Man #1: Did you get the grill?
Man #2:  What?
Man #1:  (pause)
Man #2:  Are you talking to me?
Man #1:  Is it in your trunk?
Man #3:  I think he’s bluetoothing.
Man #2:  Worst invention ever.  All it does it make people look like they’re crazy, talking to themselves.

St. Paul office
Overheard by LB.

Young woman on cell phone: Who is this? (pause) He is my baby, not my boyfriend! I told you that. (short pause) What’s wrong with you?!?

#5 bus downtown Minneapolis
Overheard by Yikes.

Man yelling into cell phone: Whatever, whatever, whatever… whatever… whatever. You believe what you want to believe. Whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever. Whatever… whatever… whatever… WHATEVER.

Woman on cell phone: Okay kiddo, I’m coming around by the peanuts now!

the ALMONDS stand outside the Metrodome
Overheard by Twins games are the best place to see and hear things.

Suit talking on his cell: Beans? Oh, neat! Like string beans?

Parking Ramp
Overheard by: facinating, tell me more!

Spunky tech-guy with mega-gel-spiked hair answering his phone: Douche-bags-say-what? [brief pause] What?

Office building, Warehouse district
Overheard by you sure got him.

MetroMan talking loudly and angrily on cell phone: I am a VIRGO, and she’s a Scorpio. If she thinks she can STING THIS VIRGO she’s got another thing coming!

LynLake restaurant Patio
Overheard by Poison.

“Gangsta” black man on cellphone: But I wanna spend money! I wanna be Italian and spend money!

Coffman Union, UMN
Overheard by isn’t Italian, but doesn’t mind.

Crazy Woman on cell phone: Yeah you know, I just… I really think we’re meant to be together. I can’t stop thinking about you. I
mean I feel bad I lost you. (brief pause) But I mean I saw this psychic and she said we’re totally meant to be, so yeah. (pause again) Well, I mean if you don’t care that I slept with so many guys while we were together maybe we could try again?

Plane before taking off
Overheard by Aiden.

Teen girl on cell phone: …cuz you’re not a lesbian fan, and I like lesbians. They’re funny.

18 bus
Overheard by um…

Lady on cell phone, on the bus, talking loudly, all for the sake of hearing her own voice: Yeah, they are having a Protestant ceremony at a Catholic church. Which apparently is really rare.

11C
Overheard by Luther’s 96th Thesis.

Man on cellphone: Well, I was going to have my grandma make me one,  but then I divorced her grand-daughter so she never got around to it.

Wayzata Office Building
Overheard by that’ll do it.

Man on cell phone talking to a woman he contacted while incarcerated: Every woman I’ve had a child with I’ve been in a relationship with.

Lightrail to MOA
Overheard by Entertained.

Mid 30’s Female on cell phone: …Yeah, and SHE calls ME the bad friend. She sent me this email telling me that I need help, that I am some type of alcoholic, and my life is like falling apart, and that no one can handle being around me, and that if I don’t STOP my bad behavior that she doesn’t want to be friends any more. What a bitch. She thinks I am a bad friend and says all I ever want to do is go out and get drunk and use her as my sober cab and she has to babysit me.  Do you BELIEVE that? Just cuz she is married and has her perfect little life doesn’t mean that I should change.

Waiting to cross the street, Uptown
Overheard by No, actually it means you should grow up!

Girl on cell phone: I just got done tanning.  I had to take my mind off my period.

3rd & Washington
Overheard by Please Please Keep that to yourself.

Drunk girl walking by on cell phone: Nah, I fled the scene.  I wasn’t sticking around for that shit.  I hopped a couple fences and now I’m going to the CC club. They can kiss my white Irish ass.

22nd and Aldrich
Overheard by you just can’t make this shit up.

Woman on cell phone: Not to be Captain Obvious on this one, but maybe the first sign that you should not have gone home with the guy was that he pretty much thought your name was “hot girl”. And of course the second sign could have been that he was wearing a fuzzy hat in the shape of a cooked turkey.

Caribou Coffee in Eden Prairie

Girl talking loudly on cellphone: …and OMG I saw a black guy run into a door. And it was really funny, because he did the whole ‘I’m black and I overreact to everything to make up for years of oppression against the African race thing’. I laughed SO hard.

Domino’s in Anoka
Overheard by can i get a hell yeah.

Ditsy girl on cell phone really loudly: I’m in line. This is ridiculous, there are, like, 2 cashiers and 1 person in line in front
of me. OMG, did you know they make pineapple poptarts?

Minnehaha/Lake Rainbow
Overheard by The one guy in line.

Loud teen girl on cellphone: Jaime, I’ve been CALLing you! Didn’t you feel it in your pants?

accessories section at Edina Target
Overheard by yikes.