Posts Tagged ‘dads’
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You Should Only Do This If You’re Not Getting Them Back
Daughter: Dad, can we have Mello Yellow to drink?
Father: No, too much caffeine. Well, I suppose we’re dropping you off at your aunt Kathy’s. Go ahead.Eden Prairie, Subway, Anderson Lakes Pkwy
Overheard by D.R.B. -
You Can Do Something About That
Man in stall, on the phone: Yeah man,yYou need to see a psychologist or psychiatrist. Who ever can give you drugs for this. (pause) Yeah kids can make you go crazy. I understand. (walks out of stall with his 8 year old son and starts washing hands; still on phone).
Son: I love you, Dad.
Man still on phone, ignores child: Kids; yeah, I’ve got my hands full.Roseville, Rosedale AMC Theather’s Men’s Restroom
Overheard by Just trying to pee. -
This Could Get Awkward
Father to two-year old: Are you a Cézanne or a Van Gough?
Minneapolis Institute of Arts
Overheard by van gough myself. -
Bring Your Kid To Work Day
Small child: Hey, dad, can we take the quarters out of the fountain?
Father: Not now. That’s what we do after dark when we put our ski masks on.Mall of America
Overheard by Rappeling from the ceiling for spare change. -
Oh, I Know
Middle aged man in Museum to his pre-teen daughter: Ask the fancy people, they must know.
Minneapolis, MIA
Overheard by Fancy people ALWAYS know. -
Whatever, I Look Great As A Banana
Small child to her dad: Dad, who would want to be a banana for Halloween?
Bored dad of small child: A baby who doesn’t know any better.Mankato, Halloween store @ the mall
Overheard by good point. -
Sneaky, But Not Sneaky Enough
Dad, to little girl holding Pez: We’re not getting the Pez. No way.
Little girl: Why not, daddy?
Dad, half mumbling: Because you have two fucking cavities in your front teeth.
Little girl: What about for Morgan?
Dad: No.
Little girl: Well, why not for her?Minneapolis, Sentyrz Supermarket
Overheard by aeh. -
The Power Of Suggestion Is Not So Powerful
Happy little boy looking at dog collars: We should get a collar for our dog!!!
Kid’s dad, matter-of-factly: We don’t have a dog.Coon Rapids, Old Navy
Overheard by poor kid. -
In Fact, It’s All Downhill From 3
Father to 3 year old son: Life is hard, suck it up.
Plymouth, Dance Studio
Overheard by i guess he’s got to learn sometime… -
It’s A Water Fountain, Isn’t It?
Dad on cell phone after son has been gone for about ten minutes: If you can’t figure it out, then you don’t get no water! Bye!
Stillwater, SAHS Homecoming
Overheard by girl sitting in the isle. -
You Could Always Leave Them There
Little boy to redneck dad: Thanks for taking us to the fair even though you’re broke.
Little girl to redneck dad: Flllaaatttt broke!
Redneck dad, embarrassingly: Yeah, yeah…MN State Fair, Waiting to get on the 960 bus.
Overheard by That makes two of us… -
We’re Not Here For Fun, Kid!
Small Child: That ride looks fun, Daddy!
Dad: So what?MN State Fair
Overheard by I Hate kids too. -
Until Next Year…
Serious 3-year old girl: Daddy, try not to step in the poop.
Mockingly serious dad: Yes, try not to step in the poop.MN State Fair Animal Barn
Overheard by smiled anyway when I heard her, too. -
And My Backpack Isn’t Magic
Little 6-yr-old blond boy, walking away from tiger exhibit: Boy, I sure am hungry.
Dad: We brought snacks.
Boy: Well, what kind of snacks do you got in that backpack?
Dad: Lots of snacks.
Boy: What kind of snacks?
Dad: What kind of snacks would you like?
Boy: I want ice cream. You got any ice cream in that backpack?
Dad: No.
Boy: Well, why not? How come you didn’t bring any ice cream in your backpack?
Dad, under his breath: Because I knew you’d want some.
Apple Valley, Minnesota Zoo
Overheard by Amber. -
A Conversation For A Special Occasion
Middle-Aged Dad to daughter: Have I told you about the transvestites in San Francisco?
MOA
Overheard by Jane Leroy. -
Welcome To The Fair!
Little kid in wagon, pointing to the ground: Daddy, what’s that?
Dad, pulling wagon, clearly exhausted: That’s horse poop, kid.MN State Fair
Overheard by Way to tell it like it is. -
It’s That Time Of Year Again!
Dad to loud four-year-old girl: You’re supposed to be tired at this time of day.
Girl: Why?
Dad: Because of all the walking.
Girl: Blah, blah, blah, who cares.Shuttle bus back from the State Fair
Overheard by she sure told him. -
That’s One Way To Solve It
Dad to son: Buddy, you have to breathe. You can’t hold your breath forever.
Son: No! I’m never going to breathe again. I hate it!
Dad: …Sounds good.Fridley, Lifetime Fitness Pool
Overheard by kaybay. -
It’s What We All Want
Father: She wants some lovin’, doesn’t she?
Son: No, she wants a cookie.Lake Harriet beach
Overheard by i like cookies too. -
Maybe Not When You’re Looking
6-year-old girl: Daddy, I’m scared!
Dad: Of what?
Girl: All the shavers!
Dad: You’re scared of them?
Girl: Yes, they scare me.
Dad: (picks up electric razor and puts it in girls face) Muahahaha!
Girl: Ahhhhhh! Daddy I’m scared of them!
Dad: (puts electric razor down) Hahahaha!
Girl: Daddy, it’s not funny. I’d rather be with mommy… she doesn’t do scary things.Razor/deodorant aisle at Walmart, St. Anthony
Overheard by a.lil.
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