Angry, crazy man: I know what he’s tryin’ to do. He’s advertising my pocket! And trying to get in my pocket! But I ain’t one of his gay boys, know what I’m sayin’?

Minneapolis, 4 bus, southbound on Hennepin Ave
Overheard by sxoidmal.

Woman walking through Rice Park, expounding to the world in general: When push comes to shove, some people commit suicide. Are you lucky? Do you feel lucky? Russian roulette?

St. Paul, Rice Park
Overheard by Not feeling that lucky.

Crazy Bum (to teens standing in line for Too Much Love): Do you all have sex diseases?

Minneapolis, First Ave
Overheard by seriously?

Guy in plaid flannel cap and matching vest: A free range compass is happier than a caged compass.

6 Bus
Overheard by Thx, Mr. Bus driver for listening to this guy the whole time.

Preacher man at bus stop: Tampons! Dirty, filthy tampons! Your good deeds are no better than dirty tampons!

Minneapolis, Union St. and Washington Ave, U of M Campus

Old Lady to another old lady:  Well, you know the Antichrist is going to use the government to control us.  That’s what those TV converter boxes are for.

Minneapolis, 4 bus
Overheard by lmb.

Crazy guy, after talking to himself for 30 minutes: If you take a man away from his writing, you have left that man naked.

Minneapolis, 6 Bus
Overheard by Do NOT make eye cantact with  crazy people.

Minneapolis bus regular: I goin’ down to Lake Street. But I ain’t got no money. I can’t go to the liquor store and I can’t go to Sunny’s. SOUTHSIDE TILL I DIE. YOU ALL SOUTHSIDE. WE ON THE FIIIVE. I GOT FIIIVE ON IT!

5 Bus
Overheard by I can only dream of being as Southside as you.

Crazy woman on mobile phone: I need to go wherever you go and do whatever you do. I am getting rid of everything that is distracting me from you. You will NOT go to Colorado without me.

17, Bus
Overheard by WOW! and another reason why not to talk to people on the Bus.

Woman: Do you believe in taking books apart?
Bookstore guy: Excuse me?
Woman: I was clear.  Will you deliver my purchase?
Bookstore guy: Well, if you pull your car up I can help you load them into your car, ma’am.
Woman: (hand on a stack of about 40 knitting books counting one dollar bills) How much are these?  (proceeds to pick out the only the pages she intends to pay for)
Bookstore guy: Um…
Woman:  How do I pull a car up?
Bookstore guy: Well…
Woman:  I don’t own a car.

Minneapolis, Uptown bookstore
Overheard by NOT a believer of book disection today…

Woman who has never touched a computer before: I need some information on the behavior of cats. Can you help me find that on computer?
Librarian: (pulls up Google)
Crazy woman: NO! Not Google. They follow you everywhere and know everything about you! I won’t go there!
Librarian: This is where to search for information online. Or there are books I can get you.
Crazy woman: I’m looking for information.
Librarian: Books have information too.

Minneapolis, Downtown Public library
Overheard by People at the library are awesome.

Disoriented lady breathing on glass door of entrance to building and fogging it up, while muttering: The fuckers are after me, they’re going to get me! (turns and WALKS away while muttering) I better RUN, I better RUN!!

Minneapolis, Outside Oracle Building downtown

Crazy guy to random woman leaving the bus: Wheres my money, bitch? Wine and cheese are coming over, and I need my money. Je-DA-sus.

6 Bus

Crazy 50 year old man, loudly: Maybe I’ll just roam the country and be a philosopher! (15 second silence) Hey, where’s this bus going, anyway? And that’s a philosophical question!

Minneapolis, 16 bus
Overheard by foucault.

Guy (sitting down at a table with a group of girls he doesn’t know): Hey guys? Can I eat here? Thanks.
Girl #1 (trying to be nice): So, what’s your major?
Guy: English, but I’m thinking of changing to Spanish.
Girl #2: Oh. That’s sweet.
Guy: Or is it sour?
Girls: Uh…
Guy: Or what’s not bitter? Or salty? Or tangy?
Girl #2 whispers to girl #1: Seriously?
Guy: Or maybe spicy? Or bland? Yeah, I usually run out after eight taste buds.

U of MN dining hall
Overheard by painful to listen to.

Woman ranting to bus driver: Someone has been texting me all day and he wants to take me to Las Vegas. I don’t know who he is and whether he is telling the truth. So, I’m going to find out who it is. I just want to go home and lie down, but I have to pick up my medication first.

12, bus
Overheard by Please take  your medication.

Man, to 20-something blonde girl: Hey! Can I get your autograph?
Girl: Um, me?
Man: Yeah! You’re Princess Diana right?
Girl: No, she died when I was in 7th grade.
Man: But you look just like her.
Girl: Um, sorry?

16 bus
Overheard by Prince Charles.

Burnt out old man to information lady: *babbling*  Yeah, I’m, like, French, and Scottish, and South American. BUT NOT MEXICAN! I am South American, NOT Mexican.
Information lady: Ohhh yeah, well, I’m Mexican.
Old man: Oh…

Minneapolis, Wells Fargo in uptown
Overheard by I dont think he even knows he is in a bank.

Guy at the counter buying lottery tickets: Can I get two Powerballs?
Crazy woman standing next to him in line: If you win, you have to buy me a windmill.

Minneapolis, Zipp’s Liquors
Overheard by It might not be long, but it’s got the circumfrence of a soup can.

30-something to his girlfriend: Don’t look at my penis when I’m a squirrel!

Uptown
Overheard by Oh Nuts.