Posts Tagged ‘buses’
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When A Star Falls
Man #1: Let me tell you who I am. You remember Married with Children?
Man #2: What?
Man #1: TV show, Married with Children, Al Bundy?
Man #2: Yeah.
Man #1: You remember the black guy on that show, friend of Al Bundy?
Man #2: That was you?
Man #1: No. I played high school basketball with that guy.Minneapolis, Eastbound 21 bus, Lake Street
Overheard by Got His Autograph. -
The First President Under Our Beds
Little boy, in a singsong voice: George Washington, George Washington, he’s gonna eat you. George Washington, George Washington.
Minneapolis, Bus Route 16
Overheard by wooden teeth must work well. -
Close Your Eyes And Throw A Stone
Chess coach to student: Sit down, and I will share with you the mysteries of the world. I will show you where the McDonald’s is.
Minneapolis, Bus on Nicollet Mall
Overheard by I’d like to know where it is too. -
He’ll Try It Once On Every Route
Guy: Have you guys ever seen The Fugitive? Well, I’m bustin’ out of here! (kicks at back door and leaves)
Minneapolis, 21 bus by Cedar
Overheard by lmb. -
At Least He Remembered To Wear One
Baked guy: I’m gonna take off my jacket. Then you’ll all see my fly-ass shirt. Then what will you do?
Friend: Nooo! Don’t do it! Don’t do it!
Baked guy: I’m gonna do it. Oh. Oh. (takes off jacket) Yeeah.Minneapolis, 50 bus
Overheard by it wasn’t even a cool shirt.. -
We’re All Listening Now
Giggly freshman: And he was really nice. He actually listened to me. If I was a guy, I wouldn’t listen to me.
Rosemount, On the bus, at 6:45 in the morning
Overheard by You’re cute and all buuuut… -
That Deserves A Haiku
Early-20′s guy: If I could make one season warmer, I’d choose winter and if I could make one season colder, I’d choose summer.
Early-20′s girl: Yeah.St. Louis Park, Louisiana Transit Park & Ride
Overheard by How long did it take for you to figure that one out, genius? -
The Rainbow Is Not That Tasty
Pre-teen girl, very loudly to friend: You did WHAT to WHOSE mother for HOW many Skittles?!?!
Minneapolis, bus
Overheard by Are you sure it wasn’t M&Ms? -
And You Don’t Have To Wear Nice Clothes
PseudoMarxist #1: I’ve tried religion, but I prefer opium.
PseudoMarxist #2: Plus, that’s cheaper.Minneapolis, on the bus
Overheard by How expensive is your church? -
I Read That In A Medical Journal Once
Young girl to friend: So, after you been with a man and you’re used to your discharge looking one way, and then it’s another way. That’s when you know somethin’ ain’t right.
Minneapolis, on the bus
Overheard by Human Nature. -
I Think We Know How They Broke
Freshmen Girl: Yeah, my glasses broke over break so now they’re super bent, but it’s okay because tomorrow I’m going to the… obs… te… trician?
Freshmen Guy: Optometrist?
Freshmen Girl: Yeah! I don’t know what I just said.
Freshmen Guy: Yeah.Minneapolis, U of M Campus Connector
Overheard by you put your glasses WHERE?? -
Poetry
Old man: Like Prince say, “When dogs cry…”
Young man: That ain’t right.
Old man: That’s what I’m sayin! When a dog cry, somethin ain’t right!
Young man: No. The Prince song. It’s “When Doves Cry.”
Old man: Hell, man, that was a long time ago. I don’t ‘member ‘xactly. Still, when a dog cry, you know somethin’ wrong. When a dog cry, you know somethin’ ain’t right.St. Paul, Bus Route 21, Easbound on Marshall
Overheard by me. -
His Optimism Inspires Me
Man in the seat behind me mumbling to himself: It could be worse. I could be dead, that would be worse. I could be in Spyhouse, that would be better.
Minneapolis, as we pass Spyhouse on a #18 bus
Overheard by Ashley. -
They’re Close
Bus driver on Christmas Eve: I had to call Brian McKnight and tell him to stop playin’ that song “Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow” cuz that man be from LA or Miami, which it never snows. And us folk up here in MN don’t wanna hear it no more!
North Minneapolis, 14 bus
Overheard by Captain. -
None Of Them Are Sanitary
Bus driver: Gotta move to the back, gotta move to the back. A lotta room back there. Santa Claus back there. A lotta gifts.
Minneapolis, 21
Overheard by lmb. -
Give A Man A Cell Phone…
Man shouting into cell phone: I’m on the bus, man. Some dude who looks like Jesus let me use his phone.
Minneapolis, 16 route
Overheard by glad to be on a holy bus. -
I Don’t Think That’s What Oprah Meant
Man with a Southern drawl shouting on his cellphone: Honey, I am telling you, there is NO WAY a man can push a baby out of his unit! (pauses to shake head) I don’t care what you saw on Oprah. There is simply no way that THAT hole can stretch that much!
3A- Eastbound from U of MN, smashed between friendly neighborhood drunk and sleepy student
Overheard by Well if Oprah says its possible… -
Tis The Season
Guy on bus: That’s the last time you’ll see someone not wearing a hat. I waited out there for twenty minutes!
Bus driver: Sir, I’m gonna ask you to step off the bus.
Guy on bus: Why?
Bus driver: You’re bothering everybody!
Guy on bus: I paid my fare.
Bus driver, into microphone: NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO YOU.Minneapolis, Route 4
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Will All That Fit On A Cake?
Girl on phone: Good news! My uterus is a desolate wasteland.
Minneapolis, 17 Bus downtown
Overheard by Another empty uterus. -
They’re All Thinking It
Guy trying to pick up an annoyed-looking woman: Can’t anyone say “hi” anymore? Can’t I get a ”s’up”? A “fuck you”? A “bitch”?
St. Paul, 50 bus
Overheard by friendly greetings.
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