Older woman: Now that the fireworks have started, they’re probably having crazy sex in the port-a-potties!!

Bloomington Summer Fete
Overheard by pocavontas.

Middle aged black woman with her grandchildren at 11:30am on a Sunday: I just took the kids out to breakfast and now I need to go home and have me a Jack Daniels.

Southtown Target

Girl #1: Whenever I drink, my kidney hurts the next day.
Girl #2: Um, maybe you shouldn’t drink so much.

In the Sheraton lobby during Convergence

College-bound Girl: I don’t need an ironing board; I got one at the Senior Party!

Ikea
Overheard by An Invisible Fiend.

Kickball player to fellow kickball players, who happen to be a roller derby girl & ref: So, do those roller derby girls date Craigslist Personals guys?

The Sports Page, Bloomington
Overheard by I doubt it.

Girl art student: Is Across the Universe a good movie?
Boy art student: Yeah, but the main girl is kind of a plain bagel.
Girl art student: A plain bagel?
Boy art student: When you work at a bagel shop you start comparing everything to bagels.

Bloomington Jefferson High School - 2D art class
Overheard by trying to work on my final.

Blonde: It’s so hot in here, I’m all sweaty.
Brunette: I think I’m going to need my turtle.

IKEA
Overheard by that’s not going to solve your problem.

Stoner Girl: (loudly in the middle of the hallway) You never give me cigarettes!
Stoner Boy: I always give you cigarettes!
Stoner Girl: (even louder) You’ve never given me a cigarette IN YOUR LIFE!

Bloomington Jefferson High School
Overheard by cigarettes give you cancer.

Teenage Boy #1: I just get so nervous when she touches me, man. I think I’m ready to tell her how I feel.
Teenage Boy #2: No, no, no, dude! Wait till she plays with your hair. When she plays with your hair, that’s love.

Bloomington Jefferson High School
Overheard by a sure sign.

Dirty Old Man: Yeah they’re real, only the real ones jiggle.

Barber Shop/Bloomington
Overheard by yeah, it’s exactly what you think it is.

Woman in line: See, they make you pay 5 cents for the plastic bags.
Man in line: Why are they doing that?
Woman in line: They want to save a tree I guess.

IKEA
Overheard by Save the plastic trees!

Random Chick: Dolphins don’t eat people.
Random Dude: Yeah, they do, they spin you around and…
Random Chick:(interrupted) elephants can’t swim.
Random Dude: Yeah, they can, giraffes cannot.

Jefferson High School in a mythology class
Overheard by random person who was bored.

Bearded Dude: Yeah… I care a lot more about my penis than I do my friends.
Not Quite as Bearded: Oh, totally.

Bloomington Bike Shop
Overheard by wondering if that is selfish, or self preservation…

20 something male: Yeah, these are my sound dampening head phones I was telling you about.
20 something female: Do you ever get bored in your mind when you have these on? Man, I can’t even hear myself!

Southtown Bowling Lanes
Overheard by A Mechanic.

17 year old male: Its kind of like if you bred a cat with a donkey.

Kennedy HS , Bloomington
Overheard by Dan Hjulberg.

Girl to boyfriend: Every time I talk to you, you’re eating a TV dinner.

Cub Foods, Bloomington
Overheard by Good observation.

Republican: Which line is this?
Democrat: DFL. The Republicans are downstairs.
Republican: Oh. I should have known, your line has all the good-looking people in it.

Jefferson School caucus
Overheard by Leigha.

Civics teacher: Does anyone know who fought in the Hundred Years War?
Super smart kid: OOOH! France and England.
Civics teacher: That’s right.
Dumb girl: (raises her hand) Wait… that doesn’t make any sense. (aside to friend) Isn’t France in England?

Jefferson High School (Bloomington)
Overheard by Appalled honors student.