Man on the bus: I’m King Kong, Godzilla MOTHERFUCKER! I’m the KING of Lake Street, motherfucker!

#5 Bus heading North from South Minneapolis
Overheard by Jillian.

Rather loud 20-something woman to what seemed like her boyfriend: Gross! Did you even floss?! Oh my God, I’m so blogging about this!

18 bus downtown
Overheard by i’m so not reading that.

Undergraduate female to another undergraduate female: And I, like, totally sleep with my phone in my hand every night and it, like, totally falls out every night!

Campus Commuter bus for the University of Minnesota
Overheard by Graduate student.

Young Dude (on his ex): Yeah, when I was dating her I found myself doing, like, things I didn’t really want to do.
Female Friend: Like?
Young Dude: Like she had a really high sex drive, which, you know, is such a turn off.
Female Friend: (agreement)

17 bus outta downtown
Overheard by yeah, i hate having sex with people i’m dating.

Man to driver on a jam packed 6 bus during rush hour: Man, you can’t be letting any more people on cause its gettin’ kinda tense.

6, bus
Overheard by a more frequent rider.

Ditzy girl, in plain view of the large “Mississippi River” sign: Heyyy, is this the Mississippi? Are we crossing the Mississippi?

Co-op bus to Northfield,  crossing the Mississippi
Overheard by peanut butter.

Woman on cell phone: You’re the only guy in the program I’ve ever had sex with. I mean, most guys in NA are nasty.

Minneapolis, 94 Bus headed East
Overheard by isn’t that against the rules?

Man #1, discussing the future of the economy due to the newly-elected administration: We’re on our way to socialism.
Man #2: There will be equality in everything, even economics.
Man #1: We’ll be like Sweden or Switzerland.  No one will have to steal to get what they need!
Man #2: Crime rates will go way down.
Man #1: In Sweden and Switzerland, everyone has, like, a machine gun in their closet, but they have zero for murder rate.

#17 Bus, Downtown
Overheard by Where’s my machine gun?

Woman on bus to another woman presumably from out of town: Ridgedale is in Richfield, which is due west of here.

#17 Bus
Overheard by Pretty sure Richfield is south of us.

Man hitting on woman on the bus: Girl, where are you from? Cause, I need to know if we’re related.

#9 Bus
Overheard by Colin.

Guy #1: Like, if there’s ever an axe murderer going around killing people, just don’t have sex. For that time period, just don’t do it. And don’t do drugs either.
Guy #2: Yeah, if I was in a slasher film, I wouldn’t get high and wander off from everyone.

Minneapolis, Campus Connector
Overheard by QuoteHobbit.

Very Gay Guy in a Fugly Sweater: Hello dahhhling. I’m doing a session with a man who has 14 kids. Ugh, that’s disgusting! And of course all of them have different babymamas.

16 Bus
Overheard by pocavontas.

U of M guy #1: Columnist, dealer, marine, cranberry.
U of M guy #2: I’ll be a cranberry.

2 bus westbound on a Friday evening
Overheard by these were his career choices?!

U of M girl #1: Did you bring chocolate chips?
U of M girl #2: No.
U of M guy #1 (shocked and dismayed): You didn’t bring chocolate chips?!? Did you bring blueberries?
U of M girl #2: I brought love.
U of M guy #1: Love-cakes.

2 bus westbound on a Friday evening
Overheard by apparently they were on their way to make pancakes.

Girl: So, how is your new place?
Guy: It’s not bad, but we do have squirrels.
Girl: What?
Guy: Yeah, I open the door when I get home and they run away.
Girl: (disgusted face) You should really tell your landlord.
Guy: We did but I’m kind of used to them.

Bus 3
Overheard by Getting used to them???

Man, to bundled up girl who sat down 10 minutes ago: Whoa whoa whoa, you a lady?  I mean, when you sat down, I totally thought you were a man.  I can see you a lady now, but I could’ve sworn…
Girl: Uhmmm yeah, thanks.

Bus 16

Overly cheery U of M girl on crowded bus: (loudly to friend) Soooo, I had a colonoscopy over break.

16 Bus
Overheard by I see you chose not to sit over the wheel.

Monotone Insightful Student: I’m taking this neuroscience class, and so… all we do is neuroscience stuff.

#18 bus
Overheard by Gay Quaker.

Bus driver: So far I haven’t killed anyone yet, knock on wood!

#4 Bus

Preppy college girl, to friend:  She was the girl who would go down on him while lighting his bowl.  She was the perfect girl for him. It’s too bad she went crazy, they would have been so happy together!

Bus #2
Overheard by Burrhead.