14 year old: Dude, have you seen the new Batman movie?
Friend: Yeah, on Friday.
14 year old: You loser! (pauses) Was it awesome?
Friend: Yes.

Lakeville Theatre

Girl to friends: I always win though… and it’s pretty easy. I just hit him until he takes it off.

Lake Street Extension
Overheard by disturbed onlooker.

Crowd of teenage girls galloping forward with sticks and fists in the air: FOR NARNIA!!!!

Hopkins High School
Overheard by who knew early morning cross country practice could be this much fun?

Elementary school girl to sister:  Have you ever sat on really hot bleachers?  If so, try my new Anus Sack!  Just add ice to the pouch and sit for instant cooling!  I also attached some silverware, some scissors, some glue, some oats, some floss, some tapioca pudding, a pack of flashcards, a pencil, and some Children’s Motrin. You know… just in case.

Minnetonka Mills Dunn Bros.
Overheard by i’d buy that.

Girl #1: I want her face.
Girl #2: I want her boobs!
Girl #3: I want her CROTCH!
Girls #1 and 2: No, I want the crotch!!
Girl #3 (solemnly): Alright.  We’ll have to split the crotch three ways.

Minnetonka neighborhood
Overheard by hmm…

Drunk man: Holy Jesus on methamphetamine!  My secret is… hmm… I wet myself.  (Giggles)  All over; very messy.  No survivors.

Target
Overheard by Momo.

Very drunk and trendy girl, slurring to her two friends who were previously helping her stand: No, I work for the fire department, you guys, we’re getting a ride back on that! (Points to the fire truck in the road and starts to stagger towards it)

Block E
Overheard by Shannon.

Girl holding a PBR tallboy in one hand and a cigarette in the other: Other than drinking and smoking, I’m pretty much straightedge.

Bastille Day
Overheard by Other than the heroin… me too.

Mother talking to Stylist: Yes, it was just so gnarly.
Mortified Daughter: Mom! Don’t EVER use that word again.  PLEASE!
Mother, confused: What?? Gnarly?
Even more Mortified Daughter: YES!! Please! Just don’t say it EVER again, okay?
(Mother shrugs shoulders)
Stylist: Don’t be mean to your mother!

Uptown Salon SaBel
Overheard by Snicker.

Incredibly angry young woman: You wrote right here that my room number is 149! I walked all the way down the hall and back and you ain’t got no 149!
Incredibly patient front desk man: Ma’am, that’s your rate, your room number is right below your key.

Depot Minneapolis
Overheard by and when was the last time you went to a hotel?

Guy to girlfriend: This place is douchebag central.

Crate & Barrel, Galleria
Overheard by Not a d-bag.

Farmer’s market attendee, inspecting tomatoes: What varieties do you have?
Vendor: DELICIOUS!

St. Paul Farmer’s Market
Overheard by I’ll have what she’s having.

Woman: I eat a lot of butter; that’s my other problem.

4th & Portland, Minneapolis
Overheard by What’s the first problem?

Woman on cell phone: Okay kiddo, I’m coming around by the peanuts now!

the ALMONDS stand outside the Metrodome
Overheard by Twins games are the best place to see and hear things.

5 year old girl walking with her sister: I do not like flip-flops. They give me bumps in between my toes and they make me trip a lot.

Southdale Mall parking lot, Edina MN
Overheard by she’s kind of got a point.

Twins Announcer: It’s Justin Morneau.
Fan Seated In Row Behind: He won the Olympics!

Metrodome
Overheard by he did especially well in figure skating.

Girl in personal products aisle (to no one in particular): I’m so glad I don’t have a penis.

Ridgedale Target
Overheard by well i think they’re great!

Scantly clad college-age girl: Well, I won’t have a tent, so… I’ll have to find someone’s tent to sleep in. [brief pause] Well, not like that! [embarrassed laugh]

22nd & S Bryant Ave
Overheard by Concerned neighbors…

Girl #1: So, which do you want to get? Mild or medium?
Girl #2: Mild is the hotter one, right?

Rainbow Foods, Uptown
Overheard by wow.

Guy smoking outside Tony Jaro’s to another: You don’t need a thirty aught six rifle to do that. You could do that with a .45.

Tony Jaros’ River Garden, Nordeast Minneapolis
Overheard by greenie queenie.