Sanchez.

He Doesn’t Go Eye All The Way On The First Date

Posted by oim | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 07-09-2009

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Woman, to distracted man across the table: Are you eye fucking somebody?
Proud man: Well, no, I was eye finger banging her.

Minneapolis, Uptown Bar
Overheard by Well in that, case carry on.

Express Lane Only

Posted by oim | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 16-07-2009

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Voice on walkie talkie: Additional cashiers to the front lanes.
Guy shopping for video games: Additional cashiers to suck my dick.

Chanhassen, Target
Overheard by I’m sure one would be more than sufficient.

He Has Discovered The Fountain Of Youth

Posted by oim | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 11-05-2009

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Fat white guy to fat black guy: You look like you’re feeling good, mind if I ask what you been eating?
Fat black guy: Only the finest pussy!
Fat white guy: Lord have mercy!
Fat black guy: With a little mustard, mmm mmm!
Fat white guy: Lordy, Lordy!

Minneapolis, Warehouse District/Hennepin Ave lightrail station
Overheard by mustard?

Flip A Coin

Posted by oim | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 28-04-2009

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Guy #1: If a guy gets infected during a zombie attack, but hasn’t turned into a zombie yet, what happens if he gets a blow job from someone? Do they become a zombie too?
Guy #2: Does she swallow?
Guy #1: Sure, why not?
Guy #2: I don’t know, but I think we should explore that!

Saint Paul, Elevator in the Radisson
Overheard by Zombie “Lovers”.

It’s Such A Shame Because Teenage Boys Are Really Good At That

Posted by oim | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 24-01-2009

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Girl #1: You know what I miss? Getting fingered.
Girl #2: I know! Guys NEVER finger me anymore!

Minneapolis, South High School
Overheard by The romance is gone.