It’s Been Unseasonably Warm
40 Year Old Wannabe Cougar #1: That little tart’s dress is too short.
40 Year Old Wannabe Cougar #2: There’s nothing like sitting bare assed on a pew.
40 Year Old Wannabe Cougar #1: Amen.
Cottage Grove, a wedding
Overheard by The girl in the dress…
Small boy in church childcare: You know, you’re not really the queen of all the land.
Child-care worker (thinking): Did I say last week that I was queen of all the land?
Small boy: Yes.
Child-care worker: Oh, well, see, last week I probably WAS, but they change who gets to hold the title pretty quickly, so in the past few days it got bestowed upon someone else.
Small boy: Oh. That makes sense.
Minneapolis, St. Mark’s
Overheard by That’s how you run a country.
Don’t Fear Their Inevitable Takeover
20-something girl to friends: You know what I discovered the other day? I hate monkeys! I was watching “30 Rock” and they had a pet monkey on there and I was just like, “Oh my gosh, I HATE him!”
Maple Grove, church parking lot
Overheard by And I always thought monkeys were funny.
You Start Out Feeling Bad For Her
Girl #1: I don’t get it; what’s a bunny have to do with Jesus rising or whatever?
Girl #2: (sarcastically) It’s the Easter bunny because Jesus was carrying a rabbit when he ascended.
Girl #1: Oh, really? That totally makes sense!
Girl #2: (in disbelief) Yes. And we color eggs because… the rabbit hatched from an egg.
Girl #1: No way! God, you’re so smart.
Girl #2: And you’re an idiot.
Eagan, St. John Neumann Catholic Church
Overheard by at least you’re trying.
That Is Really Unfortunate For One Of Them
Teen girl #1: I saw that guy the other day.
Teen girl #2: Oh, the one that looks like my grandma?
Saint Paul, St. John’s Church
Overheard by Yeah, he’s a hottie.
Grandmother to squirly grandchild in church: Do you want to go to heaven?
St. Louis Park, Church
Overheard by I hope i get to go…
Misuse Of “Irony” Is Quickly Advancing To The Top Of The Pet Peeves List
Man at end of line to vote: Oh, sweet irony. I got up extra early to vote, and look at this line!
Woman: How is that ironic?
Man: I said i-ron-y, not ironic.
Minneapolis, First Christian Church
Overheard by iron helps us play.
That Sip Of Wine Was Killer, Man
Newly confirmed 15 year old: Man, hangovers suck.
Minneapolis, Holy Trinity Lutheran Church
I Listen To Music To Make Potty Time Easier
Teacher: Do you have to go potty?
2-year-old girl: I don’t go potty anymore; I listen to music.
Wayzata, Community Church
One 15 year-old blonde girl to her group of friends: Yeah, it’s been my dream to, like, figure out a really cool word… like cactus!
Roseville, A lutheran church parking lot
Overheard by WTF?
Have We Learned Nothing From The Beatles?
Little blonde pre-school girl: I’m stronger than Jesus!
River Hills Church in Burnsville
Overheard by Tomorrow’s lesson is on blasphemy.
Some Problems Require A Machine Gun
3-year-old boy, enthusiastically: When I get home, I’m going to shoot someone!
Sunday school teacher: I don’t think you should do that.
3-year-old boy: With a squirt gun!
Sunday school teacher: Oh, good.
3-year-old boy: AND a machine gun!
Wayzata
Boy: What does intellectual mean?
Tired Mother: Just shhh.
Church in St. Louis Park
Overheard by Kay.
You’re Not Quite That Lucky
Loud little boy at the end of the Easter service after the pastor dismissed everyone: YAY! School is over!
Berean Baptist Church, Burnsville
Overheard by HA, that’s awesome!
Beer Pong Is More Satisfying
Pseudo Political Frat Boy#1: Where is she? Is she coming?
Pseudo Political Frat Boy#2: No. She went to play beer pong.
Pseudo Political Frat Boy#1: She went to play beer pong instead of Caucusing?
Pseudo Political Frat Boy#2: Yup. Beer pong is the American Way, much more than Caucusing.
Plymouth Congregational Caucus
Overheard by Beer pongless line waiter.
Sunday School Teacher referring to the new year traditions: Okay kids, what is old, and the same every year?
4 Year old: GRANDMA!?
St. Marks Church In St. Paul
Overheard by nail on the head kid.
Now You Know You Drink Too Much
4 year-old girl: Are you and Mommy going to Whiskey Junction tonight?
Dad: Unless Grandma’s renamed her house – no.
Christmas Eve mass at St. Peter’s
Overheard by moi.
Young woman walking out of Christmas Eve mass: When I was in high school, our senior prank was stealing the communion wine. We stole three huge jugs.
2nd young woman walking with her: Did they get the Jesus crackers too?!
Risen Savior Catholic Church, Burnsville
Overheard by Jesus crackers? Really???
Will You Be Okay With Wine?
Young child in church, loudly, upon hearing minister mention communion: Bread? Oh good, bread! I’m hungry! Is it beer bread?
A Mankato Church
Overheard by Let’s just ditch this joint and go for breakfast.
Newspapers Aren’t That Expensive. Pick One Up.
Auctioneer: And here we have some tickets for the Minnesota Lynx against the San Antonio Silver Stars. What is that, hockey?
Madison Lake church
Overheard by Jeanie.
(+23 rating, 33 votes)
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posted on 11-10-2009 church cottage grove 0 Comments 
