Posts Tagged ‘dads’
Guy pushing stroller: (satisfied sigh)
Lady with him: What was that?
Guy: Just a personal tradition.
Guy: I totally just crop-dusted Abercrombie and Fitch.
Roseville, Rosedale Mall
Overheard by Me too man.
Father to child at the goat pen at the farm: You can pet him, but don’t touch his eyeballs.
Apple Valley, Minnesota Zoo
Overheard by iwastoldtherewouldbebacon.
4-year-old boy with cat on leash: DAD!
Boy: Come here!
Minneapolis, Uptown, Dupont Ave
Overheard by Hmmm.
Kid, across the street: Dad, can you hear me?
Kid: Dad, are you too drunk to do Kung Fu moves?
Dad: I’m too drunk to shoot a motherfucker, I know that.
North Minneapolis neighborhood
Overheard by the Right to bear arms…and children?
Dad, to son about a Playstation game: Do you know what the “E” stands for on the game?
4 year old son: Everyone!
Dad: Good job. What about “T?”
4 year old son: Teen?
Dad: Yep. How about “M?”
4 year old son: (pauses) MacGruber!!!
St. Paul – Highland Park, Garage sale
Overheard by Still laughing at this creative little guy!
Dad to two little boys (4 and 6): If a stranger asks you to go somewhere, what do you do? Kick him in the balls.
Overheard by Jason.
4 year old son, whining: But Dad…
Dad: No, no one is going to rob Target.
Apple Valley, Target
Overheard by Don’t think I don’t want to.
Disgruntled dad, to kid running around: Get over here, stay with the rest of the group! You’ll be kidnapped! Hopefully.
Saint Paul, Rice Park
Overheard by Burrhead.
Son: Beat it, Michael Jackson!
Father: If you ever say that to me again you’re going to an orphanage.
Apple Valley, MN Zoo
Dad to 6 year old son: I got a busy night tonight. See all these shells? I gotta put them in my shotgun.
Apple Valley, Walmart
Overheard by Tara.
6 year old boy to his dad: What’s that yellow ladder for? (gesturing toward the foul pole)
Dad: Oh, that’s so they can change the light bulbs.
Metrodome, Twins game
Overheard by well how else would they change them?
Toddler: Daddy, Daddy! It’s Grandpa!!
Daddy: What? Where?
Toddler: Right there!! (points at TV.)
Daddy: No, buddy, that’s Brett Favre.
Crystal, Buffalo Wild Wings
Overheard by Ironic, who wonders if he could be his grandpa….
Hot dad to 5-yr-old daughter spanking him hard repeatedly: I said gently.
Overheard by saint ramer.
Son, maybe about 7 years old: Noooooobody knows the trouble I’ve seen. Nooooooobody knows the trouble I’ve seen.
Dad: C’mon, we need to get going.
Son: (hits head with hand) But Dad, I’m so distracted!
Overheard by The burbs get me down sometimes too.
Daughter: Daddy, were you always a daddy?
Father: What do you mean?
Daughter: Were you ever a mommy?
Father: No, I’ve always been a daddy.
Daughter: Are you SURE?
Father: I’m pretty sure.
Overheard by She clearly suspects something…
Harassed-looking dad, to the child who is NOT crying: So, you’re trying to tell me that your little brother bit himself?
Not-crying child: Yes.
Overheard by sounds plausible to me.
Father, to little boy who’s crying in the grocery cart: I do not know who this “mom” person is you speak of.
Overheard by oooh, future therapist bills just got higher.
Overstressed-looking dad to teenage son: You know, maybe you should start seeing a therapist for this. ‘Cause you know what happens to kids who don’t go to see a therapist when they really ought to? They go crazy. CRAZY. And I mean, REALLY crazy. CRAZY! CRAAAAAZY! YOU DON’T WANT TO END UP LIKE THAT, DO YOU? NOOOOO! ‘CAUSE THAT WOULD BE CRAAAAAAZY!
Woodbury, Lifetime Fitness
Overheard by you’re one to talk…
Dad to 8 and 10 year old: If we came home and the house was burned, what would we have left in this world?
8 year old: The new car?
10 year old: No, dummy, we would have each other.
Edina, Office building
Overheard by thankful for firefighters.
Little Boy: What if I check a girl? What if I knock a girl down?
Mom: Why would you check a girl? They’re on YOUR team.
Little Boy: I don’t know. It would be an accident, but what’s going to happen if I check a girl?
Dad: If the girls want to play with the boys, LAY THEM OUT!
Friendly Fridley, Key’s Cafe
Overheard by Sticky Buns.