4 year old son, whining: But Dad…
Dad: No, no one is going to rob Target.

Apple Valley, Target
Overheard by Don’t think I don’t want to.

Little girl: I want a candy bar.
Her mom: No.
Little girl: Fine, if I don’t get one I’ll shit in your car!

Apple Valley, Target

Wife interrupting her husband while he was suggesting a gift idea: NO, NO, you’re being stupid!

Apple Valley, Target
Overheard by TheirTwoChildren.

Out-of-towner: So, is T-Paw better than that wrestler?
Minnesotan: No. Not at all.

Apple Valley, MN Zoo

Dad: Okay, kiddo, we have to go get an anniversary card now.
Son: Why do I need an anniversary card? I’m ONLY ten.

Apple Valley, Target
Overheard by He’s got a point…

Son: Beat it, Michael Jackson!
Father: If you ever say that to me again you’re going to an orphanage.

Apple Valley, MN Zoo

Dad to 6 year old son: I got a busy night tonight. See all these shells? I gotta put them in my shotgun.

Apple Valley, Walmart
Overheard by Tara.

Angry 20-something woman: Grandma needs to shut the hell up!

Apple Valley, MN Zoo, walking out to see the farm babies
Overheard by your mom.

14-year-old boy: DUDE!  DUDE! Greatest idea ever. Polly Pocket, firecracker, rubber band!  BOOM! Seriously, my sister has like a million of them!

Apple Valley, Valley Middle
Overheard by kabluey!

Girl, to friend: Getting mauled by a bear is the second worst way to die.

Apple Valley, Walgreens
Overheard by what’s the worst way then?

8 year-old boy, speaking matter-of-factly to his mother: Hey mom?  I know you said don’t pee in the trash can, but I think I’m going to pee in the trash can.

Apple Valley, Jo-Ann Fabrics
Overheard by JustDon’tMiss.

Teenage male wearing dark clothes and black eye liner:  I’m the coolest goth in Minnesota.

Apple Valley, Cub Foods
Overheard by the third or fourth coolest goth.

Exasperated 3-year old girl: Come ON mom, you’re wasting my time!

Apple Valley, Minnesota Zoo, bird exhibit
Overheard by Time is valuable when you’re three.

Little 6-yr-old blond boy, walking away from tiger exhibit: Boy, I sure am hungry.
Dad:  We brought snacks.
Boy:  Well, what kind of snacks do you got in that backpack?
Dad:  Lots of snacks.
Boy:  What kind of snacks?
Dad:  What kind of snacks would you like?
Boy:  I want ice cream.  You got any ice cream in that backpack?
Dad:  No.
Boy:  Well, why not?  How come you didn’t bring any ice cream in your backpack?
Dad, under his breath:  Because I knew you’d want some.

Apple Valley, Minnesota Zoo
Overheard by Amber.

Guy: Well, you guys could save up your money and buy me a watch. How does that sound, do you want to do that?
Kid #1: Maybe for your birthday, or father’s day, or something like that.
Kid #2: He’s not our father!!

Apple Valley, Kohl’s
Overheard by me.

Drunk 40 year old dude #1, standing in line for the bathroom: Well, there are 4 sinks. We only need 2 with the number of people I’ve seen wash their hands.
Drunk 40 year old dude #2: Yeah. There was this one time I was peeing in the sink at home, and my wife walked in. She was pissed. Good times.

Minnesota Zoo – Music In the Zoo
Overheard by slight overshare.

20 something woman with baby in stroller, at exhibit with animal cutouts that say EXTINCT: So… are the animals in there or what?

Minnesota Zoo
Overheard by edumacation at its best.

Mom #1: How is Timmy’s [unknown sport] going? Will he be a high draft pick?
Mom #2: If he keeps only giving up two or three goals a game, he is going to get drafted really high.

Apple Valley Walmart
Overheard by Hockey? Soccer? Lacrosse?  The kid is terrible either way.

5 year old kid to his little friend, after throwing a coin in the wishing fountain: I wished for JESUS to come alive!

Minnesota Zoo
Overheard by Yvette.

Guy, while looking at a very shaggy camel shedding its winter coat in clumps: That looks like the upholstery in my Corsica!

The Minnesota Zoo
Overheard by mplsape.