Man #1: I hate the Middle East.
Man #2: Yeah. We should just nuke that island.

in a Menards in Coon Rapids
Overheard by amazed and frightened.

Coach (yelling at player on field): You’re not doing anything standing by #2!

Coon Rapids Soccer Tournament
Overheard by The Elderly Multigravida.

Coach (yelling at player on field): Hey, Gabriel, get it up!

Coon Rapids Soccer Tournament
Overheard by The Elderly Multigravida.

Female co-worker: Once you’ve had Sonic… mmmmm!!

Office in Coon Rapids
Overheard by Wow, get out more.

Ditzy blonde twenty-something:  I’m so annoyed of this day.

An office in Coon Rapids
Overheard by Nice use of prepositions.

Kid with mom in dressing room: Mommy, I see your boobs!

Target, Coon Rapids
Overheard by Another shopper.

Hot Girl #1: Man, it’s been way too long since I’ve gotten any ass; it’s ridiculous.
Hot Girl #2: *in a sing-song voice* How ridiculous is it?
Hot Girl #1: *legitimately angry* So ridiculous that I might punch you in the ovaries if you say shit like that again!

Coon Rapids Target
Overheard by I’m getting all your ass mwuhahaha!

Husband to wife as they were in the check-out line (with cart full of groceries and FOUR gallons of bleach): Wait, I need some more bleach. I like my shirts CLEAN!

Coon Rapids ALDI
Overheard by Likes ‘em white too.