4 year old son, whining: But Dad…
Dad: No, no one is going to rob Target.

Apple Valley, Target
Overheard by Don’t think I don’t want to.

Disgruntled dad, to kid running around: Get over here, stay with the rest of the group! You’ll be kidnapped! Hopefully.

Saint Paul, Rice Park
Overheard by Burrhead.

Son: Beat it, Michael Jackson!
Father: If you ever say that to me again you’re going to an orphanage.

Apple Valley, MN Zoo

Dad to 6 year old son: I got a busy night tonight. See all these shells? I gotta put them in my shotgun.

Apple Valley, Walmart
Overheard by Tara.

6 year old boy to his dad: What’s that yellow ladder for? (gesturing toward the foul pole)
Dad: Oh, that’s so they can change the light bulbs.

Metrodome, Twins game
Overheard by well how else would they change them?

Toddler: Daddy, Daddy! It’s Grandpa!!
Daddy: What? Where?
Toddler: Right there!! (points at TV.)
Daddy: No, buddy, that’s Brett Favre.

Crystal, Buffalo Wild Wings
Overheard by Ironic, who wonders if he could be his grandpa….

Hot dad to 5-yr-old daughter spanking him hard repeatedly: I said gently.

Minneapolis, Kowalski’s
Overheard by saint ramer.

Son, maybe about 7 years old: Noooooobody knows the trouble I’ve seen. Nooooooobody knows the trouble I’ve seen.
Dad: C’mon, we need to get going.
Son: (hits head with hand) But Dad, I’m so distracted!

Plymouth, Target
Overheard by The burbs get me down sometimes too.

Daughter: Daddy, were you always a daddy?
Father: What do you mean?
Daughter:  Were you ever a mommy?
Father: No, I’ve always been a daddy.
Daughter: Are you SURE?
(pause)
Father: I’m pretty sure.

Eagan, Wal-Mart
Overheard by She clearly suspects something…

Harassed-looking dad, to the child who is NOT crying:  So, you’re trying to tell me that your little brother bit himself?
Not-crying child:  Yes.

Richfield, Target
Overheard by sounds plausible to me.

Father, to little boy who’s crying in the grocery cart: I do not know who this “mom” person is you speak of.

Minneapolis, Lunds
Overheard by oooh, future therapist bills just got higher.

Overstressed-looking dad to teenage son: You know, maybe you should start seeing a therapist for this. ‘Cause you know what happens to kids who don’t go to see a therapist when they really ought to? They go crazy. CRAZY. And I mean, REALLY crazy. CRAZY! CRAAAAAZY! YOU DON’T WANT TO END UP LIKE THAT, DO YOU? NOOOOO! ‘CAUSE THAT WOULD BE CRAAAAAAZY!

Woodbury, Lifetime Fitness
Overheard by you’re one to talk…

Dad to 8 and 10 year old:  If we came home and the house was burned, what would we have left in this world?
8 year old:  The new car?
10 year old:  No, dummy, we would have each other.

Edina, Office building
Overheard by thankful for firefighters.

Little Boy: What if I check a girl? What if I knock a girl down?
Mom: Why would you check a girl? They’re on YOUR team.
Little Boy: I don’t know. It would be an accident, but what’s going to happen if I check a girl?
Dad: If the girls want to play with the boys, LAY THEM OUT!

Friendly Fridley, Key’s Cafe
Overheard by Sticky Buns.

Mother waiting in line to pay with her sons and husband: Boys, did you see that little girl over there? Wasn’t she cute?
Little boy #1: Yeah!
Little boy #2: She was a girl!!
Husband: Yes, she was a girl.
Little boy #2: And I’m a BOY!
Little boy #1: Me too!!
Husband: Oh really? And HOW do you know that you’re boys?
Little boys #1 and #2: WE HAVE GONADS!
Husband: YAY!!

Woodbury, Sam’s Club
Overheard by made MY day.

Daughter: Dad, can we have Mello Yellow to drink?
Father: No, too much caffeine. Well, I suppose we’re dropping you off at your aunt Kathy’s. Go ahead.

Eden Prairie, Subway, Anderson Lakes Pkwy
Overheard by D.R.B.

Man in stall, on the phone: Yeah man,yYou need to see a psychologist or psychiatrist. Who ever can give you drugs for this. (pause) Yeah kids can make you go crazy. I understand. (walks out of stall with his 8 year old son and starts washing hands; still on phone).
Son: I love you, Dad.
Man still on phone, ignores child: Kids; yeah, I’ve got my hands full.

Roseville, Rosedale AMC Theather’s Men’s Restroom
Overheard by Just trying to pee.

Father to two-year old: Are you a Cézanne or a Van Gough?

Minneapolis Institute of Arts
Overheard by van gough myself.

Small child: Hey, dad, can we take the quarters out of the fountain?
Father: Not now. That’s what we do after dark when we put our ski masks on.

Mall of America
Overheard by Rappeling from the ceiling for spare change.

Middle aged man in Museum to his pre-teen daughter: Ask the fancy people, they must know.

Minneapolis, MIA
Overheard by Fancy people ALWAYS know.