Posts Tagged ‘coffee shops’
Counter Clerk: I am just sprewing knowledge, guys.
Minneapolis, Starbucks, Block E
Overheard by sxoidmal.
College girl #1: Maybe you’re the milkman’s daughter.
College girl #2: I’m lactose intolerant; I’m definitely not the milkman’s daughter.
St. Paul, Cosmic’s Coffee
Overheard by QuoteRadar.
Departing Obnoxious Man to Woman: Yeah, I gotta hit the john and then I’ll see you later.
Minneapolis, Dinkytown Espresso Royale
Overheard by HELLO HELLO YOUR CELL PHONE.
Mom to friends: With a kind heart, in a nonjudgemental fashion I passionately told Jane’s mom how ill behaved her child was.
Overheard by biting my tongue.
20 something guy, reading movie section of the paper: Mr. T. Do you know Mr. T?
20 something girl: No.
20 something guy: He’s this awesome guy who was on this show in the 80′s. It was called the A-Team. I think they made a movie of it.
20 something girl: Oh.
20 something guy: But he’s not in the movie, so let’s not go see it.
Bloomington, Penn Ave Caribou
Overheard by just here to use the net.
Woman talking about counter tops with her husband: I love granite because I LOVE rocks!
St. Louis Park, Starbucks
Overheard by A barista who doesn’t quite share the same enthusiasm.
Man #1: Well, what would you do if a teenage boy came to your door tonight and asked to take your daughter out?
Man #2: I would rip his head off.
Man #1: No, I’m serious.
Man #2: I am, too. My daughter is eight years old. If a teenage boy comes to my house tonight I will rip his head off and put it on a spike in the front lawn.
Overheard by You go, vigilante soccer dad!
Guy with full sleeve: I’m going to title my book, “I Just Pooped: The Fecund Life I Live.”
Minneapolis, Muddy Waters
Overheard by concerned patron.
40-year-old woman to her friend: My mother smoked when she was breast feeding me, so it is entirely possible that I will die of lung cancer.
Minneapolis, coffee house
Overheard by Coffee Drinker.
Loud guy, to girl in lobby: Hey, you’re sort of a little hottie! Too bad we’re related.
Saint Paul, Cafe Latte
Overheard by QuoteRadar.
Strung out older man on cell: His name is Orgasm. I was drunk when I named him.
Minneapolis, Muddy Waters, 24th and Lyndale
Overheard by you could rename him.
Girl to Friend: They take out my ball and clean it, like, every two months. It gets really dirty.
Minneapolis, Dunn Bros. Freight House
Overheard by Glad You Were Holding Your Blackberry While Saying This.
Freshman male: What language are you taking this year?
Freshman female: German and American Sign Language.
Freshman male: Oh wow! So you can speak sign language in German?!
Minneapolis, Uncommon Grounds
Overheard by How did he get to college?
Woman: I’ll buy your drink.
Man: Oh thanks, I’ll leave the tip.
Woman: You don’t have to. I never tip. It’s a policy I have.
Minneapolis, Bordertown Coffee
Overheard by Who makes your policies?
College Girl #1: I know I have a big ass. I’m okay with it.
College Girl #2: Yeah, it’s pretty desirable now-a-days.
Overheard by HAH!
Teenage Girl (sarcastically): Yeah, he’s such a revolutionary, just like Che Guevara.
Teenage Boy: Che Guevara? You mean the Dog Whisperer?
Stillwater, Dunn Brothers
20-something girl on cell phone: No mom, I can’t collect unemployment; I didn’t get laid off. (pause) It’s not unemployment. Teachers don’t work in the summer because there are no kids to teach.
Minneapolis, Spyhouse Coffee
Overheard by Maybe she could qualify as a bank for TARP funds?
Teenage girl #1: I wish I would have been the first person to invent the airplane, ever!
Teenage girl #2: I want to be the first person to invent a working hover-craft.
Teenage girl #1: What is that, a frisbee?
Golden Valley, Starbucks
Overheard by Yes. Yes it is.
Coffee shop patron on mobile phone: You know what another word for ridiculous is? Painstaking. Why? Because it’s painful.
Minneapolis, Diamonds Coffee Shop
Overheard by aeh.
Coffeeshop Patron: They don’t shoot dogs from their roofs in the city. They capture them.
Minneapolis, Diamonds Coffee Shoppe
Overheard by js.