Posts Tagged ‘blaine’
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Repeat As Necessary
Dad to two little boys (4 and 6): If a stranger asks you to go somewhere, what do you do? Kick him in the balls.
Blaine, Culvers
Overheard by Jason. -
It’s The Only Reason I Work There
Loud (maybe drunk) lady: I take the water in my Orange Julius and replace it with vodka.
Blaine, Cub parking lot
Overheard by supertoyz. -
Teamwork
Guy in line for food, to another guy: I’ll grab your bun if you grab my wiener.
Blaine, Family Birthday Celebration
Overheard by BigDubb. -
Nobody Is
Teenage girl looking at shampoo to teenage friend: This one smells like coconut, I don’t wanna smell like a coconut.
Teenage friend: But you’re Asian, you’re allowed to smell like a coconut!Blaine, SuperTarget
Overheard by I wonder what white people are allowed to smell like. -
Goodbye, Cruel World!
High school boy: Dude, this totally sucks. I wanted to play Xbox all break, but instead I’m going to be in Paris!
Blaine, Centennial High School
Overheard by Dude, that totally sucks for you. -
We Don’t Like The Real Definitions Of Words
Employee #1: So, we have to eat chicken ‘cuz if we don’t they will, like, over populate the world.
Employee #2: Oh my god, really? Well, I won’t eat eggs ‘cuz it’s like abortion.Blaine Super Target
Overheard by Employee. -
Home Economics Always Gets To Me
Teenage slob-boy: Dude, I totally have a boner right now! Dude, seriously, feel this!!
Blaine, Centennial High School
Overheard by god how I wish my locker was someplace else. -
Don’t Worry, They Come With Instruction Manuals
20-something woman talking on cell phone, looking perplexed and bewildered in front of diaper aisle: What size did she need? Is there a certain brand? I don’t see that kind. How big of a pack? There aren’t any less than 30.
(pause) Yeah, I am not ready to be having kids any time soon.Blaine Super Target
Overheard by hibbet. -
It’s Out There Now
Ditzy blonde cashier to mechanic: He was the one that screwed it up. I feel bad for him and not just because he is new. He’s also Mexican.
No where near as ditzy cashier: What?!
Ditzy Blonde cashier: No! That’s not what I meant! The language barrier! His limited vocabulary! Damnit!John’s Auto Parts, Blaine
Overheard by There’s no saving that, Sis. -
They’re Not So Bad
Small Child (in shopping cart, pointing at shelf): Oh look, Mommy, yummy marshmallows!
Mom: No, Henry, those are dishwasher tablets.Blaine Super Target
Overheard by The Elderly Multigravida. -
Love Ain’t Cheap
7-year-old boy to mom: Mom, since you give me everything I want, can you give me $500?
Mom: Um… no.Blaine Taco Bell
Overheard by Mom–long time, no see! -
It Probably Happens More Frequently
Middle Aged woman to friends: When I was younger I used to be embarrassed when I pooped my pants. Now that I’m middle aged I don’t care anymore.
Blaine Target
Overheard by Because it’s socially acceptable when you’re middle aged? -
Like, Oh My God
Teen Girl: We don’t get to keep the gowns. We get to keep the hats.
Mom: Umm, yeah, I know.
Teen Girl: Those hats are so stupid. I’d rather gag than wear it.Kohl’s in Blaine
Overheard by the Elderly Multigravida. -
That’s Why I Play The Lottery
8 year old Asian girl to her father while walking down snack aisle at Target: I wish I owned this place.
Blaine Super Target
Overheard by Don’t we all. -
Baby Jesus Doesn’t Approve Of This
Mom to her 2-year-old son (pointing at picture in kiddie bible story book): You know how mommy says ‘Oh, Jesus!’? There he is! Aww, baby Jesus!
northtown applebee’s
Overheard by um, what was that 3rd commandment again?
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