Redneck lady in the next department, talking about My Big Fat Redneck Wedding: I cried. I actually cried at that episode. She got to get married at the racetrack, and I don’t. It’s not fair.

Minneapolis, Qwest
Overheard by Your Mom’s Best Friend.

Middle aged woman to coworker: I’m such a procrastinator I forgot my own twin’s birthday!

Brooklyn Park, Bullseye Cubefarm
Overheard by I hate the elevator.

Cubicle Mate: So, no raises, no bonus.
Cubicle Manager: Yeah, I guess.
Cubicle Mate: Well, in that case, I’m just going to use the free hot cocoa in the break room as a meal replacement system.

Edina, cubicle farm water cooler
Overheard by Does our insurance cover hip replacements?

High school work-study student to work-study coordinator: I’m tellin’ you, my pants is up!

Minneapolis, child care center
Overheard by lmb.

Coworker #1: Come on, Cookie Monster isn’t even allowed to eat cookies anymore! He eats vegetables.
Coworker #2: Nah-uh. Has he lost any weight?!

Brooklyn Park, Bullseye Cubeland
Overheard by Just listening.

Married female co-worker to group of other married female co-workers: Do you know how many women love tall, skinny men?!

Eden Prairie, cube zoo
Overheard by The unmarried tall, skinny man in the corner.

Crabby customer: Why is the carwash closed? I drove all the way from Edina to get my car washed!! It’s 28 degrees out, that’s not below freezing!!
Patient coworker: Ma’am, 28 degrees IS below freezing, unless you happen to be European and slightly confused.
Crabby customer: I’m AMERICAN and I want my X5 washed, NOW!

Bloomington, Car dealership
Overheard by God bless ‘Merica.

Coworker #1: Let’s not worry about going to jail in Japan right now. Let’s just focus on the big picture.
Coworker #2: Yeah. Besides, it’s not like going to jail in Paraguay.

Minnetonka, At work
Overheard by Hoping they’ve got a third option.

Coworker #1 to Coworker #2: So, what happened in Haiti? Did a volcano erupt or something?

Bloomington, Random Office Building
Overheard by I was told there would be bacon.

Giggly coworker: I had a tumor on my finger.
Guy in next cube: Was it a brain tumor?

Minneapolis, Cube Land
Overheard by Walking by.

Co-worker #1: Uh-oh, I’m bleeding someplace.
Co-worker #2: Are you serious?
Co-worker #1: Yeah, I’m bleeding someplace.
Co-worker #2: Oh, in the head!
Co-worker #3: Maybe it’s from the bird.

Minneapolis, my office
Overheard by supertoyz.

Female coworker: Hey, do we have wireless internet?
Male coworker: We sure do.
Female coworker: Where is it?
Male coworker, putting on spooky voice and gesturing with arms in air: All arouuuund us.

Anoka, office
Overheard by Glad I’m not the IT guy!

Office worker: Well, maybe your dad’s going into the bathroom and your mom thinks that he’s peeing but he’s really just reading the newspaper.

Saint Paul, office
Overheard by I just process the numbers.

Coworker to my boss, who wore sweatpants, a sweatshirt and UGG boots to work: Were you snowed out of your closet?

Minneapolis, at work
Overheard by KD.

Mother of a college student: You can’t kill a sick child. You have to wait until they’re well before you kill them.

Spring Lake Park, jobville
Overheard by That’s why I don’t lie to my parents.

35-year old male co-worker: I want to make this very clear. You people are not my family. You are all too ugly to be my offspring.

Chanhassen, office
Overheard by Plant in chair.

Coworker #1: Freak.
Coworker #2: There is nothing wrong with freaks.
Coworker #1: And it’s ok to be gay. Yep, I went there.

Shoreview, office building
Overheard by That’s the spirit.

Chatty co-worker a few cubicles down: I seriously would’ve been, like, seriously? Seriously!

Minneapolis, at the office
Overheard by SRSLY.

Male co-worker to female co-worker, discussing his unitard and Snuggie costume: My rolls stay in the bakery. No one wants to see that.

Minneapolis, the bakery…er, cube behind me
Overheard by A non-baked goods fan.

Coworker: Where are you going?
Boss, as she steps outside: I have to fart.

Minneapolis, in the office
Overheard by thanks for being considerate I guess.