Guy on his cell phone loudly: She’s bangin’ two other guys besides him! And they all know about each other! I wouldn’t want to park my car in her garage if you know what I’m sayin’. Am I being too loud??

Chanhassen, Applebees
Overheard by Yes…just a little.

Extremely upset woman on cell phone: You’re a redundant, ignorant, ghetto, naive bitch.  It is what it is.  You probably don’t even know the meaning of half those words!

Southbound LRT train
Overheard by Burrhead.

Total Fucker On His Cell: Shut up, Grandma! Your fridge isn’t that heavy!

Outside Southdale Mall
Overheard by At least I’m nice to my grandma.

20-something woman talking on cell phone, looking perplexed and bewildered in front of diaper aisle: What size did she need?  Is there a certain brand?  I don’t see that kind.  How big of a pack?  There aren’t any less than 30.
(pause) Yeah, I am not ready to be having kids any time soon.

Blaine Super Target
Overheard by hibbet.

Hot girl on cell phone: Um, why were your boxers in the bathroom trashcan this morning? Ok, well from now on throw them away in the dumpster and maybe, I don’t know, wipe before you decide to do lunges?

Lyndale/Franklyn bus stop
Overheard by Ummm…you could do better.

Super Green business lady on cell phone: I totally care about the environment and all that.  I just don’t have time to!

Loring Park
Overheard by I have time to care!

Wannabe cowboy on cell phone: Dude, I gotta tell you about my STD from the silent film era! (long pause) Okay ready? Okay.  I MADE OUT WITH A CHICK WHO WAS 52 YEARS OLD!

Detroit Lakes, WEfest
Overheard by hope she had a charlie chaplin mustache.

Girl on cell: YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULDN’T GET HIGH ANYMORE! Well, come to the commons and we can make out instead. I’d get your girlfriend to come and make out with you if she wasn’t fuckin’ grounded again. ‘Kay, see you soon.

Excelsior Commons

Middle-aged women on cell phone: So, you know that rash I have? Well, I went to the Doctor and he was like, ‘Good luck!’ (Laughs) I know, I told him I wanted my co-pay back!

Saint Paul Saint’s Game
Overheard by Shouldn’t you be more worried about the rash?!

Man in public bathroom, on cell phone: Umm… sitting at work?

In the men’s bathroom downtown Minneapolis
Overheard by trying to clearly tell the other person on the line that he’s in a bathroom.

Angry middle aged woman on the phone: They’re Jewish criminals! They’ve been stealing children for over 11 years!!

Downtown Target
Overheard by well that was interesting.

Woman on cell phone: Well, I’ve always had a little discharge its normal, but now I got even more coming out!

Hennepin County Public Health Clinic
Overheard by getyoselfchecked.

Obvious Outsider into cell phone: Oh, I’m not sure what part of Minneapolis we’re in. Somewhere in the middle of the woods with a big lake.

Restaurant in Brainerd, MN
Overheard by Indifferent Employee.

Man talking loudly on cell phone: HEY, I heard you have a threesome set up for Saturday! (pauses) Would it be alright if I joined?

Marquette and 6th St.
Overheard by I hope he is refering to golf.

Woman on phone: Hey, remind me when you get that thing on your back checked out to have a look at that other gooey thing. Cuz that’s a boo boo that needs to be checked out right away.

Minneapolis-St Paul airport
Overheard by SCH.

Man #1: Did you get the grill?
Man #2:  What?
Man #1:  (pause)
Man #2:  Are you talking to me?
Man #1:  Is it in your trunk?
Man #3:  I think he’s bluetoothing.
Man #2:  Worst invention ever.  All it does it make people look like they’re crazy, talking to themselves.

St. Paul office
Overheard by LB.

Young woman on cell phone: Who is this? (pause) He is my baby, not my boyfriend! I told you that. (short pause) What’s wrong with you?!?

#5 bus downtown Minneapolis
Overheard by Yikes.

Man yelling into cell phone: Whatever, whatever, whatever… whatever… whatever. You believe what you want to believe. Whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever. Whatever… whatever… whatever… WHATEVER.

Woman on cell phone: Okay kiddo, I’m coming around by the peanuts now!

the ALMONDS stand outside the Metrodome
Overheard by Twins games are the best place to see and hear things.

Suit talking on his cell: Beans? Oh, neat! Like string beans?

Parking Ramp
Overheard by: facinating, tell me more!