Server, walking to the next birthday table after they sang to my dad: God, I hate doing this.

Burnsville, TGI Fridays
Overheard by I would too, if I had your job.

Girl in class #1: Is Ralph Waldo Emerson Walt Disney?
Girl in class #2: No, he’s an essayist.
Girl in class #1: A what?
Girl in class #2: An author.
Girl in class #1: Oh. So, who’s Walt Disney?
Girl in class #2: Uh… Walt Disney is.
Girl in class #1, to another friend: UGH. She doesn’t get what I’m asking!

Burnsville High School

Woman #1: Husbands are sharing their wives all over Burnsville.
Woman #2: I know. I love it.

Burnsville Post Office
Overheard by Introduce me!

Girl: Oh man. Nothing’s coming out.

Burnsville, toilet stall at Burnsville movie theater
Overheard by girl in next stall.

Preteen girl #1 coming out of Harry Potter: That was waaaay better than Twilight.
Preteen girl #2: Yeah, Twilight was like eating poop and Harry Potter was like eating gummy bears!

Burnsville, Regal Cinemas
Overheard by Couldn’t have said it better.

Grandma: I just got new hearing aids.
Father (Son of Grandma): How are they working?
Grandma: (no response)
Father: Mom? Are they working?
Grandma: That’s nice.
Son (Grandchild): I think that’s your answer.

Burnsville, Red Lobster
Overheard by What did you say?

Teenage girl to friend: I wasn’t so into the idea at first. But now that I think about it, I agree with him; it WOULD be better with two goats instead of just one!

Burnsville, North River Hills soccer fields
Overheard by wait. say that again?

Guy in hallway: I work for a company in Elko that makes slot-machine bases. When you go into a casino, the slot machines have to sit on something. That’s what we make.

Burnsville, Office building
Overheard by That’s FASCINATING!

Crazy emo girl in an overcrowded booth, surrounded by her friends: It’s like watching the cookie monster make love to your cat!

Burnsville, Perkins
Overheard by WHAT, exactly, is like that?!

10 year old boy: Look at that snow! You don’t even know if there are humans down there!

Burnsville, MN, Top of Tubing Hill at Buck Hill
Overheard by Amused.

Young Male Clerk: Did you find everything you need?
Female Customer: (sighs wistfully) No, I didn’t.
Young Male Clerk: (sincerely) I’m sorry.
Female Customer: Well, that’s what happens when you wait until the last minutes.  You wind up with a book on chickens.
Young Male Clerk: I’ll have to remember that.

Burnsville, Barnes & Noble
Overheard by Merry Cluckin’ Christmas.

Very loud man: I had some of that Colombian coffee! And they’re growing marijuana over there so all of that gets into their coffee. I’m at 30,000 feet in my seat!

Burnsville, 444 Bus
Overheard by The Yankee.

20-something man: God, it would be fun to be a mercenary.

Burnsville, Barnes & Noble
Overheard by To each his own.

Club going girl to her friends: Gross, I have period stain.

Burnsville, Perkins
Overheard by questioning my sexuality for the first time ever.

5 yr old boy at Victoria’s Secret: I don’t like it here.
Mom: But just look at all the friendly people.

Burnsville Center
Overheard by A “friendly” person.

Man walking up to the register at the dollar tree holding a pair of headphones: How much are these?
Cashier: A dollar.

Burnsville, The Dollar tree
Overheard by But for you…$1.75.

Mom: …then I’d have to kill you.
Daughter: Why?
Mom: Because that’s my job as a mother.

Burnsville, Macy’s
Overheard by Glad I’m not her daughter.

Woman, upon opening a bag of Doritos:  Shiiiit.  This bag of chips is only half full.

Burnsville, Super America
Overheard by Should have read the fine print.

Teenage kid, to the rest of his table: I like STD’s more than STR’s

Burnsville Perkins
Overheard by dislikes both equally.

A woman helping another woman jump start her car: Now, do I start my car first er…?

Burnsville parking lot