Posts Tagged ‘church’
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It’s Been Unseasonably Warm
40 Year Old Wannabe Cougar #1: That little tart’s dress is too short.
40 Year Old Wannabe Cougar #2: There’s nothing like sitting bare assed on a pew.
40 Year Old Wannabe Cougar #1: Amen.Cottage Grove, a wedding
Overheard by The girl in the dress… -
So Go Find Her
Small boy in church childcare: You know, you’re not really the queen of all the land.
Child-care worker (thinking): Did I say last week that I was queen of all the land?
Small boy: Yes.
Child-care worker: Oh, well, see, last week I probably WAS, but they change who gets to hold the title pretty quickly, so in the past few days it got bestowed upon someone else.
Small boy: Oh. That makes sense.Minneapolis, St. Mark’s
Overheard by That’s how you run a country. -
Don’t Fear Their Inevitable Takeover
20-something girl to friends: You know what I discovered the other day? I hate monkeys! I was watching “30 Rock” and they had a pet monkey on there and I was just like, “Oh my gosh, I HATE him!”
Maple Grove, church parking lot
Overheard by And I always thought monkeys were funny. -
You Start Out Feeling Bad For Her
Girl #1: I don’t get it; what’s a bunny have to do with Jesus rising or whatever?
Girl #2: (sarcastically) It’s the Easter bunny because Jesus was carrying a rabbit when he ascended.
Girl #1: Oh, really? That totally makes sense!
Girl #2: (in disbelief) Yes. And we color eggs because… the rabbit hatched from an egg.
Girl #1: No way! God, you’re so smart.
Girl #2: And you’re an idiot.Eagan, St. John Neumann Catholic Church
Overheard by at least you’re trying. -
That Is Really Unfortunate For One Of Them
Teen girl #1: I saw that guy the other day.
Teen girl #2: Oh, the one that looks like my grandma?Saint Paul, St. John’s Church
Overheard by Yeah, he’s a hottie. -
Do I Have To Be Quiet?
Grandmother to squirly grandchild in church: Do you want to go to heaven?
St. Louis Park, Church
Overheard by I hope i get to go… -
Misuse Of “Irony” Is Quickly Advancing To The Top Of The Pet Peeves List
Man at end of line to vote: Oh, sweet irony. I got up extra early to vote, and look at this line!
Woman: How is that ironic?
Man: I said i-ron-y, not ironic.Minneapolis, First Christian Church
Overheard by iron helps us play. -
That Sip Of Wine Was Killer, Man
Newly confirmed 15 year old: Man, hangovers suck.
Minneapolis, Holy Trinity Lutheran Church
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I Listen To Music To Make Potty Time Easier
Teacher: Do you have to go potty?
2-year-old girl: I don’t go potty anymore; I listen to music.Wayzata, Community Church
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Or Cool
One 15 year-old blonde girl to her group of friends: Yeah, it’s been my dream to, like, figure out a really cool word… like cactus!
Roseville, A lutheran church parking lot
Overheard by WTF? -
Have We Learned Nothing From The Beatles?
Little blonde pre-school girl: I’m stronger than Jesus!
River Hills Church in Burnsville
Overheard by Tomorrow’s lesson is on blasphemy. -
Some Problems Require A Machine Gun
3-year-old boy, enthusiastically: When I get home, I’m going to shoot someone!
Sunday school teacher: I don’t think you should do that.
3-year-old boy: With a squirt gun!
Sunday school teacher: Oh, good.
3-year-old boy: AND a machine gun!Wayzata
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Go Ask Your Father
Boy: What does intellectual mean?
Tired Mother: Just shhh.Church in St. Louis Park
Overheard by Kay. -
You’re Not Quite That Lucky
Loud little boy at the end of the Easter service after the pastor dismissed everyone: YAY! School is over!
Berean Baptist Church, Burnsville
Overheard by HA, that’s awesome! -
Beer Pong Is More Satisfying
Pseudo Political Frat Boy#1: Where is she? Is she coming?
Pseudo Political Frat Boy#2: No. She went to play beer pong.
Pseudo Political Frat Boy#1: She went to play beer pong instead of Caucusing?
Pseudo Political Frat Boy#2: Yup. Beer pong is the American Way, much more than Caucusing.
Plymouth Congregational Caucus
Overheard by Beer pongless line waiter. -
Grandma Loses This Round
Sunday School Teacher referring to the new year traditions: Okay kids, what is old, and the same every year?
4 Year old: GRANDMA!?
St. Marks Church In St. Paul
Overheard by nail on the head kid. -
Now You Know You Drink Too Much
4 year-old girl: Are you and Mommy going to Whiskey Junction tonight?
Dad: Unless Grandma’s renamed her house – no.
Christmas Eve mass at St. Peter’s
Overheard by moi. -
Delicious In Potato Soup
Young woman walking out of Christmas Eve mass: When I was in high school, our senior prank was stealing the communion wine. We stole three huge jugs.
2nd young woman walking with her: Did they get the Jesus crackers too?!
Risen Savior Catholic Church, Burnsville
Overheard by Jesus crackers? Really??? -
Will You Be Okay With Wine?
Young child in church, loudly, upon hearing minister mention communion: Bread? Oh good, bread! I’m hungry! Is it beer bread?
A Mankato Church
Overheard by Let’s just ditch this joint and go for breakfast. -
Newspapers Aren’t That Expensive. Pick One Up.
Auctioneer: And here we have some tickets for the Minnesota Lynx against the San Antonio Silver Stars. What is that, hockey?
Madison Lake church
Overheard by Jeanie.
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