Posts Tagged ‘minneapolis’
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I Thought It Was Mine!
Man yelling outside my apartment #1: No, I didn’t!
Man yelling outside my apartment #2: Yes, you did! You turned around and grabbed my dick!!Minneapolis, Lasalle Ave.
Overheard by you liked it. -
Give Me Just One Night Off
Early 20-something girl to mid-20′s guy: Whatever! Go suck a dick! I’m tired…
Minneapolis, Barfly
Overheard by jenc17. -
Close Friends
Drunk buddy to another: I totally fucked you in ass on that one.
Minneapolis, Dinkytown
Overheard by SiNDerella. -
Depends On Who You Ask
Guy #1 to a group of friends, discussing the rowing team: Yeah, we suck. We suck big time.
Guy #2: That’s probably not a good thing on an all-guy’s team.U of MN study lounge
Overheard by Oh, I don’t know…. -
But I Had Balls In My Mouth Before That
Blond girl #1: What if I had balls in my mouth before you came?
Blond girl #2: Did you?
Blond girl #1: No, I brushed my teeth before you came.Minneapolis, Caffetto
Overheard by So, did you have balls in your mouth? -
It Gets Buried With Them
Girl #1 sitting at table: Did you know that the most popular kind of dildo around army bases is the kind where they take a cast of the husband’s penis and the wife uses that while he’s off at war or something?
Girl #2: Damn. What happens if they die?Minneapolis, Liquor Lyles
Overheard by something to remember them by. -
I Guess That Means It Went Well
Drunk Girl: Oh my God, PLEASE do not tell me you fucked him before he added you on Facebook!
Dinkytown, Burrito Loco
Overheard by …Cause it’s totally different if you’re already facebook friends. -
Looking For Cheap Valentine’s Day Date Ideas?
Barista to friend: And he just gets high, makes Mac & Cheese, and fucks them!
Uptown, Plan B Coffehouse
Overheard by Pleased customer. -
You’re Doing It Right
Woman #1 to woman #2 while exiting the elevator: Well, I’m not surprised, I always find weird things in my box.
Woman #2: Well, I mostly just find money in my box.Minneapolis, Office Building
Overheard by Am I the only one who finds this funny? -
That’s Already Been Turned Into Porn
Wannabe gangster flaming gay man: That bitch just walked by lookin’ like Lil’ Red Ridin’ Hood!
Confused friend: What?
Flaming gay man: I wonder if she on her way to gramma’s house. Shit, that’s right, she on her way to gramma’s house, gonna fill her basket with some pussy!Minneapolis, The Saloon
Overheard by a.lil. -
Maybe That’s Why It’s Stank
Guy with 11 bags at the bus stop: And I told her hellllllll nah, I ain’t gonna eat yo pussy! It stank! It staaaaaank! I hate a stanky pussy. Hey man, give me a cigarette.
Minneapolis, Groveland and Hennepin – waiting for the 6
Overheard by I don’t smoke. -
And He Believed Her
Out-of-town visitor to group: So, then she tells me she can’t swallow because she’s on a diet.
Minneapolis (Uptown), Super Bowl Party
Overheard by Not on a diet. -
Well, The Cable Bill Has Gone Up
Whore in a house: So, I sucked the guy’s dick for $50, and when I brought the money outside to Andres, he told me to go back inside and get $25 more.
Minneapolis, 30th and Jame Ave N
Overheard by LJM. -
Which One?
Black guy to his two friends: Remember that bowlegged whore I told you guys about?
Minneapolis, Franklin and Lyndale
Overheard by I bet she’s great in the saddle. -
If Only All Of Our Problems Were So Easy
Hipster girl: All of my guy friends want to stick their penis in me! I mean, it’s flattering, but it gets old!
Minneapolis, Club Jager
Overheard by Keeping his penis to himself. -
Thanks To Those Pills I Found On The Sidewalk
20-something girl: Yeah, so if anything was living in my uterus, it’s definitely dead now.
Girlfriends: Oh good, that’s good.Minneapolis, streetcorner in Cedar-Riverside
Overheard by Can I buy you a drink? -
You Wait Until Now To Address This?
Bearded man to girl he was with: What is up with you and sticking your finger in my fucking asshole?
Minneapolis, Outside King & I Thai
Overheard by Disturbed Valet. -
Sounds Like She Should Tip The Client
Bartender to stripper who is getting a backrub from a client: I know that look on your face. You better clean off that seat when you stand up!
Minneapolis, Skyway Lounge
Overheard by You just made me gayer. -
That’s A No For Date #2?
Young black man: You’s got a nasty pussy!
Young black woman: Nah, man. This shit is clean!
Young black man: You’s got a infection. A INFECTION!
Young black woman: Nah, my pussy’s tighter than a niggah’s ass!
Young black man: (to passerby) Don’t tap that ass! That pussy’s got the chlamydia!North Minneapolis
Overheard by Thanks for that useless bit of information… -
Don’t Shelter Your Children Too Much
Woman talking about Jesus: I want him inside of me; I want to be filled with his love.
Minneapolis, Church on Lyndale
Overheard by That’s what she said.
