Older guy who just became a grandparent for the first time, to other older guy:  I don’t mind being a grandpa, but I don’t like going to bed with a grandma every night.

Roseville, Work
Overheard by Potential Grandma.

Guy reacting to an error message on his computer: “The necessary data was deleted”?!? But it was NECESSARY!

Lakeville, The office
Overheard by Jeremy Q. Afterglide.

Girl talking to a group of coworkers: If I even see a scab on any of you, watch out because I will come after you and I will pick it.

Bloomington, Office
Overheard by I can’t believe she said that loud enough for others to hear in the office.

Really good looking female colleague: HMMMM… I Love Sausage! I really do!

Minneapolis, Work
Overheard by old and worn.

Middle-aged woman, talking about her son: He’s reached the three potato age.

Eden Prairie, Office building
Overheard by That’s old?

Male coworker: When I was growing up I wanted to be a male doctor.
Female coworker: Male doctor? You’re a guy, of COURSE you’d be a male doctor.
Male coworker: No, like doctor for males, like a urologist or a proctologist.
Female coworker: Yeah, it’s pretty bad when you’ve got something in your butt.

Lakeville, The Office
Overheard by Male computer programmer.

30-something woman:  Yeah, I might be old enough to be your mom.
20-something woman: No, really?
30-something woman:  Sure, in a Bristol Palin sort of way.

Downtown Minneapolis, Shiny Skyscraper
Overheard by Old enough to know better.

Muttering coworker (referring to Overheard in Minneapolis): I wish I could Overheard myself.

Lakeville, The Office
Overheard by King Skidz.

Line cook #1: Are you gonna turn the grill on?
Line cook #2: Yeah, when do you need it?
Line cook #1: I could have used the grill, like, 30 minutes ago.
Line cook #2: Well, then fast forward time back and do it.

Minneapolis, work
Overheard by the intern jacked up on espresso.

Asshole Coworker: I don’t tip delivery drivers because they’re from companies that charge a delivery fee.  I’m already paying extra, why should I have to tip them?
Stunned Coworker: You are a cheap bastard!  Those drivers depend on tips for a living!
Asshole Coworker: They make a living wage, why should I feel bad for not tipping them?  If they make minimum wage, that’s over $13,000 a year.  Get a couple roommates and that’s definitely livable.
Stunned Coworker: WHAT?  They don’t make minimum wage, and they depend on tips to make up the difference.
Asshole Coworker: Okay, but really, what is $2.00 from me going to do for them?
Stunned Coworker: Again, you are such a cheap bastard.

Eden Prairie, Office
Overheard by Man that dude is cheap.

Boss: I’m gonna get cocoa. F*CK! There is NO COCOA!!!! God dammit!

Minneapolis, 801 Marquette
Overheard by Subordinate.

Woman pouring coffee on her cup: Drinking decaf is like kissing your brother; it’s just not worth it.

Edina, Lunch room at a large corporation
Overheard by I think I’ll have a toast today.

Woman in office: Stop rubbing against each other! (exits office, walking down hallway) There’s enough friction in there to start a forest fire.

Minneapolis, Downtown
Overheard by JfA.

Construction worker #1: The only time I know you’re not talking is when you’re smoking or pooping.
Construction worker #2: How do you know I’m not talking when I’m pooping?

Minneapolis, Xcel Power Plant Construction Site
Overheard by heard you in the porta-potty.

Woman: You know, these Indian guys come in here demanding this and that and you can’t understand a damn word they’re saying. It’s like, “Speak Minnesotan”.

Minneapolis,  Small office
Overheard by Just that simple.

Woman #1: Where are you getting married?
Woman #2: The church I grew up with, in Eden Prairie.
Woman #1: Cool. Is that a Catholic church?
Woman #2: Um, I don’t know. Lutheran maybe? I guess I’m not really sure.

St. Paul, Internet Broadcasting
Overheard by You… grew up with them? And you missed that detail?

One worker talking over her cube to another: Squashed monkeys are awesome.

Golden Valley, Cubicle forest just like any other
Overheard by Damned, dirty apes.

New client to case manager: I’m not the meek, doting mom that I was when I was a crackhead.  I got a lot of experience; I used to run a call center.
Case manager: For telemarketing?
Everyone in room (emphatically):  No.
New Client:  I ran a whorehouse.
Case Manager:  Ah… I don’t think we can put that on a resume.

An office complex in Minneapolis
Overheard by Miracle Worker.

Customer Service Girl: I think I burned my face.

The Office in Lakeville
Overheard by You’re not sure?

President of the company says to his male co-worker: So, does that affect your bowel movements?

901 Marquette Avenue South (formerly the 225 S. 6th street crew!)
Overheard by Sometimes I wish I just didn’t pay attention to people.