Mother: Stop calling him that, it’s not a very nice name!
4-year old boy: What’s not a very nice name?
Mother: Chunky.
4-year old boy: But his name is Chunky.
Mother: No it’s not, it’s Thomas.

Isles Bun & Coffee, Uptown
Overheard by thankfully, not Thomas’ mother.

Somewhat Self-Important Woman: I didn’t grow up with your values, you know, be Minnesota nice, get a job and be productive. No, my values where I grew up were that you had to be really smart, you had to do a lot of drugs, and you had to have orgasms. But if you don’t know what they are, don’t worry, honey.

Gingko Cafe, St. Paul
Overheard by i hope it was a first date.

White (looking) guy to other white (looking) guy: When I eventually say, “My dad’s from Iraq”, it’s almost an immediate, “You’re undatable.”

Caffetto
Overheard by You wouldn’t be undatable to me… if you weren’t a dude.

Wife, walking over to where husband is sitting: It really smells farty over here.
Husband: Really? I wish I didn’t have this cold so I could smell and taste better.

Coffee shop in St. Cloud
Overheard by No you don’t.

Girl #1: Know what grave I would love to visit?
Girl #2: Abraham Lincoln’s?
Girl #1: No.  George W. Bush’s grave.  So I can piss on it.

Caffetto
Overheard by Right on sistah!

Dude: I think crematoriums are great places for sick people. Let God sort them out.

Muddy Waters
Overheard by way to be compassionate, buddy.

Hungover guy: Yeah man, so it was all good until I got so drunk that I pissed in my oven.

Outside Muddy Waters
Overheard by Hah!

Blonde:  I’m STARVING!  But I’m really not hungry.
Friend: That doesn’t make sense.
Blonde: I know, but it’s how I feel!

Gustavus coffee shop
Overheard by just let it out.

Dumb Girl #1: Yah, a commuter rail to Big Lake… maybe putting it through to Chicago would be better.
Dumb Girl #2 extremely serious: Well, it would take forever to build and by that time there will be, like, flying saucers.
Dumb Girl #1 still serious: True, yah, probably.

Nina’s Coffee Shop
Overheard by ChaiT.

Large loud talker in Saturday a.m. knitting group: When I was in Connecticut and I said I wanted a pop, John said, “My dad’s dead.”

Black Bear Coffee Shop, Como Lake
Overheard by latte noise.

One Coffee shop attendant to another: Hey, I don’t want to go in any deeper, just brace your self on that ledge there.

Overflow Espresso Cafe
Overheard by Paul Escalante.