Posts Tagged ‘minneapolis’
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He Doesn’t Go Eye All The Way On The First Date
Woman, to distracted man across the table: Are you eye fucking somebody?
Proud man: Well, no, I was eye finger banging her.Minneapolis, Uptown Bar
Overheard by Well in that, case carry on. -
Discovering More Reasons To Be Regular
Girl in stall: Why am I such a fucking slut??
Girl at sink: Because you ate that Fiber One bar, you cunt!!Dinkytown, Blarney ladies room
Overheard by interesting logic. -
One Step Closer
Buff Frat Boy #1: Look, dude, I don’t want to sound gay or anything, but you need to stop telling me about you and Tina’s sex life, cause it’s all I can think about now when I jack off.
Buff Frat Boy #2: No shame in that, dude. It’s kind of flattering.
Buff Frat Boy #1: Ok, cool. Well, carry on then.Minneapolis, in line at Starbucks
Overheard by Bromance At It’s Finest. -
Trade One Game Of Poker For Another
Girl on cell phone: They were playing poker for, like, FOUR HOURS last night. I know, seriously! Like, helllooooo, come fuck me!
Minneapolis, Uptown McDonalds
Overheard by Where are my pocket rockets? -
Then You Already Know
Guy (loudly, on cell phone): So, how was your night? Lots of penis, I heard??
Minneapolis, Leaving Loring Park, after Music and Movies
Overheard by Stephan? -
Yeah, What’s Her Problem?
Artsy guy on bike to artsy girl on bike: I wish you wanted my nuts right now.
Northeast Minneapolis, right lane of Broadway Avenue
Overheard by driver passing by w/the windows down. -
I’ll Take Tums Over The Alternative
Woman in bathroom stall: This bathroom smells like pussy! (sniffs) And TUMS!
Minneapolis, Macy’s
Overheard by okay? -
No, It’s Much Worse Than That
Guy: I bet having your toes sucked feels good, but I would feel bad if a girl were sucking my toes, because that would be gross.
Girl: But you wouldn’t feel bad about her putting your dick in her mouth?
Guy: Well no, I don’t walk around on my dick all day.Uptown, Hidden Beach
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It’s Nice To Witness A Healthy Relationship
Drunk Girlfriend: Would you rather rape me or shoot me?
Drunk Boyfriend: Right now I’d like to shoot you.
Drunk Girlfriend: But if you raped me, then you could at least get off.Minneapolis, on the lightrail between the dome and Ft. Snelling
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But She’ll Never Go Back
White tween girl to other white tween girl: I mean, just because she had some black in her for, like, 5 minutes doesn’t make her black.
Minneapolis, on 50th street between Bryant and Aldrich
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He Has Discovered The Fountain Of Youth
Fat white guy to fat black guy: You look like you’re feeling good, mind if I ask what you been eating?
Fat black guy: Only the finest pussy!
Fat white guy: Lord have mercy!
Fat black guy: With a little mustard, mmm mmm!
Fat white guy: Lordy, Lordy!Minneapolis, Warehouse District/Hennepin Ave lightrail station
Overheard by mustard? -
Then You Understand My Interest
Girl on cell phone: Ha! You’re my mistress, you totally don’t get to smell my dick ’cause you KNOW it’s been somewhere else!
Minneapolis, Lightrail Station, Dowtown
Overheard by Riskay? -
Sounds Like He Already Has
Homeless man #1, after screaming incoherently at #2 for singing: Quit swinging on white dick you sweaty mouse fuck!
Homeless man #2: Take your meds now, just go on and take your meds now.Minneapolis, Nicollet Mall
Overheard by I dont want to get in the middle of this. -
Your Sacrifice Is Noble
Dude#1: I would never bang her.
Dude#2: What if you had to repopulate the earth and she was way hotter?
Dude#1: Considering the upgraded hotness and the doom of humanity I would have to think about it, at least.Minneapolis, Uptown bar
Overheard by Please continue I wont post this. -
My Bro-ness Was Totally Threatened!
Bro #1: Dude, do you have any idea what it’s like for another man to ask if he can fuck you?!
Bro #2: No, dude.
Bro #1: It fucking sucks dude!Minneapolis, Frat Row in Dinkytown
Overheard by I’ll bet. -
He’s Saving The Best Romance For Later
Drunk guy: You know, you’re cute for a blonde. And I don’t like blondes.
Blonde girl: Hm, thanks.
Drunk guy: (stares at blonde girl for a second with grin on face) Soooo, do you want to fuck? After I go to the bathroom?Minneapolis, First Ave, Lily Allen concert
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Don’t Let This One Go
Middle-aged black man on his cell phone: You mean to tell me, that you fuckin’ my ho? (pause) She comin’ well? (pause) In yo’ room?! (pause) Payin’ yo’ RENT?! WOOOOooooo.
6U Northbound
Overheard by ak. -
Up It To $15 And We’ll Talk
Drunk girl: Oh my gawd, Angelina. Will you please just get on the big dick so I can take a picture? I’ll give you five dollars.
Minneapolis, Sex World
Overheard by Kay Jay. -
Here’s A Guy Who Likes A Challenge
Man standing on street to woman walking by holding a child: Damn yous so fucking sexy, I want to get on that.
Minneapolis, Nicollet Mall
Overheard by Not the way to win a woman. -
How About We Let The Cat Decide
40 something business man on cell phone in slice line: You just let ME fuck that cat.
Minneapolis, Pizza Luce Downtown
Overheard by Slicetro.
