Middle aged woman #1: I mean, the poor girl has three uteruses, and she’s from India and-
Middle aged woman #2: Does that mean she can have three babies at the same time??

Bloomington, Hotel
Overheard by Your Confused Front Desk Agent.

Old man to old lady: You know, back then two dollar bills were for prostitutes.

Bloomington, Red Lobster
Overheard by i had no idea.

Crabby customer: Why is the carwash closed? I drove all the way from Edina to get my car washed!! It’s 28 degrees out, that’s not below freezing!!
Patient coworker: Ma’am, 28 degrees IS below freezing, unless you happen to be European and slightly confused.
Crabby customer: I’m AMERICAN and I want my X5 washed, NOW!

Bloomington, Car dealership
Overheard by God bless ‘Merica.

Coworker #1 to Coworker #2: So, what happened in Haiti? Did a volcano erupt or something?

Bloomington, Random Office Building
Overheard by I was told there would be bacon.

80 year old women to one of the female nursing assistants: Man, do you have the cutest little butt!!

Bloomington, Presbyterian Homes
Overheard by Nurse thinking “well that isn’t very presbyterian” :)

Elderly hockey fan surveying the crowd: These people all look so… Midwestern.

Bloomington, Joe Senser’s
Overheard by What did you expect?

Little boy to Dad: But Dad, how am I supposed to get better at video games if I’m stuck in school for 7 hours?

Bloomington, Target
Overheard by Children are our future?

Rocker #1: I have a receding hair line.
Rocker #2: But I have the biggest forehead in Minnesota!

Bloomington, TGIFridays
Overheard by It was pretty big…

Suburban Exec: Who eats a 16oz steak at lunch? I don’t get that.

Bloomington, cubicle land
Overheard by sleepyhead.

Coworker: They sent an invitation on the computer. It was an e-invitation. On e-mail.

Bloomington, Nasty work bathroom
Overheard by I was told there would be bacon.

Man talking on his phone to his doctor’s office: So, you said it’s how much to see the doctor? (pause) What do you mean it’s based on education? (pause) Do you have someone I could see who is maybe just thinking about going to medical school?

Bloomington, Green Mill
Overheard by He’s onto something.

20’s something girl: O-M-G I totally feel like a gold digger; I’m going on a date with a 37 year old whose TOTALLY loaded. But hey, who knows, maybe he’ll pay off my student loans!
20’s something male friend: Or maybe you’ll fall in love.
20’s something girl: Ummm you did hear me say he’s 37, didnt you?

Bloomington, Subway on Lyndale
Overheard by some women are crazy.

Female coworker: Hey, did you have fun with your kid yesterday?
Male coworker: Yeah, he had a good birthday.  Went to the Mall of America, went on some rides, took him to Hooters for dinner.
Female coworker: Wait, WHAT? How old is Carson?
Male coworker: Just turned 8. It was fine, our waitress was a real catch.  Kinda smart, too.
Female coworker: Yeah, I’m sure she was working at Hooters to pay her way through med school.

Bloomington, car dealership
Overheard by Car salespeople….eeesh.

Guy walking out of school on his cell phone: How am I supposed to seduce you if you’re not drunk?

Bloomington, Normandale Community College

Nurse leaving clinic: It’s a good thing we had that trainee in today. That kid had, like, five bags of coke in him. It’s a good learning experience for everyone that way.

Bloomington, a clinic
Overheard by Kay Jay Aye.

Guy in mid-twenties: If I’m going to put my arm around another guy, I have to cross my legs, too.

Bloomington, Southtown Bowling Alley
Overheard by Back to back.

Early 20-something guy to his early 20-something girlfriend as she tries on heels: They look small. What size are they?
Girlfriend: 7.
Boyfriend: What size are you?
Girlfriend: 8.
Boyfriend: Will you wear them? They’ll hurt you too much you’ll never wear them.
Girlfriend: You’re right, they’re too expensive. I won’t get them.

Bloomington, Bloomingdale’s shoe department
Overheard by Active Listener.

Older woman on cell phone in bathroom: My UTI is EVERYBODY’S problem!!

Bloomington, Corp office building
Overheard by It’s not MY problem.

Large black woman to her young son: Get over here you little niglet or I’ll knock you stupid.

Bloomington, IHOP
Overheard by entertained white guy.

Woman shopping, to younger guy in a suitcoat and jeans: Do you work here?
Younger guy: No, I’m just good looking.

Bloomington, Macy’s coats
Overheard by Staciaann.