One sluttily dressed girl to another, 3 yards away, above a blaring jukebox: Oh man, I had some really raunchy farts last night.

Coon Rapids, Lindee’s Bar
Overheard by thanks for sharing. really.

Blonde girl: Can vegetarians eat french fries?
Her friend: What?
Blonde Girl: Well, they usually come with hamburgers, right?

Coon Rapids, Anoka Ramsey Community College
Overheard by Did she really just ask what I think she asked?

Professor: America has a terrible problem with nipples.

Coon Rapids, Anoka Ramsey Community College
Overheard by tru dat?

Kid in Hallway: You won’t, won’t, won’t (stutter) wanna meet my mom. (long pause) She’s desperate.

Coon Rapids, Anoka Ramsey Community College
Overheard by Boy who doesn’t hate everything.

Happy little boy looking at dog collars: We should get a collar for our dog!!!
Kid’s dad, matter-of-factly: We don’t have a dog.

Coon Rapids, Old Navy
Overheard by poor kid.

Teacher (to class): Yeah, we have locks on the doors now; it’s part of our new security system.

Coon Rapids, ARCC
Overheard by why am i not surprised this is community college?

Man #1: I hate the Middle East.
Man #2: Yeah. We should just nuke that island.

in a Menards in Coon Rapids
Overheard by amazed and frightened.

Coach (yelling at player on field): You’re not doing anything standing by #2!

Coon Rapids Soccer Tournament
Overheard by The Elderly Multigravida.

Coach (yelling at player on field): Hey, Gabriel, get it up!

Coon Rapids Soccer Tournament
Overheard by The Elderly Multigravida.

Female co-worker: Once you’ve had Sonic… mmmmm!!

Office in Coon Rapids
Overheard by Wow, get out more.

Ditzy blonde twenty-something:  I’m so annoyed of this day.

An office in Coon Rapids
Overheard by Nice use of prepositions.

Kid with mom in dressing room: Mommy, I see your boobs!

Target, Coon Rapids
Overheard by Another shopper.

Hot Girl #1: Man, it’s been way too long since I’ve gotten any ass; it’s ridiculous.
Hot Girl #2: *in a sing-song voice* How ridiculous is it?
Hot Girl #1: *legitimately angry* So ridiculous that I might punch you in the ovaries if you say shit like that again!

Coon Rapids Target
Overheard by I’m getting all your ass mwuhahaha!

Husband to wife as they were in the check-out line (with cart full of groceries and FOUR gallons of bleach): Wait, I need some more bleach. I like my shirts CLEAN!

Coon Rapids ALDI
Overheard by Likes ‘em white too.