Posts Tagged ‘dads’
-
Or Any Other Balls
Father to child at the goat pen at the farm: You can pet him, but don’t touch his eyeballs.
Apple Valley, Minnesota Zoo
Overheard by iwastoldtherewouldbebacon. -
Put A Muzzle On It First
4-year-old boy with cat on leash: DAD!
Dad: What?
Boy: Come here!
Dad: NO!Minneapolis, Uptown, Dupont Ave
Overheard by Hmmm. -
At Least He Knows It
Kid, across the street: Dad, can you hear me?
Dad: NO!
Kid: Dad, are you too drunk to do Kung Fu moves?
Dad: I’m too drunk to shoot a motherfucker, I know that.North Minneapolis neighborhood
Overheard by the Right to bear arms…and children? -
It Requires A Mullet
Dad, to son about a Playstation game: Do you know what the “E” stands for on the game?
4 year old son: Everyone!
Dad: Good job. What about “T?”
4 year old son: Teen?
Dad: Yep. How about “M?”
4 year old son: (pauses) MacGruber!!!St. Paul – Highland Park, Garage sale
Overheard by Still laughing at this creative little guy! -
Repeat As Necessary
Dad to two little boys (4 and 6): If a stranger asks you to go somewhere, what do you do? Kick him in the balls.
Blaine, Culvers
Overheard by Jason. -
Dad Is Such A Buzzkill
4 year old son, whining: But Dad…
Dad: No, no one is going to rob Target.Apple Valley, Target
Overheard by Don’t think I don’t want to. -
Feel All That Cheer In The Air
Disgruntled dad, to kid running around: Get over here, stay with the rest of the group! You’ll be kidnapped! Hopefully.
Saint Paul, Rice Park
Overheard by Burrhead. -
He’s Just Grieving
Son: Beat it, Michael Jackson!
Father: If you ever say that to me again you’re going to an orphanage.Apple Valley, MN Zoo
-
And I’m Really Slow At It
Dad to 6 year old son: I got a busy night tonight. See all these shells? I gotta put them in my shotgun.
Apple Valley, Walmart
Overheard by Tara. -
He Forgot His “Baseball For Dummies” At Home
6 year old boy to his dad: What’s that yellow ladder for? (gesturing toward the foul pole)
Dad: Oh, that’s so they can change the light bulbs.Metrodome, Twins game
Overheard by well how else would they change them? -
Are You Sure?
Toddler: Daddy, Daddy! It’s Grandpa!!
Daddy: What? Where?
Toddler: Right there!! (points at TV.)
Daddy: No, buddy, that’s Brett Favre.Crystal, Buffalo Wild Wings
Overheard by Ironic, who wonders if he could be his grandpa…. -
Let’s Not Make This Weirder
Hot dad to 5-yr-old daughter spanking him hard repeatedly: I said gently.
Minneapolis, Kowalski’s
Overheard by saint ramer. -
And Now I Have To Sing The Song Again
Son, maybe about 7 years old: Noooooobody knows the trouble I’ve seen. Nooooooobody knows the trouble I’ve seen.
Dad: C’mon, we need to get going.
Son: (hits head with hand) But Dad, I’m so distracted!Plymouth, Target
Overheard by The burbs get me down sometimes too. -
Is It My Purse?
Daughter: Daddy, were you always a daddy?
Father: What do you mean?
Daughter: Were you ever a mommy?
Father: No, I’ve always been a daddy.
Daughter: Are you SURE?
(pause)
Father: I’m pretty sure.Eagan, Wal-Mart
Overheard by She clearly suspects something… -
I’m Telling You He Likes It, Dad
Harassed-looking dad, to the child who is NOT crying: So, you’re trying to tell me that your little brother bit himself?
Not-crying child: Yes.Richfield, Target
Overheard by sounds plausible to me. -
You Were Hatched
Father, to little boy who’s crying in the grocery cart: I do not know who this “mom” person is you speak of.
Minneapolis, Lunds
Overheard by oooh, future therapist bills just got higher. -
And There’s Your Proof
Overstressed-looking dad to teenage son: You know, maybe you should start seeing a therapist for this. ‘Cause you know what happens to kids who don’t go to see a therapist when they really ought to? They go crazy. CRAZY. And I mean, REALLY crazy. CRAZY! CRAAAAAZY! YOU DON’T WANT TO END UP LIKE THAT, DO YOU? NOOOOO! ‘CAUSE THAT WOULD BE CRAAAAAAZY!
Woodbury, Lifetime Fitness
Overheard by you’re one to talk… -
It’s Like A Disney Movie
Dad to 8 and 10 year old: If we came home and the house was burned, what would we have left in this world?
8 year old: The new car?
10 year old: No, dummy, we would have each other.Edina, Office building
Overheard by thankful for firefighters. -
Listen To Your Mother
Little Boy: What if I check a girl? What if I knock a girl down?
Mom: Why would you check a girl? They’re on YOUR team.
Little Boy: I don’t know. It would be an accident, but what’s going to happen if I check a girl?
Dad: If the girls want to play with the boys, LAY THEM OUT!Friendly Fridley, Key’s Cafe
Overheard by Sticky Buns. -
And How Do They Know She’s A Girl?
Mother waiting in line to pay with her sons and husband: Boys, did you see that little girl over there? Wasn’t she cute?
Little boy #1: Yeah!
Little boy #2: She was a girl!!
Husband: Yes, she was a girl.
Little boy #2: And I’m a BOY!
Little boy #1: Me too!!
Husband: Oh really? And HOW do you know that you’re boys?
Little boys #1 and #2: WE HAVE GONADS!
Husband: YAY!!Woodbury, Sam’s Club
Overheard by made MY day.
more oim
