Young woman on cell phone: Who is this? (pause) He is my baby, not my boyfriend! I told you that. (short pause) What’s wrong with you?!?

#5 bus downtown Minneapolis
Overheard by Yikes.

Man talking very loud: Woah, this my stop. I always get off at Mary Tyler Moore. She one sexy bitch.

17 bus eastbound
Overheard by Mary Tyler Moore’s bestest fan.

Man chatting with an equally loud friend: He’s so cute you wanna trust anything he says, but it’s like, no. He just sells himself so he can be like geishas.

16 bus wetbound
Overheard by if he’s cute….

Loud, angry black man: Shit, don’t talk to me about no “African American.” I’m a black American. I ain’t no “African” American; I’m a black American. Africans hate you, black man. They hate you.
Slightly amused African American man: Man, let me give you a history lesson. Liberia…
Angry black man: Man, fuck your history lesson! I don’t need a damn history lesson. I know all about Liberia. I know all about the Nation of Islam. Liberians, Somalis, Egyptians, they’re all the same: they hate you. They don’t want anything to do with you. You can’t talk to their women, but they can talk to yours. African American… shit, I’m a black American!
African American man: It is way too early for this shit.

16 on Washington, 4:30 a.m.
Overheard by Yes, yes it is way too early for this shit.

Metro Transit phone employee (on speakerphone): Take the sixteen bus towards…
18 year old girl trying to get directions: Wait, wait you’re talking too fast and my pen died.
Metro Transit phone employee: You killed your pen? You heartless BITCH.

Univeristy/ sixteen bus line
Overheard by Death to ink.

Prada-carrying,rich suburban mom on crowded bus of mainly black people: We should go to Baton Rouge. I just love plantations. They’re so beautiful.
Rich suburban daughter with Chanel glasses: I want to get married there!

16 into Minneapolis
Overheard by LB.

Pissy gay man: I don’t like The Onion. They just make up all their stories. It’s not the REAL news.

Number 4 bus to uptown
Overheard by that’s sort of the point.

Guy #1: Jesus was such an amazing person.
Guy #2: Yeah. But he wasn’t white though!

The #4 bus
Overheard by where’d that come from?

Man talking to girlfriend: I’m not controlling, but when I say shut up, bitch, you shut up!

South Bound Metro Transit #4
Overheard by Someone who knows a bad relationship when they see one.

Toothless woman to hairy, bandana-wearing man:  Are you single?

Back of 67 bus
Overheard by LB.

Teen girl on cell phone: …cuz you’re not a lesbian fan, and I like lesbians. They’re funny.

18 bus
Overheard by um…

Man with American flag sticking out of his backpack: It’s against the law to eat on the bus, isn’t that right, driver?
Bus Driver: Are you serious?
Man: Yeah, I’m serious!
Woman with drink: I’ll spill this drink all over that chair and make you sit your ass on it!

16 Bus into downtown

Big black guy: I don’t care if my woman is black, blue, or green as long as she has some ass n’ titties I am bangin’.

bus 16, downtown Minneapolis
Overheard by sitting next to Mr. Colorblind.

Lady on cell phone, on the bus, talking loudly, all for the sake of hearing her own voice: Yeah, they are having a Protestant ceremony at a Catholic church. Which apparently is really rare.

11C
Overheard by Luther’s 96th Thesis.

Older woman shouting:  Somebody on this bus got a skunk!  Who’s got a skunk in their purse?!

16 eastbound
Overheard by LB, who loves public transportation.

Young Rebel Rolling a joint in his parking ticket on the back of the 12 bus: What you lookin’ at gramps? Don’t act like you didn’t smoke this shit in college!

The 12 bus- by Target HQ

Woman to her friend: Girl, you makin’ my booty itch!
Friend: (silent)
Woman, leaning her butt into the friend’s face, and whispering: It itches.

16 Bus
Overheard by well, itch it!

Guy #1: I don’t know… I always prefer when it’s closed casket.
Guy #2: Are you kidding? I hope this is open casket! That way I will know for sure that the bastard is dead!

Bus in Downtown Minneapolis
Overheard by my condolences?

Loud guy complaining about his landlord:  I swear, especially in the suburbs, do NOT trust ANYONE.

16 bus heading to St. Paul
Overheard by LB.

20 something guy to female friend: I’ll introduce you to him if you find a nice girl for me to meet. Myspace just isn’t cutting it anymore.
Random Intoxicated Girl: Myspace? Are you on Facebook? You should add me! My name is Debbie, like little Debbie Snacks!

Route 16 headed downtown
Overheard by why would you introduce yourself as little debbie snacks??