Man waiting outside the porta-potties, speaking to a man inside the porta-potties: Number one: Stop going number two!

Lake of the Isles
Overheard by CT.

Trendy girl: The last time I was in the bathroom here, there was blood all over the floor. I’m not even going to touch that.

Women’s bathroom line at Block E after the Sex and the City movie
Overheard by LB.

Girl in bathroom stall #1: I love 50’s fashion!
Girl in bathroom stall #2: I know! The 60’s was good too.
Girl in bathroom stall #1: Yeah, I wear a lot of, like, 70’s and 80’s.
Girl in bathroom stall #2: I wear 90’s.

ACME Comedy Club
Overheard by need to get out of here ASAP.

Lady #1 in bathroom stall Lady #2: I’m a blonde now.
Lady #2: Oh, yeah.
Lady #1: I heard blondes have more fun. I’ll let you know when the divorce is final.

Nordstroms bathroom at MOA
Overheard by Brunettes have fun too!

Girl in prom dress #1: Hey!  Have you ditched your date yet?
Girl in prom dress #2: That’s why we’re in here.  We’re working on it.

restroom at Buca’s, St Paul
Overheard by this can only end in tears.

Annoyed lady on cell phone in bathroom stall: Mmm hmmm, uh huh, mmm hmm, yep… oh before that, can you tell her to lick my ass, too?

Government Center
Overheard by I hope she’s not talking about me.

Man who just arrived at urinal to other man peeing next to him: So, what do you feel like doing tonight?

Downtown bathroom
Overheard by JfA.

Women in next stall on her cellphone: … go  into the office and ask for a pair of scissors.  And don’t tell them I had an accident and have to cut my pants off.

Ladies Bathroom in Goodwill
Overheard by ewwww.

Woman walking out of stall: I just want to say that whatever that is on the toilet seat, it was not me!

Unisex Restroom at the Independent
Overheard by wash your hands and enjoy the anonymity.

Girl in bathroom bathroom stall at Matchbox Twenty concert: Oh my God, Rob Thomas’ jeans are as tight as mine!

Xcel Center, St. Paul
Overheard by I didn’t see her pants.

Chesty Teen: Girrrrrl, if you got size F, you need a BREAST reduction!

HHS girls locker room

Morbidly obese Southerner catching his breath while exiting the stall: Whew… man! I’ll tell ya’.
Morbidly obese man’s friend washing his hands: What’s wrong, Bill?
Morbidly obese Southerner catching his breath while exiting the stall: I just murdered the toilet in there. I left breakfast and half my lunch!

Mall of America men’s restroom
Overheard by No More Fried Chicken for this Yankee.

Female in bathroom at New Years party after a lot of noise and breaking glass: Ok, that happened for two reasons. One: there are too many people in the bathroom. And two: having only two bamboo shoots in a glass vase is just not feng shui.

Grand & 29th
Overheard by Why wasn’t I invited?

Girl in bathroom stall: God, my skin finally stopped pulsating about halfway through class.
Girl in other stall: Oh, I know, same here. That stuff should be illegal.

Classroom Office Building, U of M
Overheard by Burrhead.

36C: Look at that girl’s titties! They’re tiny!
30AA: Yeah? Well, at least mine don’t slap me in the face when I’m running!

Hopkins Girls Locker Room
Overheard by zing!

Woman in the next stall making loud scratching noises: DAMN, what the fuck is that?!!! Ooooh shit!

New Burnsville Target bathroom
Overheard by I’m for sure not ever gonna use that stall.

Female healthcare worker #1: All I see today is sick people!
Female healthcare worker #2: Better than just seeing dead people, huh?
Female healthcare worker #1: That was a good movie though, that Sixth Sense one, wasn’t it?
Female healthcare worker #2: Yeah I do love me some Jean Claude Van Damme.

St. Paul Office Women’s Bathroom
Overheard by I prefer Rambo.

Bathroom sound in toilet: *SPLOOSH*
Unidentified woman in other stall: DEPTH CHARGE!

Folwell Hall bathroom, U of M
Overheard by Up Periscope!

20-something girl talking to friend: Oh my god, I just forgot to pull down my thong before I started peeing.

bathroom in Mall of America
Overheard by let’s hope it was just number one.

Drunk 20-something girl: I need a drink.
Drunk 40-something woman: Bitch! Don’t leave me in here, us white girls need to stick together!
Drunk 20-something girl: What?!
Drunk 40-something woman: Us white girls need to stick together!
Drunk 20-something girl: I thought you said you wanted me to wipe your ass!

Minnesota Music Cafe Women’s Restroom
Overheard by Leslee.