Posts Tagged ‘buses’
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Then The Answer Is Never
Teen in Back: Hey, driver, when is the Lowry Bridge going to open?
Driver: Next spring.
Teen in Back: Aren’t we not supposed to be alive by then?Minneapolis, 32 to Robbinsdale
Overheard by aeh. -
Raising Money For College Is Hard
Woman in front to driver: My sister is 40 and has 7 grandkids. One time I was over and she was teaching the 3 year old how to use that pole.
Minneapolis, 32 to Rosedale Center
Overheard by aeh. -
The Bus Is A Good Place To Find All Three
Man, in awkward conversation with woman about why he is on the bus: There’s nothing to do in Mound but drink. Do you drink?
Woman: No, I’ve never been much of a drinker. How much do you drink?
Man: Every day.
Woman: What do you drink?
Man: Whiskey.
Woman: Does your brother drink too?
Man: No, he does weed.
Woman: Oh, I hate weed. If anything, I like oxycodone.On the border of Minnetonka and Wayzata, 675 Bus to Mound (aka, Most of Us Need Drugs)
Overheard by Spoonbridge. -
It’s On A Good Plan, Too
Man in bright orange suit: My phone doesn’t do text messages, but I’ve got the original text message… the Bible!
Minneapolis, Back of 21 bus on Lake St.
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He’ll Be There Later For A Q&A
College Girl to Friend: Here’s the thing about the King Tut exhibit; it’s not like actually like King Tut, it’s just like, his stuff. Dumb!
Minneapolis, Bus Route 6
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She Didn’t Say Anything About The Walk Back
Inebriated woman to her man: Don’t be swinging your thang on your way there. Walk straight to the damn store.
Minneapolis, 18 Bus
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St Paul’s Newest Slogan
One guy talking to another guy: Even though I’m hated everywhere I go, I gotta admit this is a pretty nice city.
St. Paul, 62 – bus
Overheard by LAH. -
That’s What Most Men Hear
Woman #1: How are you?
Woman #2: I can’t complain.
Woman #1: I can always complain. I’m a woman. Whine, whine, whine.Minneapolis, #18 bus downtown
Overheard by an uncomplaining woman. -
Embrace Who You Is
Woman to Man: You coulda been a lot of shit, Dawg. Truth is, you is who you is.
Bus in St. Paul, 62-bus, about half way back
Overheard by LAH, found it quite profound. -
That’s Actually What He Wished For
Crazy girl: I’m like, “Dude, I know it’s your birthday and all, sorry!” And then I punched him in the face.
Minneapolis, 6u bus
Overheard by rjy. -
Those Prayer Hands Look A Lot Like Vomit
Intoxicated Older Bus Passenger: I’m a born again alcoholic! I got prayer hands on my shirt. That means I pray every day.
Minneapolis, 21 bus
Overheard by QuoteRadar. -
Not In The Off-Season
Elderly man with a long, white beard: Oh there’s a whole shitload over there! Did you see all those deer? We get a cow-catcher on this thing and we could have some steaks! Now don’t run me over when I cross the street. You get 6 points for Santa, you know.
Shoreview, #227 Bus
Overheard by Cow-catchers would be good for pedestrians, too. -
Problem Solved
Homeless Guy #1: I’m tellin’ you, they should just tear the damn roof off that thing, put some lights up and play ball.
Homeless Guy #2: That would work.
Homeless Guy #1: It’s still a good building, it’s only 30 years old.
Homeless Guy #2: It’s be a waste to tear it down. And think of all the money they’d save.
Homeless Guy #1: They could give it to us!Minneapolis, #16 bus, passing by Metrodome
Overheard by I couldn’t agree more. -
The Reds Are Taking Up Too Much Space In My Toy Box
5th/6th grade boy: I’ll sure be glad when the wine cellar is finished.
2nd boy: Me, too.Maple Grove, Ski trip bus on way back from Trollhaugen
Overheard by Me too kid, me too. -
Or Like A Bus
Woman, after being asked for her phone number: I have only one man in my life and that’s God. Because I know that he would never hurt me. Don’t get me started or I will treat this bus like a Sunday.
Downtown Minneapolis, 18 Bus
Overheard by the one smiling. -
Make Sure It’s Enough To Share With Everyone
Big lady on the phone: I’m hungry! (pause) Well, I don’t care, then osmosis me some food now!
Minneapolis, 6 Bus
Overheard by I dont think thats how it works. -
You Can’t Tame Wild Oats
Younger man, after seeing older man’s wedding ring: Man, you got a girl, you’re in it forever?
Older man: Yep.
Younger man: Yeah, I got a girlfriend, been together six months, she’s real smart. She’s real smart. But sticking with one your whole LIFE? SHIT, man. Fuck that shit!Minneapolis, Bus #4
Overheard by Burrhead. -
Maybe He’ll Grow Into It
Woman on cell phone: Didn’t you say you ran into her at the fair and her kid was, like, totally jacked? (pause) You’re going to hell! Don’t lie! (pause) Mmhmm, JACKED. (chuckles)
Minneapolis, Bus #2
Overheard by Burrhead. -
That Rhymes With A Word She Doesn’t Know
Poofy-haired girl in sweats to crazy old guy in patriotic hat: Uncle Sam, is he real or is he fictionary?
Minneapolis, Northbound Rt 14 bus
Overheard by egg. -
It Sounded Better In Her Head
Woman, speaking to a boy on the bus who is reading with his mom: You’re really smart, you must be adopted.
Caucasian mom of boy: Hmmmm, what?
Woman: I mean, is he Chinese?
Mom: No, he’s not adopted.
Woman: Is his dad Chinese?
Mom: His dad is Hispanic.
Woman: Well, you’re still really smart.
Random man, stomping to his seat: WHO GIVES A SHIT?Minneapolis, On the #17 bus
Overheard by Wishing I had my headphones today.
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