Man #1: Did you get the grill?
Man #2:  What?
Man #1:  (pause)
Man #2:  Are you talking to me?
Man #1:  Is it in your trunk?
Man #3:  I think he’s bluetoothing.
Man #2:  Worst invention ever.  All it does it make people look like they’re crazy, talking to themselves.

St. Paul office
Overheard by LB.

Boss: My goodness, that woman’s three years older than God!

U of M office
Overheard by Diligent Employee.

Spunky tech-guy with mega-gel-spiked hair answering his phone: Douche-bags-say-what? [brief pause] What?

Office building, Warehouse district
Overheard by you sure got him.

Boss to employee: What was I thinking of in the shower this morning?

Office in Eden Prairie
Overheard by It may have been a great idea, but right now it’s just scandalous.

Boss: Oh, he committed suicide? Great! I’m going to go home and drink a toast to that! Another reason to shoot off a firecracker!

Office in Minneapolis
Overheard by wow…just…wow.

Call center girl to coworker who just hung up from a call with a client: Did he tell you he was going to come over here and rub one off?

The Office in Lakeville
Overheard by Keep him away from my potato salad.

Co-worker #1: Our courageous leader tells me our people have fallen on hard times and though the metaphorical rain may fall, our perseverance will prevail and triumph will soon be ours.
Co-worker #2: Weird, dude.  Hey, wanna order Jimmy Johns with me?

Eden Prairie cube farm
Overheard by co-worker 3.

Coworker #1 at 2nd job: I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.
Coworker #2: Which one?
Coworker #1: I didn’t specify, now did I?

warehouse district office
Overheard by If I had two jobs, I might say that too.

Tiny intern girl to not-tiny intern girl: They have Fresca! Fresca is old school right?
Not-tiny intern girl: Oh my god, Fresca is totally old school!
Tiny intern girl: Yeah, it totally is! Hey, do you remember Surge?

Breakroom, Northstar Building, DT MPLS
Overheard by stop making me feel old at 25 dammit!

Coworker: Yeah, ’cause I just LOVE watching American movies in Chinese. (laughs in enjoyment) Yeah, its awesome.

Cube neighbor Eden Prairie
Overheard by Giggling.

Man on cellphone: Well, I was going to have my grandma make me one,  but then I divorced her grand-daughter so she never got around to it.

Wayzata Office Building
Overheard by that’ll do it.

Matronly cube neighbor: A lot of boys don’t get braces. Tell your son from me, the guys who get braces are hunks.

694 and 94, Maple Grove
Overheard by Hunks?

Receptionist to Executive Assistant: …so in conclusion, I got peed on… by a taxi driver… who I dated.

Downtown Ad Agency

Director of Human Resources: It’s too bad I can’t bring my swimsuit to work and layout on the rooftop during my lunch.
Co-worker: Yeah. Probably not a good idea for the head of HR to be half naked.
Director of Human Resources: Yeah.  I’d probably get a Whistle Blower card turned in on me to me.
Co-Worker: Awkward.

Downtown Ad Agency

Coworker #1 about Coworker #2: Married man smelling good, that’s not right. (pause) Something’s going on.

Office, Minneapolis warehouse district
Overheard by That cologne doesn’t smell good, so there’s no danger.

Woman: So, we didn’t check the restaurants to see if they had a dress code, so we couldn’t eat anywhere because you had to wear pants.

Cube farm, City Center
Overheard by sxoidmal.

Summer intern/Soon-to-be College Senior on the phone with the IT helpdesk: I just unmounted my computer and it isn’t behaving.

Fortune 500 highrise in downtown Minneapolis
Overheard by 35 and afraid for our future.

Female co-worker: Once you’ve had Sonic… mmmmm!!

Office in Coon Rapids
Overheard by Wow, get out more.

Ten year old boy to forty year old grandma: What’s the biggest animal in the world?
Grandma: I don’t know. What?
Boy: You have to guess.
Grandma: I don’t know. A gorilla.
Boy: No! It lives in the ocean.
Grandma: I don’t know what lives in the ocean.
Boy: A blue whale.
Grandma: Oh. How big is it?
Boy: Bigger than this building. I thought you were gonna say elephant. That’s what everyone else thinks.
Grandma: I thought maybe elephant. I don’t know. King Kong be huge.

Counselor’s office in an Anoka office building
Overheard by What about No Grandmas left behind?

Ditzy blonde twenty-something:  I’m so annoyed of this day.

An office in Coon Rapids
Overheard by Nice use of prepositions.