Guy eating gyro: Man, this shit is good. Pussy is better though.

Minneapolis, riding the 2
Overheard by The Gyro Did Look Good.

Dude: I’m nothing but class. I’m the Dean Martin of trading drugs for pussy.

Minneapolis, bar on 7 Corners
Overheard by My BlackBerry wants no part of your Rat Pack.

Girl, to her friends: And then she touched my clitoris! And it was NOT okay. And it was NOT okay.

Minneapolis, First Avenue, Doomtree
Overheard by What Would Grandma Think?

20-something Asian girl: My clitoris is like a small penis.

Minneapolis, the 6 bus route
Overheard by Riveria Sanchez.

20-Something-Girl: His penis had this strange flap of skin hanging off the end. I couldn’t even see the head of his dick.
20-Something-Guy: Ok? So, he was uncircumsized?
20-Something-Girl: OH MY GOD! I only thought they had that in England!

Minneapolis, Potbellys Sandwiches
Overheard by Big Ben is UnCut.

Guy (loudly, on cell phone): So, how was your night? Lots of penis, I heard??

Minneapolis, Leaving Loring Park, after Music and Movies
Overheard by Stephan?

Artsy guy on bike to artsy girl on bike: I wish you wanted my nuts right now.

Northeast Minneapolis, right lane of Broadway Avenue
Overheard by driver passing by w/the windows down.

Woman in bathroom stall: This bathroom smells like pussy! (sniffs) And TUMS!

Minneapolis, Macy’s
Overheard by okay?

Guy: I bet having your toes sucked feels good, but I would feel bad if a girl were sucking my toes, because that would be gross.
Girl: But you wouldn’t feel bad about her putting your dick in her mouth?
Guy: Well no, I don’t walk around on my dick all day.

Uptown, Hidden Beach

Punk #1: He likes his girls how he likes Fun Dip.
Punk #2: Huh?
Punk #1: Six flavors all at once on his stick!

St. Paul, Fairgrounds
Overheard by How is that even possible?

Girl on cell phone: Ha! You’re my mistress, you totally don’t get to smell my dick ’cause you KNOW it’s been somewhere else!

Minneapolis, Lightrail Station, Dowtown
Overheard by Riskay?

Drunk girl: Oh my gawd, Angelina. Will you please just get on the big dick so I can take a picture? I’ll give you five dollars.

Minneapolis, Sex World
Overheard by Kay Jay.

Coworker #1 to coworker #2: BALLGAZER!

Mendota Heights,  Cube farm
Overheard by Innocent coworker.

Man yelling outside my apartment #1: No, I didn’t!
Man yelling outside my apartment #2: Yes, you did! You turned around and grabbed my dick!!

Minneapolis, Lasalle Ave.
Overheard by you liked it.

Early 20-something girl to mid-20’s guy: Whatever!  Go suck a dick!  I’m tired…

Minneapolis, Barfly
Overheard by jenc17.

Subway employee to manager: That inspector yesterday was a total munt.
Manager: What’s a munt?
Subway employee: A man-cunt. I just made that up.
Manager: Not bad.

Eden Prairie, Subway, Anderson Lakes Pkwy
Overheard by D.R.B. thinks this should become a part of out lexicon…

Drunk bro to another bro: Dude, I hope there’s some hot chicks here tonight, I want to put my wiener on one.

St. Paul, Wild Onion men’s bathroom
Overheard by Keep it in your pants.

Woman, to man: Look, I simply cannot–cannot–suck your cock.

St. Paul, Metro State University
Overheard by sxoidmal.

Blond girl #1: What if I had balls in my mouth before you came?
Blond girl #2: Did you?
Blond girl #1: No, I brushed my teeth before you came.

Minneapolis, Caffetto
Overheard by So, did you have balls in your mouth?

Beautiful man to his equally beautiful girlfriend: Awe, baby, don’t cry; it makes my dick hard!

St Paul, Cub Foods
Overheard by who says men aren’t sensitive??