Mom #1: How is Timmy’s [unknown sport] going? Will he be a high draft pick?
Mom #2: If he keeps only giving up two or three goals a game, he is going to get drafted really high.

Apple Valley Walmart
Overheard by Hockey? Soccer? Lacrosse?  The kid is terrible either way.

5 year old kid to his little friend, after throwing a coin in the wishing fountain: I wished for JESUS to come alive!

Minnesota Zoo
Overheard by Yvette.

Guy, while looking at a very shaggy camel shedding its winter coat in clumps: That looks like the upholstery in my Corsica!

The Minnesota Zoo
Overheard by mplsape.

Ditsy Blonde Girl: Oh, look that baby camel doesn’t have its humps.
Meat Head Boyfriend: It took you a while to get yours.

Minnesota Zoo
Overheard by Well thats nice.

Mother to daughter: I wanted to like yogurt growing up, but I hated it. I just kept trying to like it, but I had to eat it over the toilet because I just kept puking it up.

Rainbow Foods, Apple Valley, MN
Overheard by Melissa.

Annoying drunk girl behind me talking to her friend: So, then she took off all her clothes and I grabbed her boob! Oh, by the way this is his girlfriend!

Bogarts in Apple Valley
Overheard by Curios as to what happened at the beginning of this story.

Girl: I don’t get it.
Guy: It’s a menu.
Girl: Like, totally, but there are just so many things to choose from. I just don’t get it.

Panino Brothers/Apple Valley, MN
Overheard by Not drunk enough for this shit.

12 year old boy: It’d be much cooler if the dolphin would jump through a ring of fire.

MN Zoo
Overheard by It’s  the zoo, not the circus.

Little Kid: Where’s daddy?
Frustrated Mom: He’s sitting down in front because he doesn’t know how to listen or follow the rules.

MN Zoo
Overheard by HA! Awesome.

Morbidly obese woman to her equally morbidly obese teenage daughter: I’m not buying you dippin’ dots here, I’ll buy you a whole gallon of them on the way home. They sell them at the grocery store now.

Minnesota Zoo
Overheard by philsy.

Crying child: But I want to see the monkeys again!
Mother: Maybe you should have thought of that before you peed your pants!

Parking lot of Minnesota Zoo
Overheard by MT.

Black woman on cell phone: No speek-a englees, no speek-a englees! (pause) You heard me, bitch! I don’t speak English.

Apple Valley Target
Overheard by no comprende.

Child whining loudly: I wanna sit doooowwwnnn!!!
Mom: You ARE sitting down.

Minnesota Zoo
Overheard by The children definately outnumber us here.

20’s something mother: Honey, go in there and try to go potty.
3 year old boy to mom: Mommy, can’t I come in with you?
20’s something mother: No honey, mommy has to poop and she needs her privacy to do that.
Loud sounds of intense gastric relief follow…

Women’s restoom at the Galaxie Library in Apple Valley
Overheard by your mom.

Man walking out of the dolphin show: That show sucked! Half way through I wanted to stand up and yell ‘Hey! Shut your pie hole, and show us some tricks!’

Discovery Bay at the Minnesota Zoo
Overheard by Your Mom.

Mother to young girl as they look at a moose chewing its cud: Do you think he’s eating an Easter egg?

Minnesota Zoo, by the Mooses
Overheard by Your Mom.

Drunk Girl Dancing: (after dancing and making out with Drunk Dude for 2 hours) SO… do you even know my name?
Drunk Dude Dancing: Actually. No.
Drunk Girl Dancing: Oh. Well I guess that’s okay. (and they go back to making out)

Bogart’s in Apple Valley
Overheard by Where is the self respect?

A child is crying and screaming somewhere.
Vicious Woman: That child needs to die.

Apple Valley Target
Overheard by Mysterious Employee.

Early 30s woman to husband: I want to see a prairie dog poop. I want to see if it gets into the arch.

Northern Trail, MN Zoo
Overheard by your mom.

Mom to young daughter: Look at the big fish.

Dolphin tank at MN Zoo
Overheard by C & J.