7th July 2008

That ATM Is Broken

Woman using ATM (to nobody in particular): Syphilis! Syphilis! Syphilis! Syphilis!

Taste of MN

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6th July 2008

He Might Enjoy That

Man with American flag sticking out of his backpack: It’s against the law to eat on the bus, isn’t that right, driver?
Bus Driver: Are you serious?
Man: Yeah, I’m serious!
Woman with drink: I’ll spill this drink all over that chair and make you sit your ass on it!

16 Bus into downtown

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2nd June 2008

Who Do You Have In Mind?

Guy on the bus who sat next to me even though there were plenty of other seats: I am going to go kill somebody today.

On bus 23 to Uptown
Overheard by I wish I had a car.

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14th May 2008

Don’t Tell Her But I Totally Stole One Of Them

Woman: I got 50 personalities, but only three have been diagnosed. I got all the others in my pocket so nobody can take ‘em away!

21A bus
Overheard by …don’t think they’re going anywhere.

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12th May 2008

Hell Yeah, I Love Muffins

Crazy old woman: Come get the muffins, I gotta beat the rain.

St. Paul, Lincoln Ave.
Overheard by a silly girl.

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16th April 2008

This Guy Gets A Lot Of Loogies In His Hamburgers

Man, picking up bilingual maraca toy for kids: Ooo!  Your people use these! [turns to Asian woman next to him, she glares] Huh.  They are both Spanish and English! Gonna get a lot of new workers for McDonalds outta these.

Downtown Target
Overheard by Disbelieving ears.

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15th April 2008

You Will Not Take Me Alive, Fancy Windbreaker!

Girl walking toward the parking ramp at bar time: Windbreaker, fancy windbreaker goddammit, fancy windbreaker, fancy windbreaker.

Hennepin Ave. and Lake Street, Uptown Minneapolis
Overheard by I know exactly what you mean.

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15th April 2008

He’s Already Had Too Much Sugar

Loud crazy dude in front of bus: It’s my birthday! It’s my birthday! Bubble gum, bubble gum in a ditch, how many pieces do you want?  I want a tootsie roll, a hot dog and a penny!  Tootsie roll! Tootsie roll!  Bubble gum, bubble gum in a dish, how many pieces do you want?  I want a now ‘n’ later, and a jolly rancher.

number 12 bus
Overheard by I like candy, too.

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28th March 2008

Happy Friday, Everyone!

Crazy man, at the top of his voice as he boards quiet bus: Repent! Repent all ye sinners and turn to the Lord Jesus Christ! Today is the day to repent! Today is the day to turn to Jesus! Repent! Repent! *begins handing out tracts*
Extremely small lesbian in front row: GET THAT SHIT OUTTA MY FACE!!!!
6 year old girl: What did that lady say?
Her mother: She didn’t want to take one, honey.

14A bus
Overheard by Haddayr Copley-Woods.

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