Posts Tagged ‘crazies’
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Next Teller, Please
Burnt out old man to information lady: *babbling* Yeah, I’m, like, French, and Scottish, and South American. BUT NOT MEXICAN! I am South American, NOT Mexican.
Information lady: Ohhh yeah, well, I’m Mexican.
Old man: Oh…Minneapolis, Wells Fargo in uptown
Overheard by I dont think he even knows he is in a bank. -
Not Until I Buy One For Myself
Guy at the counter buying lottery tickets: Can I get two Powerballs?
Crazy woman standing next to him in line: If you win, you have to buy me a windmill.Minneapolis, Zipp’s Liquors
Overheard by It might not be long, but it’s got the circumfrence of a soup can. -
How About Your Nuts?
30-something to his girlfriend: Don’t look at my penis when I’m a squirrel!
Uptown
Overheard by Oh Nuts. -
Dry Lips Are Wack
Crazy black lady: I’m up here with Osama Bin Laden with that man’s terrorist force. I don’t get why people be hatin’ on that man, ya’know? (A few minutes later, talking to her drunk neighbor) Can I get some of your beer? My lips are dry I did some bad crack earlier. I’m just kidding, but seriously, that was some bad shit.
Minneapolis, Outside apartment building
Overheard by Freya… I just wanted to spend my 21st birthday in peace. -
Time To Up The Dosage
Man downtown (screaming to himself): Get the f**k away from my head, you bald headed fu**ing b*tch.
Downtown Minneapolis on Nicollet Mall
Overheard by great, he’s walking towards me! -
This Is Why They Shouldn’t Raise The Fares
Grungy guy to random woman: I’m the gayest.
Woman: Uh-huh.
Guy: That’s what I call myself “the Gayest.”
Woman: Uh… neat?
Guy: Right now I’m going to go get me a rainbow belt, and then I’m gonna get a tattoo of a rainbow that leads to a pot of gold. But instead of gold, it will be Skittles and it will say “taste the rainbow.”12 bus in uptown
Overheard by …what does that even mean? -
Along With Everyone Else
Crazy guy to random stranger and her kids: You know what I see? I see three beautiful women.
Woman, slightly annoyed: This one’s a boy.
Crazy guy: Really? You need a haircut. So, you’re a boy, huh?
Androgynous little boy: Bah! (tries to punch crazy man)
Crazy guy: I guess he just wants to be left alone.The 67 in Saint Paul
Overheard by I bet you get that a lot. -
That ATM Is Broken
Woman using ATM (to nobody in particular): Syphilis! Syphilis! Syphilis! Syphilis!
Taste of MN
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He Might Enjoy That
Man with American flag sticking out of his backpack: It’s against the law to eat on the bus, isn’t that right, driver?
Bus Driver: Are you serious?
Man: Yeah, I’m serious!
Woman with drink: I’ll spill this drink all over that chair and make you sit your ass on it!16 Bus into downtown
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Who Do You Have In Mind?
Guy on the bus who sat next to me even though there were plenty of other seats: I am going to go kill somebody today.
On bus 23 to Uptown
Overheard by I wish I had a car. -
Don’t Tell Her But I Totally Stole One Of Them
Woman: I got 50 personalities, but only three have been diagnosed. I got all the others in my pocket so nobody can take ‘em away!
21A bus
Overheard by …don’t think they’re going anywhere. -
Hell Yeah, I Love Muffins
Crazy old woman: Come get the muffins, I gotta beat the rain.
St. Paul, Lincoln Ave.
Overheard by a silly girl. -
This Guy Gets A Lot Of Loogies In His Hamburgers
Man, picking up bilingual maraca toy for kids: Ooo! Your people use these! [turns to Asian woman next to him, she glares] Huh. They are both Spanish and English! Gonna get a lot of new workers for McDonalds outta these.
Downtown Target
Overheard by Disbelieving ears. -
You Will Not Take Me Alive, Fancy Windbreaker!
Girl walking toward the parking ramp at bar time: Windbreaker, fancy windbreaker goddammit, fancy windbreaker, fancy windbreaker.
Hennepin Ave. and Lake Street, Uptown Minneapolis
Overheard by I know exactly what you mean. -
He’s Already Had Too Much Sugar
Loud crazy dude in front of bus: It’s my birthday! It’s my birthday! Bubble gum, bubble gum in a ditch, how many pieces do you want? I want a tootsie roll, a hot dog and a penny! Tootsie roll! Tootsie roll! Bubble gum, bubble gum in a dish, how many pieces do you want? I want a now ‘n’ later, and a jolly rancher.
number 12 bus
Overheard by I like candy, too. -
Happy Friday, Everyone!
Crazy man, at the top of his voice as he boards quiet bus: Repent! Repent all ye sinners and turn to the Lord Jesus Christ! Today is the day to repent! Today is the day to turn to Jesus! Repent! Repent! *begins handing out tracts*
Extremely small lesbian in front row: GET THAT SHIT OUTTA MY FACE!!!!
6 year old girl: What did that lady say?
Her mother: She didn’t want to take one, honey.14A bus
Overheard by Haddayr Copley-Woods.
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