Posts Tagged ‘genitals’
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I Would Cut Off A Leg If I Thought It Would Help
20 something man: I felt bad for that 3-legged dog until I saw his dick is bigger than his nub.
Minneapolis, Psycho Suzi’s Patio
Overheard by NordeastLove. -
He Just Wants To Know How To Access It
Man peeing in urinal: I have an extra three inches of dick behind my balls. (Silence from the crowded restroom) Scientifically it’s true. That’s what they say. (Longer silence. Man angrily flushes the urinal and leaves.)
Roseville, AMC Theater
Overheard by Next in line. -
Watching Young Love Blossom
20-something male: His dick bigger than mine, but when they hard they the same size.
20-something female: How do you know?
20-something male: Because we jerk off together.
20-something female: Really? Do guys do that?
20-something male: Yeah, I jerked off next to, let’s see, James, Chris, Kevin…
20-something female: Kevin’s dick quivers when he comes.
(a few minutes later)
20-something male: See, that’s what I like about you. The other girls I fuck around with, they only care who got the weed, who can drive. You different. You’re in it for me.Minneapolis, #2 Bus
Overheard by Bland Social Life. -
Put That Review On Urbanspoon
Guy eating gyro: Man, this shit is good. Pussy is better though.
Minneapolis, riding the 2
Overheard by The Gyro Did Look Good. -
Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Hookers And Blow
Dude: I’m nothing but class. I’m the Dean Martin of trading drugs for pussy.
Minneapolis, bar on 7 Corners
Overheard by My BlackBerry wants no part of your Rat Pack. -
I Asked For A Backrub
Girl, to her friends: And then she touched my clitoris! And it was NOT okay. And it was NOT okay.
Minneapolis, First Avenue, Doomtree
Overheard by What Would Grandma Think? -
They All Are
20-something Asian girl: My clitoris is like a small penis.
Minneapolis, the 6 bus route
Overheard by Riveria Sanchez. -
I Want To Know What She Thought It Was
20-Something-Girl: His penis had this strange flap of skin hanging off the end. I couldn’t even see the head of his dick.
20-Something-Guy: Ok? So, he was uncircumsized?
20-Something-Girl: OH MY GOD! I only thought they had that in England!Minneapolis, Potbellys Sandwiches
Overheard by Big Ben is UnCut. -
Then You Already Know
Guy (loudly, on cell phone): So, how was your night? Lots of penis, I heard??
Minneapolis, Leaving Loring Park, after Music and Movies
Overheard by Stephan? -
Yeah, What’s Her Problem?
Artsy guy on bike to artsy girl on bike: I wish you wanted my nuts right now.
Northeast Minneapolis, right lane of Broadway Avenue
Overheard by driver passing by w/the windows down. -
I’ll Take Tums Over The Alternative
Woman in bathroom stall: This bathroom smells like pussy! (sniffs) And TUMS!
Minneapolis, Macy’s
Overheard by okay? -
No, It’s Much Worse Than That
Guy: I bet having your toes sucked feels good, but I would feel bad if a girl were sucking my toes, because that would be gross.
Girl: But you wouldn’t feel bad about her putting your dick in her mouth?
Guy: Well no, I don’t walk around on my dick all day.Uptown, Hidden Beach
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Does Fun Dip Even Come In Six Flavors?
Punk #1: He likes his girls how he likes Fun Dip.
Punk #2: Huh?
Punk #1: Six flavors all at once on his stick!St. Paul, Fairgrounds
Overheard by How is that even possible? -
Then You Understand My Interest
Girl on cell phone: Ha! You’re my mistress, you totally don’t get to smell my dick ’cause you KNOW it’s been somewhere else!
Minneapolis, Lightrail Station, Dowtown
Overheard by Riskay? -
Up It To $15 And We’ll Talk
Drunk girl: Oh my gawd, Angelina. Will you please just get on the big dick so I can take a picture? I’ll give you five dollars.
Minneapolis, Sex World
Overheard by Kay Jay. -
Put Them Away And I Won’t Be Tempted To Stare
Coworker #1 to coworker #2: BALLGAZER!
Mendota Heights, Cube farm
Overheard by Innocent coworker. -
I Thought It Was Mine!
Man yelling outside my apartment #1: No, I didn’t!
Man yelling outside my apartment #2: Yes, you did! You turned around and grabbed my dick!!Minneapolis, Lasalle Ave.
Overheard by you liked it. -
Give Me Just One Night Off
Early 20-something girl to mid-20′s guy: Whatever! Go suck a dick! I’m tired…
Minneapolis, Barfly
Overheard by jenc17. -
Give Him A Raise
Subway employee to manager: That inspector yesterday was a total munt.
Manager: What’s a munt?
Subway employee: A man-cunt. I just made that up.
Manager: Not bad.Eden Prairie, Subway, Anderson Lakes Pkwy
Overheard by D.R.B. thinks this should become a part of out lexicon… -
That’s Not Quite Right
Drunk bro to another bro: Dude, I hope there’s some hot chicks here tonight, I want to put my wiener on one.
St. Paul, Wild Onion men’s bathroom
Overheard by Keep it in your pants.
