Woman on cell phone with adorable 3 yr old girl: After dragging her up four flights of stairs and this whole fucking ordeal and they’re not even fucking open. (pause) On the bright side my cell phone works here so that made me happy for about two seconds and now I’m fucking pissed again.

NE Minneapolis, Icebox gallery in NKB
Overheard by Suite 286- for todays vocabulary lesson, the f word.

20 something on his cell phone: Yah, I went to rehab for that actually.

Bloomington, Mall of America
Overheard by work is entertaining.

Woman on cell phone: You’re the only guy in the program I’ve ever had sex with. I mean, most guys in NA are nasty.

Minneapolis, 94 Bus headed East
Overheard by isn’t that against the rules?

20 something man on his cell phone: Well, yeah. I was gonna ask her out but then I found out she voted for Obama. (pause) Yeah, she got us into this mess!

White Bear Lake, Gas Station
Overheard by Your vote REALLY counts.

Blond on cell: I think it’s time to chase my dream and my dream is to style hair. I have to get to Iowa as soon as possible and make it happen!

Minneapolis, Dunn Brothers near Loring Park
Overheard by Chai Tea.

Guy on phone: You know I’m gonna change my last name to Obama.

Minneapolis, Target on Nicollet
Overheard by maybe he’s talking about Facebook?

Girl, walking quickly through hall yelling into mobile phone: I don’t know what to do with my life!!

Saint Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by aeh.

Conventioneer, on the phone: The squirrels here are crazy.  They’re, like, as big as our dog!

Minneapolis, Loring Greenway
Overheard by your dog sucks.

Overweight man wearing Star Wars t-shirt, on cell phone: Well, he’d put his proton in her pack, wouldn’t he?

Minneapolis, Starbucks in One Financial Plaza
Overheard by ET.

Girl on cell phone: It’s not that I don’t want to get wasted. I want to get wasted. I just don’t want to get fucked up, you know? So I’m not really sure what to do.

Folwell Hall
Overheard by i have that dilemma often.

Slightly effiminate black man on his cell phone: Uh-uh child. If you’re pregnant, that ain’t my child. You gots to talk to my brother.

Minneapolis, Zipp’s Liquors

Girl on cell phone: Hey Dad. Yeah, I overdrew my checking account. It was just once. (A few minutes later) So, I think I finally figured out what I want to do with my life! Yeah. I want to be a poet. No, dad, let me talk. Let me talk.

MCAD
Overheard by Nylon Jacket.

Young man on cell phone: I think I left mah teef in yo car.

St. Paul, Rice Street White Castle
Overheard by Slider Pilot.

Dad on cell phone after son has been gone for about ten minutes: If you can’t figure it out, then you don’t get no water! Bye!

Stillwater, SAHS Homecoming
Overheard by girl sitting in the isle.

Female student on the phone on the bus: Yeah, I have a little bit of a stomach ache. No mom, I don’t have to poop, I pooped this morning, thanks.

Minneapolis, On a bus near the U
Overheard by Take 2 Pepto And Call Me In The Morning.

Teenage girl on cell phone: Go to Target, they got ‘em two-for-one. No, you buy one and get two… nuh-uh, you only buy the one and get two. No, you GET two when you BUY one. NO, ‘cuz you only gotta buy ONE. NO! You still get two!

Minneapolis, Neighborhood street near Lake Hiawatha
Overheard by Didn’t know the concept was so difficult.

Large young woman on cellphone: Ah gots ta splash him whenever Ah see him, Ah cain’ he’p it.  AH GOTS ta SPLASH him… whenever Ah SEE him… Ah cain’ HE’P it.

4 bus, southbound on Lyndale
Overheard by sxoidmal.

College girl on cell phone:  So, it’s all good ’cause I am just re-using the same guys over and over!  My number doesn’t go up!

Minneapolis, Dinkytown in front of The Steak Knife
Overheard by just eating my pizza.

Very loud, crazy woman on her cell phone (in the middle of the afternoon): CALM DOWN.  I UNDERSTAND. TAKE A SHOT OF TEQUILA AND CALM DOWN.

Eastbound 17 bus
Overheard by I could hear you over my iPod!!!

MCAD Student (on phone): You have worms?  Says who?  You must be shitting me!

Minneapolis, Spyhouse
Overheard by ORLY.