Posts Tagged ‘dads’

  • It’s The Only Reason I Go To Rosedale

    Date: 2012.06.28 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Guy pushing stroller: (satisfied sigh)
    Lady with him: What was that?
    Guy: Just a personal tradition.
    Lady: Huh?
    Guy: I totally just crop-dusted Abercrombie and Fitch.

    Roseville, Rosedale Mall
    Overheard by Me too man.

  • Or Any Other Balls

    Date: 2011.04.26 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Father to child at the goat pen at the farm: You can pet him, but don’t touch his eyeballs.

    Apple Valley, Minnesota Zoo
    Overheard by iwastoldtherewouldbebacon.

  • Put A Muzzle On It First

    Date: 2010.07.18 | Category: all | Response: 0

    4-year-old boy with cat on leash: DAD!
    Dad: What?
    Boy: Come here!
    Dad: NO!

    Minneapolis, Uptown, Dupont Ave
    Overheard by Hmmm.

  • At Least He Knows It

    Date: 2010.06.06 | Category: all | Response: 1

    Kid, across the street:  Dad, can you hear me?
    Dad: NO!
    Kid: Dad, are you too drunk to do Kung Fu moves?
    Dad: I’m too drunk to shoot a motherfucker, I know that.

    North Minneapolis neighborhood
    Overheard by the Right to bear arms…and children?

  • It Requires A Mullet

    Date: 2010.06.02 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Dad, to son about a Playstation game: Do you know what the “E” stands for on the game?
    4 year old son: Everyone!
    Dad: Good job. What about “T?”
    4 year old son: Teen?
    Dad: Yep. How about “M?”
    4 year old son: (pauses) MacGruber!!!

    St. Paul – Highland Park, Garage sale
    Overheard by Still laughing at this creative little guy!

  • Repeat As Necessary

    Date: 2010.05.03 | Category: all | Response: 1

    Dad to two little boys (4 and 6): If a stranger asks you to go somewhere, what do you do? Kick him in the balls.

    Blaine, Culvers
    Overheard by Jason.

  • Dad Is Such A Buzzkill

    Date: 2010.01.17 | Category: all | Response: 0

    4 year old son, whining: But Dad…
    Dad: No, no one is going to rob Target.

    Apple Valley, Target
    Overheard by Don’t think I don’t want to.

  • Feel All That Cheer In The Air

    Date: 2009.12.06 | Category: all | Response: 1

    Disgruntled dad, to kid running around: Get over here, stay with the rest of the group! You’ll be kidnapped! Hopefully.

    Saint Paul, Rice Park
    Overheard by Burrhead.

  • He’s Just Grieving

    Date: 2009.09.05 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Son: Beat it, Michael Jackson!
    Father: If you ever say that to me again you’re going to an orphanage.

    Apple Valley, MN Zoo

  • And I’m Really Slow At It

    Date: 2009.08.31 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Dad to 6 year old son: I got a busy night tonight. See all these shells? I gotta put them in my shotgun.

    Apple Valley, Walmart
    Overheard by Tara.

  • He Forgot His “Baseball For Dummies” At Home

    Date: 2009.08.25 | Category: all | Response: 0

    6 year old boy to his dad: What’s that yellow ladder for? (gesturing toward the foul pole)
    Dad: Oh, that’s so they can change the light bulbs.

    Metrodome, Twins game
    Overheard by well how else would they change them?

  • Are You Sure?

    Date: 2009.08.23 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Toddler: Daddy, Daddy! It’s Grandpa!!
    Daddy: What? Where?
    Toddler: Right there!! (points at TV.)
    Daddy: No, buddy, that’s Brett Favre.

    Crystal, Buffalo Wild Wings
    Overheard by Ironic, who wonders if he could be his grandpa….

  • Let’s Not Make This Weirder

    Date: 2009.06.19 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Hot dad to 5-yr-old daughter spanking him hard repeatedly: I said gently.

    Minneapolis, Kowalski’s
    Overheard by saint ramer.

  • And Now I Have To Sing The Song Again

    Date: 2009.06.10 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Son, maybe about 7 years old: Noooooobody knows the trouble I’ve seen. Nooooooobody knows the trouble I’ve seen.
    Dad: C’mon, we need to get going.
    Son: (hits head with hand) But Dad, I’m so distracted!

    Plymouth, Target
    Overheard by The burbs get me down sometimes too.

  • Is It My Purse?

    Date: 2009.06.08 | Category: all | Response: 1

    Daughter: Daddy, were you always a daddy?
    Father: What do you mean?
    Daughter:  Were you ever a mommy?
    Father: No, I’ve always been a daddy.
    Daughter: Are you SURE?
    (pause)
    Father: I’m pretty sure.

    Eagan, Wal-Mart
    Overheard by She clearly suspects something…

  • I’m Telling You He Likes It, Dad

    Date: 2009.05.25 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Harassed-looking dad, to the child who is NOT crying:  So, you’re trying to tell me that your little brother bit himself?
    Not-crying child:  Yes.

    Richfield, Target
    Overheard by sounds plausible to me.

  • You Were Hatched

    Date: 2009.05.19 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Father, to little boy who’s crying in the grocery cart: I do not know who this “mom” person is you speak of.

    Minneapolis, Lunds
    Overheard by oooh, future therapist bills just got higher.

  • And There’s Your Proof

    Date: 2009.05.07 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Overstressed-looking dad to teenage son: You know, maybe you should start seeing a therapist for this. ‘Cause you know what happens to kids who don’t go to see a therapist when they really ought to? They go crazy. CRAZY. And I mean, REALLY crazy. CRAZY! CRAAAAAZY! YOU DON’T WANT TO END UP LIKE THAT, DO YOU? NOOOOO! ‘CAUSE THAT WOULD BE CRAAAAAAZY!

    Woodbury, Lifetime Fitness
    Overheard by you’re one to talk…

  • It’s Like A Disney Movie

    Date: 2009.04.16 | Category: all | Response: 1

    Dad to 8 and 10 year old:  If we came home and the house was burned, what would we have left in this world?
    8 year old:  The new car?
    10 year old:  No, dummy, we would have each other.

    Edina, Office building
    Overheard by thankful for firefighters.

  • Listen To Your Mother

    Date: 2009.04.06 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Little Boy: What if I check a girl? What if I knock a girl down?
    Mom: Why would you check a girl? They’re on YOUR team.
    Little Boy: I don’t know. It would be an accident, but what’s going to happen if I check a girl?
    Dad: If the girls want to play with the boys, LAY THEM OUT!

    Friendly Fridley, Key’s Cafe
    Overheard by Sticky Buns.