The One With The Cartoon Cat, Right?

Girl #1: That totally rocks the casbah!
Girl #2: The what? That’s not a word.
Girl #1: Yes it is! You know, from that song.
Girl #2: No, you’re thinking of a different word. That’s not the right word. You made that up.
Guy: Isn’t that a Paula Abdul song?

Minneapolis, Downtown Lightrail station
Overheard by Not sure about that one.

And You Don’t Have To Wear Nice Clothes

PseudoMarxist #1: I’ve tried religion, but I prefer opium.
PseudoMarxist #2: Plus, that’s cheaper.

Minneapolis, on the bus
Overheard by How expensive is your church?

Less VH1, More Discovery Channel

Skinny Girl #1: I’d rather be cancerous than be fat!
Skinny Girl #2: Yeah, me too. You can survive from cancer but when you’re fat, you’re fat forever!

Wayzata, Lunds Grocery Store
Overheard by I disagree with you there.

I Can Only Think Of Four

Guy: Name five ways a human is better than a chicken. You can’t do it!

Northfield, a pious college on a hill
Overheard by apparently the equivalent of a chicken.

Aim High

Little boy: My feet hurt.
Mom: Wait ’til you’re fat and old, then we’ll talk.

West St. Paul, Target
Overheard by DB.

Now I Just Have To Work On My Body

Freshman guy: You’d be surprised; my pants are surprisingly flexible.

Roseville, Northwestern College
Overheard by All that Yoga’s finally paid off.

Or That I Had A Twin

Middle aged woman to coworker: I’m such a procrastinator I forgot my own twin’s birthday!

Brooklyn Park, Bullseye Cubefarm
Overheard by I hate the elevator.

How Did They Get It To Fit?

Bar Girl #1: We should, like, totally go walk around Stillwater sometime!
Bar Girl #2: Is that in Minnesota?
Bar Girl #1: No, Hudson.

Minneapolis, Il Gato
Overheard by TequilaCuresACold.

Sounds Like A DIY Project

Guy talking to friends, sounding offended: I don’t know where to get hairy underwear!

New Hope, Cooper High School

I Read That In A Medical Journal Once

Young girl to friend: So, after you been with a man and you’re used to your discharge looking one way, and then it’s another way. That’s when you know somethin’ ain’t right.

Minneapolis, on the bus
Overheard by Human Nature.

New CPR Techniques

Girl to Bro: So I told her, “Excuse me?! I’ve been a lifeguard! I’ve had to go from ‘Chugga-chugga-choo-choo,’ to ‘Chugga-chugga-boom-boom!’”

Saint Paul, Brady Hall
Overheard by What does that even mean?!

But Sometimes Not As Easy To Translate

Senior citizen explaining newly learned technology to friends: Texting is like sending a telegraph over your phone.

St. Paul, Casa Vieja
Overheard by Weierd.

Good Question

Chick #1: I really like him. A lot. But I’m getting bored with just going over there and “hanging out”. I want more.
Chick #2: Sounds like a booty call without sex. What’s the point?

Minneapolis, The Independent

I Think We Know How They Broke

Freshmen Girl: Yeah, my glasses broke over break so now they’re super bent, but it’s okay because tomorrow I’m going to the… obs… te… trician?
Freshmen Guy: Optometrist?
Freshmen Girl: Yeah! I don’t know what I just said.
Freshmen Guy: Yeah.

Minneapolis, U of M Campus Connector
Overheard by you put your glasses WHERE??

It’s Worse Than Learning The Tooth Fairy Doesn’t Exist

Kid looking at ice sculptures of dinosaurs, angrily: DINOSAURS ARE EXTINCT!!!!!!!

St. Paul, Rice Park, Winter Carnival
Overheard by amused.

You Still Have To Pay For It

Customer consuming blueberry pancakes: This is a meal fit for Obama!

Minneapolis (Dinkytown), Al’s Breakfast
Overheard by Secret Service Nightmare.

Everyone Under 15

One elderly man to an equally elderly man looking at their shoes: Is it from the Buckle? Doesn’t everybody buy shit at the Buckle?

Minnetonka, Dick’s Sporting Goods
Overheard by Yes, everyone buys shit at the Buckle.

And Take All The Toilet Paper

Cubicle Mate: So, no raises, no bonus.
Cubicle Manager: Yeah, I guess.
Cubicle Mate: Well, in that case, I’m just going to use the free hot cocoa in the break room as a meal replacement system.

Edina, cubicle farm water cooler
Overheard by Does our insurance cover hip replacements?

How Long Do I Have To Hold Them Up?

High school work-study student to work-study coordinator: I’m tellin’ you, my pants is up!

Minneapolis, child care center
Overheard by lmb.

Those Annual Events Keep Coming Back

Customer, entering bar, to bartender: Hey, would it be possible to watch the State of the Union in here?
Bartender: There’s another one?

Minneapolis, Sauce Spirits and Soundbar
Overheard by smoothd.