Middle aged woman #1: I mean, the poor girl has three uteruses, and she’s from India and-
Middle aged woman #2: Does that mean she can have three babies at the same time??
Bloomington, Hotel
Overheard by Your Confused Front Desk Agent.
Old man to old lady: You know, back then two dollar bills were for prostitutes.
Bloomington, Red Lobster
Overheard by i had no idea.
It’s Getting Warmer In Here Already
Crabby customer: Why is the carwash closed? I drove all the way from Edina to get my car washed!! It’s 28 degrees out, that’s not below freezing!!
Patient coworker: Ma’am, 28 degrees IS below freezing, unless you happen to be European and slightly confused.
Crabby customer: I’m AMERICAN and I want my X5 washed, NOW!
Bloomington, Car dealership
Overheard by God bless ‘Merica.
Coworker #1 to Coworker #2: So, what happened in Haiti? Did a volcano erupt or something?
Bloomington, Random Office Building
Overheard by I was told there would be bacon.
But Those Pants Do You No Favors
80 year old women to one of the female nursing assistants: Man, do you have the cutest little butt!!
Bloomington, Presbyterian Homes
Overheard by Nurse thinking “well that isn’t very presbyterian” :)
It’s A Mystery We Hope To Solve Soon
Elderly hockey fan surveying the crowd: These people all look so… Midwestern.
Bloomington, Joe Senser’s
Overheard by What did you expect?
A Full Time Job May Not Be In His Future
Little boy to Dad: But Dad, how am I supposed to get better at video games if I’m stuck in school for 7 hours?
Bloomington, Target
Overheard by Children are our future?
This Is Uncomfortable For Everyone
Rocker #1: I have a receding hair line.
Rocker #2: But I have the biggest forehead in Minnesota!
Bloomington, TGIFridays
Overheard by It was pretty big…
Adding To Life’s Mysteries
Suburban Exec: Who eats a 16oz steak at lunch? I don’t get that.
Bloomington, cubicle land
Overheard by sleepyhead.
Wrap Your Head Around That One!
Coworker: They sent an invitation on the computer. It was an e-invitation. On e-mail.
Bloomington, Nasty work bathroom
Overheard by I was told there would be bacon.
Man talking on his phone to his doctor’s office: So, you said it’s how much to see the doctor? (pause) What do you mean it’s based on education? (pause) Do you have someone I could see who is maybe just thinking about going to medical school?
Bloomington, Green Mill
Overheard by He’s onto something.
He Practically Has Alzheimer’s!
20’s something girl: O-M-G I totally feel like a gold digger; I’m going on a date with a 37 year old whose TOTALLY loaded. But hey, who knows, maybe he’ll pay off my student loans!
20’s something male friend: Or maybe you’ll fall in love.
20’s something girl: Ummm you did hear me say he’s 37, didnt you?
Bloomington, Subway on Lyndale
Overheard by some women are crazy.
Is That Why You’re Selling Cars?
Female coworker: Hey, did you have fun with your kid yesterday?
Male coworker: Yeah, he had a good birthday. Went to the Mall of America, went on some rides, took him to Hooters for dinner.
Female coworker: Wait, WHAT? How old is Carson?
Male coworker: Just turned 8. It was fine, our waitress was a real catch. Kinda smart, too.
Female coworker: Yeah, I’m sure she was working at Hooters to pay her way through med school.
Bloomington, car dealership
Overheard by Car salespeople….eeesh.
I Don’t Want It If There’s Work Involved
Guy walking out of school on his cell phone: How am I supposed to seduce you if you’re not drunk?
Bloomington, Normandale Community College
Nurse leaving clinic: It’s a good thing we had that trainee in today. That kid had, like, five bags of coke in him. It’s a good learning experience for everyone that way.
Bloomington, a clinic
Overheard by Kay Jay Aye.
I Always Get The Urge To Pee
Guy in mid-twenties: If I’m going to put my arm around another guy, I have to cross my legs, too.
Bloomington, Southtown Bowling Alley
Overheard by Back to back.
Early 20-something guy to his early 20-something girlfriend as she tries on heels: They look small. What size are they?
Girlfriend: 7.
Boyfriend: What size are you?
Girlfriend: 8.
Boyfriend: Will you wear them? They’ll hurt you too much you’ll never wear them.
Girlfriend: You’re right, they’re too expensive. I won’t get them.
Bloomington, Bloomingdale’s shoe department
Overheard by Active Listener.
Older woman on cell phone in bathroom: My UTI is EVERYBODY’S problem!!
Bloomington, Corp office building
Overheard by It’s not MY problem.
You Should Do What She Says
Large black woman to her young son: Get over here you little niglet or I’ll knock you stupid.
Bloomington, IHOP
Overheard by entertained white guy.
Woman shopping, to younger guy in a suitcoat and jeans: Do you work here?
Younger guy: No, I’m just good looking.
Bloomington, Macy’s coats
Overheard by Staciaann.