20’s something woman on cell phone: I left my big pickle in the bag.  If you see that shit come out and that darn thing is still in there, you know what to do.  (pause) Grab the pickle.

Minneapolis, Block E Skyway
Overheard by who doesn’t love innocent “grab the pickle” moments?

Big black guy sitting in the row behind me right after the preview for The Soloist: I didn’t know black guys could play the cello!

Minneapolis, Block E Movie theater
Overheard by give it a try sometime.

Obnoxious girl, 3/4 through “Burn After Reading” during scene with Washington Monument in background: Is this movie, like, set in Washington DC?

Minneapolis, Block E
Overheard by Are you, like, most smartest?

Moviegoer in the silence before Tropic Thunder starts: Texas public school teachers can now have guns.

Block E
Overheard by aeh.

Female college student: My new thing is going to bed at a decent time when I have class in the morning.
Mid-20’s college dropout: My new thing is binge drinking every day. But I guess that’s not really new.

Applebee’s at Block E
Overheard by passing out at a decent hour.

Young black male, clutching the front of his pants: Yo nigga, where the nigga bathroom at?  I gotta pee!

Block E Theater lobby after The Dark Knight
Overheard by Um…I think society did away with those a few decades ago.

Very drunk and trendy girl, slurring to her two friends who were previously helping her stand: No, I work for the fire department, you guys, we’re getting a ride back on that! (Points to the fire truck in the road and starts to stagger towards it)

Block E
Overheard by Shannon.

Girl in purple 80s prom dress, after dancing partner dips her and hitting her head on a chair: Omigod ow! (rubs the back of her head.)
Guy in plain attire: You ok?
Girl: (slurring) I don’t even know!
Guy grabs girl and they keep grinding and making out.

The Shout House in Block E
Overheard by I hope the sex was worth the concussion.

Trendy girl: The last time I was in the bathroom here, there was blood all over the floor. I’m not even going to touch that.

Women’s bathroom line at Block E after the Sex and the City movie
Overheard by LB.

Girl #1:  Giiiiiiirl, you know I got pregnant again.
Girl #2:  Who the daddy be?
Girl #1:  You know that Asian boy I always be with at John’s* parties?
Girl #2:  That baby be cute, be like a little Tiger Woods blackanasian baby, but girl, you know you got to get an abortion.
Girl #1:  Nah, my momma says she help me take care of this one.

in line at a the Block E Movie Theater downtown Minneapolis
Overheard by Joseph Howell.

One teen to another watching preview for 10,000 BC: What’s that movie?
Teen #2: 10,000 BK.
Teen #1: BK? What’s that mean?
Teen #2: You know, AD and BK. You know, for Before Christ.

Kerasotes Movie Theater, Block E
Overheard by Coco.

Block E-loiterer #1: Lookit this mufugga. Nigga got on a Matrix coat.
Block E-loiterer #12: Yeah, mufugga probly got a sawed-off under that shit.

5th and Hennepin
Overheard by and I thought I looked like just another white guy leaving the office wearing a black topcoat.

Really loud guy on his cell phone: Why would I put you in my fave five? I’ve already got my parole officer, Scottie, my grandma, my auntie, and *inaudible*. That’s why I bought you a phone, so I could call you for free!

Block E Bus Stop
Overheard by Wouldn’t it have been cheaper to just use your anytime minutes?

Pregnant chick on cell phone: …Eighteen pregnant chicks in a sober cab?

Skyway between City Center and Block E
Overheard by sxoidmal.

Guy high on meth caught trying to shoplift a book: I can’t help it. I’m a book nut.

Borders- Block E
Overheard by Don’t Meth with Meth.

Young thug #1: Shit son, you about to tell me she did what?
Young thug #2: Mmhm.
Young thug #1: Aw man that shit ain’t right. That shit just ain’t right. How she gonna do that an’ not pay? I mean I know she a hooker an’ all, but she coulda at least shared her fuckin’ cheetos.
Young thug #2: Mmhm.
Young thug #1: Or asked if she coulda bought your ass your own bag of cheetos! [cups hands to mouth to make announcement] Excuse me people, I have a very serious situation here: Can a brotha get some cheetos? A brotha needs some cheetos, and that is not somethin’ to fuck with.
Random, considerably older thug: Ay man, cut that shit out.
Young thug #1: Whatever, it just ain’t even that big. Your girl’s butt? It just ain’t even that big. [turns away, yells to crowd] Ay! Did I not just say I need some CHEETOS UP IN HERE?

Block E
Overheard by i forget what we’re calling “cheetos” these days.

Woman to bookstore clerk: Can you take me to the self-help section?

Borders Books/Block E
Overheard by Literary Eavesdropper.