Posts Tagged ‘foreplay’
-
Watching Young Love Blossom
20-something male: His dick bigger than mine, but when they hard they the same size.
20-something female: How do you know?
20-something male: Because we jerk off together.
20-something female: Really? Do guys do that?
20-something male: Yeah, I jerked off next to, let’s see, James, Chris, Kevin…
20-something female: Kevin’s dick quivers when he comes.
(a few minutes later)
20-something male: See, that’s what I like about you. The other girls I fuck around with, they only care who got the weed, who can drive. You different. You’re in it for me.Minneapolis, #2 Bus
Overheard by Bland Social Life. -
I’m Holding Auditions
Stranger to couple: Does he lick cocaine off your labia?
Minneapolis, 331 Club
Overheard by aeh. -
That Was The Last Time I Went To A Strip Club
Man with facial hair to friend: Then I got jizz in my goatee.
Bloomington, Twin City Grill
Overheard by Kirsten. -
That’s So Much More Fun
Drunk girl to drunk male friend: Hey man, I know she was giving you a handjob in the last bar, but seriously, let’s just go drink!
St. Paul, Shamrocks
-
I Asked For A Backrub
Girl, to her friends: And then she touched my clitoris! And it was NOT okay. And it was NOT okay.
Minneapolis, First Avenue, Doomtree
Overheard by What Would Grandma Think? -
I Need To Find A New Study Group
Young Freshmen girl: And then he JIZZED in my eye!
Minneapolis, Southwest High School
Overheard by Riveria Sanchez. -
He Doesn’t Go Eye All The Way On The First Date
Woman, to distracted man across the table: Are you eye fucking somebody?
Proud man: Well, no, I was eye finger banging her.Minneapolis, Uptown Bar
Overheard by Well in that, case carry on. -
Express Lane Only
Voice on walkie talkie: Additional cashiers to the front lanes.
Guy shopping for video games: Additional cashiers to suck my dick.Chanhassen, Target
Overheard by I’m sure one would be more than sufficient. -
He Has Discovered The Fountain Of Youth
Fat white guy to fat black guy: You look like you’re feeling good, mind if I ask what you been eating?
Fat black guy: Only the finest pussy!
Fat white guy: Lord have mercy!
Fat black guy: With a little mustard, mmm mmm!
Fat white guy: Lordy, Lordy!Minneapolis, Warehouse District/Hennepin Ave lightrail station
Overheard by mustard? -
Flip A Coin
Guy #1: If a guy gets infected during a zombie attack, but hasn’t turned into a zombie yet, what happens if he gets a blow job from someone? Do they become a zombie too?
Guy #2: Does she swallow?
Guy #1: Sure, why not?
Guy #2: I don’t know, but I think we should explore that!Saint Paul, Elevator in the Radisson
Overheard by Zombie “Lovers”. -
It’s Such A Shame Because Teenage Boys Are Really Good At That
Girl #1: You know what I miss? Getting fingered.
Girl #2: I know! Guys NEVER finger me anymore!Minneapolis, South High School
Overheard by The romance is gone.
