Posts Tagged ‘minneapolis’
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Sometimes It’s All You Have Left
Flustered, red-faced, sweating young father to wailing, inconsolable infant: FUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOU!
Minneapolis, Central Library Lot
Overheard by TwinCitizen. -
Support The Greenway!
20-something woman, to boyfriend walking alongside: It’s like, look, I live at my house, and you live at your house, and sometimes we meet halfway in between and fuck. You get it?
Minneapolis, Midtown Greenway
Overheard by Hoping “halfway in between” is an enclosed space of some sort. -
I Would Cut Off A Leg If I Thought It Would Help
20 something man: I felt bad for that 3-legged dog until I saw his dick is bigger than his nub.
Minneapolis, Psycho Suzi’s Patio
Overheard by NordeastLove. -
You Had Me At Pizza
Older man reminiscing with friend: Yea, man, I used to live in this neighborhood 30 years ago. Seen a lot of shows at the Cabooze. Intermission I used to say ‘Let’s go home, get a pizza, and fuck.’ That line worked, too. Nobody believed it did, but it did.
Minneapolis, Seward neighborhood
Overheard by I’m gonna have to try that one. -
So I Put It In My Contract
Woman to coworker: If it’s not 18 inches it just doesn’t feel right.
Minneapolis, Wells Fargo Home Mortgage office elevator
Overheard by wanting to meet some of YOUR friends. -
You’re Going To Be Really Good At This
Drunk Guy: Honestly, though, is the baby really my responsibility if I don’t remember cumming?
Minneapolis, 4th St, Dinkytown
Overheard by ItSureIs. -
Watching Young Love Blossom
20-something male: His dick bigger than mine, but when they hard they the same size.
20-something female: How do you know?
20-something male: Because we jerk off together.
20-something female: Really? Do guys do that?
20-something male: Yeah, I jerked off next to, let’s see, James, Chris, Kevin…
20-something female: Kevin’s dick quivers when he comes.
(a few minutes later)
20-something male: See, that’s what I like about you. The other girls I fuck around with, they only care who got the weed, who can drive. You different. You’re in it for me.Minneapolis, #2 Bus
Overheard by Bland Social Life. -
I’m Holding Auditions
Stranger to couple: Does he lick cocaine off your labia?
Minneapolis, 331 Club
Overheard by aeh. -
But No Cleanup
Girl sitting behind me, when the hot dog vendor set down his carrier: I’m getting a facial from this wiener steam!
Minneapolis, May 6 Twins Game, Target Field
Overheard by Luke D. -
Didn’t You Get The Memo?
Guy: Why he call you so early? Tell him to call you at breakfast time or lunch time. He called you at fucking time!
Girl: What, 8:42 is fucking time?
Guy: Yeah!Minneapolis, #10 Bus
Overheard by QuoteRadar. -
Put That Review On Urbanspoon
Guy eating gyro: Man, this shit is good. Pussy is better though.
Minneapolis, riding the 2
Overheard by The Gyro Did Look Good. -
Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Hookers And Blow
Dude: I’m nothing but class. I’m the Dean Martin of trading drugs for pussy.
Minneapolis, bar on 7 Corners
Overheard by My BlackBerry wants no part of your Rat Pack. -
Look Where That Got You
Thug speaking loudly to friend: I found out that bitch was only seventeen after I fucked her. Man, fuck that bitch!
Minneapolis, Zipp’s Liquors
Overheard by What’s your birthdate? -
I Asked For A Backrub
Girl, to her friends: And then she touched my clitoris! And it was NOT okay. And it was NOT okay.
Minneapolis, First Avenue, Doomtree
Overheard by What Would Grandma Think? -
She Doesn’t Know What She’s Missing
Bearded Guy: Tina Fey has a scar on her face?
Quite possibly stoned dude: Yeah man, she got all fucked up as a kid somehow.
Bearded Guy: I’d fuck the shit out of that scar!Minneapolis, Zipp’s Liquors
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I Need To Find A New Study Group
Young Freshmen girl: And then he JIZZED in my eye!
Minneapolis, Southwest High School
Overheard by Riveria Sanchez. -
They All Are
20-something Asian girl: My clitoris is like a small penis.
Minneapolis, the 6 bus route
Overheard by Riveria Sanchez. -
I Want To Know What She Thought It Was
20-Something-Girl: His penis had this strange flap of skin hanging off the end. I couldn’t even see the head of his dick.
20-Something-Guy: Ok? So, he was uncircumsized?
20-Something-Girl: OH MY GOD! I only thought they had that in England!Minneapolis, Potbellys Sandwiches
Overheard by Big Ben is UnCut. -
Get Her An Instructional Video For Her Birthday
Bartender: You’re 21 now; you will suck dick and you will like it. It’s time to be an adult.
Minneapolis, Drink in Uptown
Overheard by i dont remember that initiation into adulthood. -
That Was OUR Special Place
Girl to guy: You made her go to church? You fucking asshole!
Minneapolis, Cedar Lake East Beach
Overheard by Oh, the horror.
