Bro promoting Barfly: Every night I go home, make myself a chicken breast, and hit my pillow. Two breasts a day keeps a guy healthy, am I right?

Minneapolis, Hennepin & 5th bus stop
Overheard by Burrhead.

7 year old girl, singing: Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg…
Teenage girl: Oh really? I didn’t even know!
7 year old girl: Hey, HEY! Don’t sass me like that.

Minneapolis, bus stop near Tyler St.
Overheard by i see who wears the pants in that relationship.

Preteen dude #1: Dude, I totally banged her!
Preteen dude #2: Seriously?
Preteen dude #1: Yeah, she came to my house and we did.
Preteen dude #2: No way dude, when?
Preteen dude #1: Like, two nights ago.
Preteen dude #2: You stayed at my house.

South Minneapolis, bus stop
Overheard by Taking the bus.

Gangster douche-bag on phone: Yeah, I just want to find someone to kiss, someone to talk to, someone to make sweet love to. (gets done with conversation, hangs up phone) Damn, I want to have sex with that girl! She’s so hot!

Minneapolis, Bus Stop, Nicollet Ave
Overheard by I think saying “make sweet love to” instead of “have sex with” helped your cause.

Man on cellphone: It isn’t ebola. (pause) What she say? She got money for me to come down? What do you mean she doesn’t?

Minneapolis, bus shelter
Overheard by I’d keep him at a distance too.

Guy: Yeah, I used to move product.
Bus driver/acquaintance: What did you do?
Guy, smiling: I was a pharmacist.

Minneapolis, Bus stop on Broadway Ave

Preacher man at bus stop: Tampons! Dirty, filthy tampons! Your good deeds are no better than dirty tampons!

Minneapolis, Union St. and Washington Ave, U of M Campus

Stoner guy: You have chocolate on your face.
Obese goth girl: It’s not chocolate. It’s a lupus sore.

Minneapolis, Bus stop on Nicollet Downtown (Bus 16)
Overheard by Unfortunately me.

Guy: It’s probably some guy behind a desk losin’ your shit in cyberspace. That why I be puttin’ mine in a safe and burying it.

Minneapolis, Downtown bus stop

Blonde: So, when I realized he was copying off my test, I put some fake answers down.
Blonde’s friend: I guess he’ll know not to  copy off you again.
Blonde: Only problem is I forgot to put the right answers down afterwards.
Blonde’s friend: How much of your grade is this midterm worth?
Blonde: I think 20%. But that’s ok, it’s not curved!
Blonde’s friend: Uhh… then what was the point of feeding him fake answers?

Minneapolis, Washington Ave bus stop
Overheard by You Should Drop That Class.

Man at the the bus stop to man with a walker: How much does that thing weigh? (man with walker has puzzled look on his face) I don’t have time for the lift, I’ll be late for work.

Minneapolis, bus stop for 2 Bus
Overheard by Well excuse me!

Transplant, to new arrival on the oncoming winter: Yeah in mid-January your nose hairs are going to freeze.

Minneapolis, Uptown Station
Overheard by a native.

Woman gossiping about coworker: Why don’t they just give her disability? Then she can go drink at night.

Minneapolis, bus stop

Hot girl on cell phone: Um, why were your boxers in the bathroom trashcan this morning? Ok, well from now on throw them away in the dumpster and maybe, I don’t know, wipe before you decide to do lunges?

Lyndale/Franklyn bus stop
Overheard by Ummm…you could do better.

Woman to companion while waiting for bus: So, it was really lucky that grandma died on Christmas, because we just drove down and went from there. otherwise, we would have had to drive down twice.

Downtown bus stop
Overheard by …you’re kind of a bitch.

Woman to man: You got your knife on you?
Man: Yeah.
Womand to man: Because I swear to God, I will slash your throat right now, you talk about my baby like that again. I will cut you.

Bus stop near Hennepin and 5th
Overheard by Just trying to get to the train station.

Ghetto Girl #1 (eyeing a book in a bag her friend is holding, looks disgusted): That ain’t a book, is it?! (rips book from bag, flips quickly through it without looking at cover, appalled, as if she’s never seen a book before)
Ghetto Girl #2 looks down, ashamed.
Ghetto Girl: You ain’t gonna READ it, is you?!

MOA bus stop
Overheard by an English major.