Posts Tagged ‘clinics’
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Unless He Hasn’t Found That Either
Man, looking for card in his wallet: Why can’t I find it?
Woman at front desk: Because you’re looking for it. As soon as you stop looking for it, you’ll find it. Like a significant other.Minneapolis, VA Medical Center
Overheard by Waiting. -
Especially For Him
Nurse leaving clinic: It’s a good thing we had that trainee in today. That kid had, like, five bags of coke in him. It’s a good learning experience for everyone that way.
Bloomington, a clinic
Overheard by Kay Jay Aye. -
It’ll Be Weird If It’s A Boy
Ghetto gay guy: I’m gonna name my baby Lyric, I swear to god. I knew a Lyric once. Actually her name was Danielle but she was so motherf–king pretty!
Minneapolis, Red Door Clinic
Overheard by Lyric? -
Did She Try To Ride Him?
Receptionist (Wizard of Oz ia playing on the lobby TV): I used to have a dog that looked just like Toto. In fact, we named him Toto. Then he bit me in the face and we had to get rid of him.
Excelsior Teen Clinic
Overheard by D.R.B. -
I’m Sure They’ll Be Thankful
Blonde to receptionist, pointing to a big jar of loose pills: What are you going to do with all those left-over vitamins?
Receptionist: I don’t know? Flush ‘em?
Blonde: You should totally take them to St Anne’s. Homeless people need Vitamin B, too!Minneapolis, Dr’s Office
Overheard by: i think they need homes more than vitamins. -
We May Need A Bigger Needle
Nurse: How are the bowel movements?
Patient: Define bowel movements.
Minneapolis, A clinic -
Save It For The Doctor, Lady
Woman on cell phone: Well, I’ve always had a little discharge its normal, but now I got even more coming out!
Hennepin County Public Health Clinic
Overheard by getyoselfchecked. -
Can’t Hear You Anymore LA LA LA LA LA
Nurse #1: So, this one time I actually hit an artery. You would be surprised how close it is to the vein.
Nurse #2: Really!! What happened?
Nurse #1: It shot across the room.
Nurse #2: Really!!! What did you do?
Nurse #1: I put a bandage on it. I don’t think he died.Waiting to have my blood drawn at the Healthpartners Lab
Overheard by Cart Jockey. -
Then I’m Doing A Good Job At A Lot Of Things
Patient: …and then [Doctor A] gave me a prostate ultrasound. That was definitely a painful experience.
Doctor B: Well, if it hurts, that means he did a good job.Medical Building, 28th and Chicago
Overheard by Is pain the new measure for medical excellence? -
How Many Times Have I Told You That’s Doing It Wrong?
Mother [reading off of clip board]: Are you sexually active?
Angry Teenage Daughter: Define “active”. I mean I just lay there most of the time.
Mother: *stares at her daughter like she has spawned the devil*
Burnsville Family Physicians, Burnsville
Overheard by Oh Wow. -
So Always Wear Your Pants!
Mom in a baby voice: Let’s zip up your coat. Do you want to know how cold it is?
3 year old: How?
Mom in a baby voice: So cold that if you don’t wear your mittens your fingernails will fall off.
Tunnel from Fairview University to parking ramp
Overheard by Scarring children for life. -
Everlasting Bliss
Really Old Wife: What’s the name of the doctor we are seeing?
Really Old Husband: They don’t have names, it is luck of the draw.
Really Old Wife: What are you, stupid? All doctors have names.
Really Old Husband: (Begins to open mouth and then thinks better of it)
Healthpartners Urgent Care
Overheard by Why men die before women. -
Who Gets Buried In A Tux?
Passing Hospital Worker: When am I going to see you in a tux?
Guy Sitting Outside Elevator: You’ll see me in a tux when they’re ready to put me in the ground. But you won’t be able to see me because of the tears in your eyes!
Regions Hospital in Minneapolis
Overheard by A guy in a tux. -
We All Love A Heartwarming Tale Around The Holidays
Hospital Tech: Back in the day when my grandmother found out she was pregnant with her last child, she threw herself in front of a bus!
Co-worker: Oh my god, did she die?
Hospital Tech: No! But Aunt Carol came out a little weird.
North Memorial Hospital
Overheard by Krissy. -
Can I Get My Stitches In Pink?
ER Doctor: So, I see you had an exciting night at the bar.
Drunk girl bleeding from the head: Obviously.
ER Doctor: Maybe you shouldn’t wear such tall shoes.
Drunk girl bleeding from the head: Dr. Fischer, are you going to be my dad or my doctor!? Now sew me up because I have VIP tonight!
HCMC
Overheard by Maybe she got a band-aid to match her shoes. -
She Should Be Up For A Raise.
6 yo sister advocating for baby brother to high strung mom: We feel like it’s your job to make babies cry!
Chanhassen Park Nicollet Clinic
Overheard by Glad I’m not the only one with that job. -
Like, Doy.
Very drunk bum checking into ER around 1AM: I have this pain in my chest. It’s really bad I can’t stand it. Oh, it hurt so bad. I think I’m having a heart attack.
Nurse: How long has it been like this?
Very drunk bum: Umm…since 8 AM.
Nurse: Why didn’t you come in earlier?
Very drunk bum: Well, I had to get drunk first.
Regions Hospital -
That Goes Double For You Whiny Patients!
RN to Young Guy in Scrubs: Why are you talking to me? Don’t talk to me. See, you don’t really work here. There ought to be a rule! People who don’t really work here can’t talk to people who do.
North Memorial Hospital
Overheard by Caffeine Queen. -
She Should Enjoy Them While They Last.
Woman: She’s twelve and she’s already having candlelight dinners.
Abbott Northwestern Hospital
Overheard by girl in scrubs. -
Why Didn’t You Just Say So?!
Cute little boy: Are we going to 5?
His mom: No, we’re going to 8.
Cute little boy: Well I want to go to 5.
His mom: Nope, 8.
Cute little boy: (pause) Can we go to 5?
His mom: The ice cream is on 8.
Cute little boy: Oh.
hospital elevator
Overheard by I wanna go to 8 too.
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