Posts Tagged ‘bars’
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Someone Should Recheck Their IDs
Douchie yuppie wannabe #1: She hit me in the balls so I pulled her skirt over her head!
Douchie yuppie wannabe #2: Sounds fair.Minneapolis, The Local
Overheard by having dinner with the fam 2 feet away. -
Which Is Why They Can’t Put It On The Menu
Patron: Do you have a dessert menu?
Server: Uh… yeah… it’s oral.Minneapolis, King’s Wine Bar
Overheard by Ed. -
He Had Me At Shit
Drunk Guy #1: What should we do for the rest of the night!?
Drunk Guy #2: I might just go to a movie.
Drunk Guy #1: Yeah, well, I might just shit my pants and throw my boxers in the trash can.Minneapolis, VFW on Lyndale
Overheard by Amber. -
Tequila And Taco Bell Do Not Mix Well
One sluttily dressed girl to another, 3 yards away, above a blaring jukebox: Oh man, I had some really raunchy farts last night.
Coon Rapids, Lindee’s Bar
Overheard by thanks for sharing. really. -
But I Can Get It So Cheap
Goth 35 year old in denial: You really shouldn’t smoke so much pot this Thanksgiving.
Minneapolis, Fine Line Music Cafe
Overheard by and i thought it was the tryptophan. -
I’m Stealing This
Old guy at the ATM, to no one in particular: I’m so horny the crack of dawn is nervous.
Shoreview, Meisters Bar & Grill
Overheard by Hoping to not be there at the crack of dawn. -
That’s The Last Time I Fall Asleep First At A Party
Bar-goer to friends at table: So, I was in this Japanese locker room…
Minneapolis, 331 Club
Overheard by aeh. -
When Will Life Cut These Guys A Break?
Drunk Young Corporate Dude #1: How come real-life lesbians are never as hot as they are in movies?
Drunk Young Corporate Dude #2: Yeah, like, my girlfriend hangs out with good looking gay dudes all the time, and I am totally cool with it. Shouldn’t I get to hang out with hot lesbians?Minneapolis, Brit’s Pub
Overheard by Bartender. -
Check Costco
College girl to friend: I’m looking for some new lube.
Friend: What do you like?
College girl: Something large with a hand pump.Minneapolis, Town Hall Brewery
Overheard by Ed. -
Send Us A Postcard
40-ish wannabe hipster: I am so overqualified for my job. I mean, look at me. I am so intelligent.
Hipster’s friend: What about Stacy? Doesn’t she want to get married?
40-ish wannabe hipster: I know! I just want to be an international rock star and tour Europe and shit!Minneapolis, The Independent
Overheard by Couldn’t wait to get home and write this down. -
Why Wasn’t I Invited?
One dumb valley girl to another: So, he decided to have a burrito party in the back of my Lexus.
NE Minneapolis, Moose on Monroe Parking Lot
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I’ve Almost Got It Down!
Burly man, grabbing a woman’s butt while she exits the bathroom: C’mon hon, we gotta get home and practice some foreplay!
Minneapolis, Grumpy’s
Overheard by JOB. -
Crop Dusting Is An Art
Cute petite blonde girl walks up to her group of friends: (laughing) I just farted all the way here from over there! (points across the bar)
St. Cloud, MC’s Dugout
Overheard by Random drunk. -
I’m On The Edge Of My Seat
Mustachioed Bartender: Okay, I’m going to tell you a little story about something known as the Tequila Sunrise!
Minneapolis, Uptown Bar
Overheard by An Invisible fiend. -
For About 24 Hours
Hungover girl: Seriously, DO NOT light your cigarette near me. There’s a good chance my sweat is 90 proof right now.
Male friend: Normal people would see that as a sign to, I don’t know, stop drinking?Minneapolis, Mayslack’s patio
Overheard by IQ=BAC. -
What Went Wrong?
Hammered Bro, table hopping, interrupting: People don’t like me because I’m always interrupting and I haven’t had a girlfriend in 7 years; can I finish my drink with you guys?
Innocent bystander: Uhh, bottoms up?
Hammered Bro, pensive, leaving: God. I used to be somebody.Downtime, Minneapolis
Overheard by He coulda been a contendah. -
Well, I Also Do What My Bartender Tells Me To Do
Girly girl: Even the bartender said I didn’t have to go to class the next day!
Minneapolis, Town Hall Brewery
Overheard by um … -
Apparently Waconia Is Backwards Land
Late 30′s lady, to Younger Girl who selected “Heart Shaped Box” by Nirvana from the jukebox: Hey! Did you pick this song?
Younger Girl: Yeah.
Late 30′s lady: I LOVE THIS SONG! It’s my favorite Guitar Hero song!Waconia, a bar
Overheard by D.R.B. … What Would Nirvana Think? -
And Snoopy Flies A World War I Plane
Guy #1: Dude, cats are smarter than dogs, just face the facts.
Guy #2: No way, man.
Guy #1: Oh yeah?!? Look at Garfield. He talks and eats lasagna.Minneapolis, Uptown Bar
Overheard by he does make a good point. -
Just Until The Liquid
CourageAsshole Wears OffDrunk guy #1, in a fight: Pull your pants up, you pansy!
Drunk guy #2: I ain’t a faggot, I’m a warrior!Minneapolis, Triple Rock, Social Club and venue
Overheard by An eager fan trying to get into the venue.
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