Posts Tagged ‘sex’
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Support The Greenway!
20-something woman, to boyfriend walking alongside: It’s like, look, I live at my house, and you live at your house, and sometimes we meet halfway in between and fuck. You get it?
Minneapolis, Midtown Greenway
Overheard by Hoping “halfway in between” is an enclosed space of some sort. -
You’re Going To Be Really Good At This
Drunk Guy: Honestly, though, is the baby really my responsibility if I don’t remember cumming?
Minneapolis, 4th St, Dinkytown
Overheard by ItSureIs. -
Didn’t You Get The Memo?
Guy: Why he call you so early? Tell him to call you at breakfast time or lunch time. He called you at fucking time!
Girl: What, 8:42 is fucking time?
Guy: Yeah!Minneapolis, #10 Bus
Overheard by QuoteRadar. -
Look Where That Got You
Thug speaking loudly to friend: I found out that bitch was only seventeen after I fucked her. Man, fuck that bitch!
Minneapolis, Zipp’s Liquors
Overheard by What’s your birthdate? -
But Would It Be Worth It?
High school football player: But, if I fucked her sister, she’d be mad at me, like, all day!
Minnetonka High School
Overheard by the entire day? -
She Doesn’t Know What She’s Missing
Bearded Guy: Tina Fey has a scar on her face?
Quite possibly stoned dude: Yeah man, she got all fucked up as a kid somehow.
Bearded Guy: I’d fuck the shit out of that scar!Minneapolis, Zipp’s Liquors
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One Step Closer
Buff Frat Boy #1: Look, dude, I don’t want to sound gay or anything, but you need to stop telling me about you and Tina’s sex life, cause it’s all I can think about now when I jack off.
Buff Frat Boy #2: No shame in that, dude. It’s kind of flattering.
Buff Frat Boy #1: Ok, cool. Well, carry on then.Minneapolis, in line at Starbucks
Overheard by Bromance At It’s Finest. -
Trade One Game Of Poker For Another
Girl on cell phone: They were playing poker for, like, FOUR HOURS last night. I know, seriously! Like, helllooooo, come fuck me!
Minneapolis, Uptown McDonalds
Overheard by Where are my pocket rockets? -
Does Fun Dip Even Come In Six Flavors?
Punk #1: He likes his girls how he likes Fun Dip.
Punk #2: Huh?
Punk #1: Six flavors all at once on his stick!St. Paul, Fairgrounds
Overheard by How is that even possible? -
But She’ll Never Go Back
White tween girl to other white tween girl: I mean, just because she had some black in her for, like, 5 minutes doesn’t make her black.
Minneapolis, on 50th street between Bryant and Aldrich
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And You Believed Her!
Student #1: So, I asked her if she wanted to fuck.
Student #2: (disbelieving) You asked her if she wanted to fuck?!
Student #1: Well, not in so many words; but she said ‘no’. She said she was on her period.St. Paul, The University of St. Thomas
Overheard by Not In So Many Words… -
He Has Discovered The Fountain Of Youth
Fat white guy to fat black guy: You look like you’re feeling good, mind if I ask what you been eating?
Fat black guy: Only the finest pussy!
Fat white guy: Lord have mercy!
Fat black guy: With a little mustard, mmm mmm!
Fat white guy: Lordy, Lordy!Minneapolis, Warehouse District/Hennepin Ave lightrail station
Overheard by mustard? -
My Bro-ness Was Totally Threatened!
Bro #1: Dude, do you have any idea what it’s like for another man to ask if he can fuck you?!
Bro #2: No, dude.
Bro #1: It fucking sucks dude!Minneapolis, Frat Row in Dinkytown
Overheard by I’ll bet. -
Happy Anniversary, Baby!
Mid-20s guy: I’d give it to her from behind, that’s how I’d give it to her. Yeah. (long pause) While homeless people watch.
St. Paul, State Capitol
Overheard by a.lil. -
He’s Saving The Best Romance For Later
Drunk guy: You know, you’re cute for a blonde. And I don’t like blondes.
Blonde girl: Hm, thanks.
Drunk guy: (stares at blonde girl for a second with grin on face) Soooo, do you want to fuck? After I go to the bathroom?Minneapolis, First Ave, Lily Allen concert
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Don’t Let This One Go
Middle-aged black man on his cell phone: You mean to tell me, that you fuckin’ my ho? (pause) She comin’ well? (pause) In yo’ room?! (pause) Payin’ yo’ RENT?! WOOOOooooo.
6U Northbound
Overheard by ak. -
How About We Let The Cat Decide
40 something business man on cell phone in slice line: You just let ME fuck that cat.
Minneapolis, Pizza Luce Downtown
Overheard by Slicetro. -
Give Me Just One Night Off
Early 20-something girl to mid-20′s guy: Whatever! Go suck a dick! I’m tired…
Minneapolis, Barfly
Overheard by jenc17. -
That’s Not Quite Right
Drunk bro to another bro: Dude, I hope there’s some hot chicks here tonight, I want to put my wiener on one.
St. Paul, Wild Onion men’s bathroom
Overheard by Keep it in your pants. -
Let’s Start With The List Of Things You Can Do
Woman, to man: Look, I simply cannot–cannot–suck your cock.
St. Paul, Metro State University
Overheard by sxoidmal.
