Male Walmart employee, to female co-worker: Come on, what’s your problem?  Smile!  (smiles at her)
Female co-worker: I can’t smile.  I work HERE.

Walmart Austin MN
Overheard by: a.lil

Little kid in bathroom stall, to his mom: Mommy, is it the button on the side here to flush?
Mother, in stall next to him: Yes, honey.
Little kid: (long pause)  But I’m scared.
Mother, reassuringly: It’s a brand new toilet honey, you don’t need to be scared.

New Walmart, Austin MN
Overheard by …but you should be scared of the old toilets.