Posts Tagged ‘arden hills’
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How About Motivational Speaking?
Girl, walking quickly through hall yelling into mobile phone: I don’t know what to do with my life!!
Saint Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by aeh. -
And You’re, Like, A Complete Idiot
Really overly excited ditzy blonde college girl to friend voting for Obama: You can’t, like, vote for Obama! He is, like, a Muslim and doesn’t, like, support our troops.
St Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by will someone shoot me please. -
The Disappointments Don’t End There
Prissy-looking freshman girl: I shouldn’t have to carry my own stuff.
St.Paul, Bethel University, getting off Target shuttle
Overheard by oh please let me help you! -
That’ll Cost Double
College girl, freaking out to friends: So, the maintenance man jumped in and fished it out for me!
Saint Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by a.lil. -
For Now
Post-lunch guy to friend: Is he still in that long distance marriage thing?
Saint Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by aeh. -
There Are Other Places You Can Look
Girl #1, sitting on couch to her friend: I hate it when people sit on chairs that are facing me. It’s irritating.
Girl #2: Yeah, I hate it too. There are other places they can sit.St Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by girl sitting on chair facing you. -
Those Were The Days
College girl #1: Well, smoking is a natural laxative.
College girl #2: So, that’s why we lose weight when we do it.
College girl #1: Yeah, ’cause we smoke when we’re stressed instead of eat!
College girl #2: Yeah! And I mean we’re all gonna die from something anyway sooo…
College girl #1: So, get rid of the cholesterol and obesity and bring on the lung cancer!
College girl #2 (yelling excitedly): Hell yeah! Bring on the lung cancer! (the girls high five)St Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by yeah…bring on the lung cancer… -
A Humorous Story For The Ages
International Relations Prof: It was as comical as you can get with a political assassination!
St Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by a.lil. -
I’m Giving Up!
Girl #1, coming out of class: Washington DC. That is District of Columbia, right?
Girl #2: I don’t know!
Girl #1: I don’t know EITHER!Saint Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by aeh. -
Didn’t You Want To Know That?
College girl: Oh my god, you guys… my tampon seriously just fell out! Like, I went to wipe and it just fell out!
Saint Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by m.jo. -
Then It Must Have Been Serious
College girl, frantically, as she runs into friend in the hall: Oh my gosh, Bri! Are you feeling ok?!
Friend, confused: Ummm… yeah. Why?
College girl: I saw on your Facebook status that you weren’t feeling well and it worried me!St. Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by a.lil. -
It’s Okay, They’re Gone Now
20-something college girl to friend (in a fake dorky voice): Drive safe! It’s a zoo out there! Elephants everywhere! (pause and in a normal voice) Wow, I didn’t even mean for that to be a pun!
St. Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by m.jo. -
Isn’t Everyone?
Guy with lazy eye and chronic snorting problem: I’m just here to look good.
St. Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by well… you’re doing a great job of that. -
Stupid Children’s Books!
Grandmother in children’s book section: How about this one?
Young Mother: That book irritates me; the tiger in it is so cocky.
Grandmother: Yeah, it kind of is.
Young Mother: I mean, what’s up with how his spots get bigger throughout the whole book? And he gets bigger too! It’s like they’re showing us how cocky he’s getting. I hate that tiger!
Other woman with them: Um, if he has spots he’s a cheetah.
Young Mother: I don’t give a damn what he is! He’s cocky!Arden Hills, Target
Overheard by a.lil. -
Nothing About This Is Right
College guy: By the way, your cat shit in my car.
Girlfriend: No way! That one night?
Guy: Yeah, dude.
Girlfriend: Well, it wasn’t my fault you brought it to the bar. Did you clean it up?
Guy: With my tongue.Bethel University Dorms
Overheard by a.lil. -
Just Do It And Stop Talking About It
Ditzy college girl in line for food: Dude, they like would only give me one hashbrown last time.
Friend: No way! I want two hashbrowns.
Ditz: I know right? But I guess they like can’t give you more than one.
Friend: Seriously? Whatever, I totally want two.
Ditz: Yeah!
Friend: So, they won’t give you two?
Ditz: No, no more than one.
Friend: Whatever, I’m gonna ask for two.Bethel University
Overheard by a.lil. -
OIM PSA
Bethel student to girlfriend: I’m not saying the guy dipped the knife in a vat of AIDS or cut himself with it before he cut me, but he could have!
Girlfriend hits guy: You should have told me that earlier.
Bethel student: Well, if I have AIDS, then you have AIDS, and we can have AIDS together!Bethel University Dorms
Overheard by a.lil. -
Is That Like Hurt That Doesn’t Really Hurt?
Drunk girl: I don’t have herpes but I have, um, some Minnesotan hurt, you know, it’s not herpes. God damn, god damn. My tummy hurts. Just let us know who was there, all right? God damn. Stop typing, dammit. Ow, my tummy hurts!
Bethel University
Overheard by a.lil. -
Taking Recycling Too Far
College girl to friend while listening to the song “Hang Me Out to Dry”: Dude, I just pictured my tampon singing this song!
Bethel University
Overheard by a.lil. -
There’s A “Bang Bang!” Joke In There
College guy to girl: I’m gonna shoot you! *pause* With love.
College girl (enthusiastically): That’s the best kinda shootin’ ever!Bethel University
Overheard by a.lil.
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