15th July 2008

Next Week’s Episode Of ‘As The World Turns’

Man eating with his family: …so when she took her home pregnancy test, she accidentally peed all over the counter. When he confronted her, she lied about it, and also told him she wasn’t pregnant.  But then my sister told him that she was actually pregnant.

Denny’s in Burnsville
Overheard by just trying to enjoy my meat scrambler.

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7th July 2008

You’ll Have To Get That Kind Of Cheese Yourself

Ghetto girl from backseat of a friends car at McDonald’s drive-thru yelling at the worker: All I wanted was normal ass cheese on my McChicken! Where is my normal ass piece of cheese?

Burnsville
Overheard by It was funny till he screwed up my order too.

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27th June 2008

Have We Learned Nothing From The Beatles?

Little blonde pre-school girl: I’m stronger than Jesus!

River Hills Church in Burnsville
Overheard by Tomorrow’s lesson is on blasphemy.

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24th June 2008

That Could Go Two Ways And Both Are Bad

One wasted musician to another: I don’t know how she got pregnant. She must have sat down on my computer sock.

Renegades in Burnsville
Overheard by an equally drunk patron.

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6th June 2008

Yeah, That’s What It’s About

Preppy girl: Man, I hate this new dress code.  I can’t wear anything now.
Preppy girl’s friend: At least they didn’t give us uniforms.  I mean, that’d force us to look good everyday.  You can’t just look like crap in a uniform and pull that look off.

Bus leaving Burnsville High School

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3rd June 2008

Depends How You Want The Date To End

Teacher: You consider 300 a good date movie?

Burnsville High School
Overheard by Some Econ Kids.

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18th May 2008

Just Tell Him It’s Not His

Loud obnoxious server to her co-worker: I’m pregnant and my husband calls me “chubbers” now. The other night he was all, like, “HEY CHUBBERS! YOU GONNA COME TO BED OR DO I NEED TO GET A FORKLIFT TO GET YOU OFF OF THE COUCH!?”

Perkins off of Burnsville Parkway
Overheard by I don’t care and neither does anyone else in the restaurant.

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15th May 2008

That’s Pretty Emo

Lit Class Substitute Teacher: Did I hear that correctly? “Please don’t rape me with your feelings”?

Burnsville High School
Overheard by Yep, your hearing is perfect.

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15th May 2008

Not As Funny As Poop

Study Hall Girl: We’re reading a bunch of Africa books. All they talk about is urine.

Burnsville High School
Overheard by I’m sure that’s not ALL they talk about.

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12th May 2008

Nobody Ever Says No

Mother shouting from car to her husband in Super America: GET ME SOME CHOCOLATE!

Super America - CR 5 In Burnsville
Overheard by Hey - Me too!

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1st May 2008

Only If She Loses A Shoe In The Process

Study Hall Girl #1: I’m going to kick your bottom!
Study Hall Girl #2: Sounds uncomfortable.

Burnsville High School
Overheard by Keeping it G-rated.

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9th April 2008

Probably

Young boy to his dad whispering: Dad, is that guy gay?  He sounds funny.
Dad:  No, he’s from another country.
Boy:  Is he French?

Burnsville Center
Overheard by Big Dipper.

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8th April 2008

Does She Have It Comin’?

Teen girl to her friends: Just because the bitch is pregnant doesn’t mean I won’t kick her ass.  I’ll still beat her pregnant ass!  You ain’t pregnant in yo’ face!

Burnsville Center
Overheard by Concerned Parent.

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5th April 2008

My Arteries Just Clogged Up

Witty Blonde Girl: How did you spend $10 at Wendy’s? Did you NOT read the dollar menu?

Burnsville High School
Overheard by Some of us have bigger appetites than others.

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2nd April 2008

We’ll Check Back With You In 40 Years

Teen Guy: You should kill your dentist.
Teen Girl: Dentists are retarded.

Burnsville High School
Overheard by I bet she has fillings.

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2nd April 2008

I’m A Little Concerned About Burnsville High

Teen Girl: Aren’t they those lesbians from Canada?

Burnsville High School
Overheard by Where!?

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2nd April 2008

Except For The Cake, Balloons And Happiness

Teen guy: (upon hearing about the military use of silly string) Wow, war is just like a 12-year-old’s birthday!

Burnsville High School
Overheard by …with a few more explosions.

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23rd March 2008

You’re Not Quite That Lucky

Loud little boy at the end of the Easter service after the pastor dismissed everyone: YAY! School is over!

Berean Baptist Church, Burnsville
Overheard by HA, that’s awesome!

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23rd March 2008

Can You Do That?

Teacher: How DO you solve your problems without violence?

Burnsville High School
Overheard by Good question.

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14th March 2008

There’s A Mental Image I’ll Never Escape

Awkward Teen Guy: No yogurt can escape the reach of my tongue.

Burnsville High School Cafeteria
Overheard by No yogurt is safe.

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