Little blonde pre-school girl: I’m stronger than Jesus!

River Hills Church in Burnsville
Overheard by Tomorrow’s lesson is on blasphemy.

3-year-old boy, enthusiastically: When I get home, I’m going to shoot someone!
Sunday school teacher: I don’t think you should do that.
3-year-old boy: With a squirt gun!
Sunday school teacher: Oh, good.
3-year-old boy: AND a machine gun!

Wayzata

Boy: What does intellectual mean?
Tired Mother: Just shhh.

Church in St. Louis Park
Overheard by Kay.

Loud little boy at the end of the Easter service after the pastor dismissed everyone: YAY! School is over!

Berean Baptist Church, Burnsville
Overheard by HA, that’s awesome!

Pseudo Political Frat Boy#1: Where is she? Is she coming?
Pseudo Political Frat Boy#2: No. She went to play beer pong.
Pseudo Political Frat Boy#1: She went to play beer pong instead of Caucusing?
Pseudo Political Frat Boy#2: Yup. Beer pong is the American Way, much more than Caucusing.

Plymouth Congregational Caucus
Overheard by Beer pongless line waiter.

Sunday School Teacher referring to the new year traditions: Okay kids, what is old, and the same every year?
4 Year old: GRANDMA!?

St. Marks Church In St. Paul
Overheard by nail on the head kid.

4 year-old girl: Are you and Mommy going to Whiskey Junction tonight?
Dad: Unless Grandma’s renamed her house - no.

Christmas Eve mass at St. Peter’s
Overheard by moi.

Young woman walking out of Christmas Eve mass: When I was in high school, our senior prank was stealing the communion wine. We stole three huge jugs.
2nd young woman walking with her: Did they get the Jesus crackers too?!

Risen Savior Catholic Church, Burnsville
Overheard by Jesus crackers? Really???

Young child in church, loudly, upon hearing minister mention communion: Bread? Oh good, bread! I’m hungry! Is it beer bread?

A Mankato Church
Overheard by Let’s just ditch this joint and go for breakfast.

Auctioneer: And here we have some tickets for the Minnesota Lynx against the San Antonio Silver Stars. What is that, hockey?

Madison Lake church
Overheard by Jeanie.

Teenage Boy: Blessings on you today!
Teenage Girl: Thank you.
Teenage Boy: Yeah, I know you need ‘em.

After mass at a church in Anoka
Overheard by Guy who immediately thought that was “Overheard” material.

4 year old boy in bibleschool obviously upset: BUT WE’RE AMERICANS, WE DO NOT KILL PEOPLE.

suburban conservative church
Overheard by wondering about the future at stake.

Teen girl, whispering loudly to slouched friend: Look, you can wear those ripped jeans here, but you can’t look strung out!
Slouched friend: Man, what the f–k.

Lynnhurst UCC

At a church daycare, after the service, a 20-something woman handing an infant to the parents: No offense, but she’s rather clingy.

Church
Overheard by Trying not to laugh.

Little Girl: What’s abundance?
Sunday School Teacher: It means a lot of something. What has God given you in abundance?
Little Girl: Cousins!

Calvary Church
Overheard by My sister.

Four-year-old girl about to drink thimble-sized cup of cranberry juice during communion: Mama, is this beer?

church in New Brighton
Overheard by Her embarassed yet amused mother.

Old Man: But isn’t it true? There are more young people than old people?
Old Woman #1: Not anymore! People stopped having so many kids.
Old Woman #2: Except for the immigrants! Thay’ve got litters of ‘em!

Downtown worship place
Overheard by Litter runt.