Guy: If you’re into action, into night life, go to Minneapolis. But it’s a bit rougher of a crowd.

St Paul, Great Waters
Overheard by Ed.

Bleach blond poser dude: I want to be Oprah’s son. I should write a letter to her show so she will adopt me.

St. Paul, Jamba Juice on Grand
Overheard by: Sounds like a plan.

Girl #1: Some people find you a little abrasive.
Girl #2: What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!

Edina, Fuddruckers
Overheard by AP.

Man talking on his phone to his doctor’s office: So, you said it’s how much to see the doctor? (pause) What do you mean it’s based on education? (pause) Do you have someone I could see who is maybe just thinking about going to medical school?

Bloomington, Green Mill
Overheard by He’s onto something.

20-something guy to 20-something girl: Can you imagine if we had, like, a second World War 2?

Chanhassen, Perkins

Female Goth: It’s really expensive being gothic.
Male Goth: What are you talking about? No, it’s not.
Female Goth: Well, that’s easy for you to say, you just have to put on black jeans and a black t-shirt.

Minneapolis, Sunny Side Up Cafe
Overheard by Q.

Man: It’s like a kegstand, only with meat!

Minneapolis, Fogo de Chao
Overheard by Burrhead.

Group of rich loud people talking about their vacation: Why do these animals keep running in front of my gun?!

Minneapolis, Fuji Ya
Overheard by masago.

Bartender to Customer: My daughter could pee standing up for the first five years of her life.

Minneapolis, Acadia
Overheard by fly on the wall.

20’s something girl: O-M-G I totally feel like a gold digger; I’m going on a date with a 37 year old whose TOTALLY loaded. But hey, who knows, maybe he’ll pay off my student loans!
20’s something male friend: Or maybe you’ll fall in love.
20’s something girl: Ummm you did hear me say he’s 37, didnt you?

Bloomington, Subway on Lyndale
Overheard by some women are crazy.

Grandma: I just got new hearing aids.
Father (Son of Grandma): How are they working?
Grandma: (no response)
Father: Mom? Are they working?
Grandma: That’s nice.
Son (Grandchild): I think that’s your answer.

Burnsville, Red Lobster
Overheard by What did you say?

Third wheel man to couple: So, tell me about when you guys first had sex.

Minneapolis, a fancy restaurant
Overheard by couldn’t this wait until AFTER i brought your food?

Bald dude sipping red wine: We tried to make love but she was big and things just weren’t working.

Minneapolis, Pizza Luce Uptown
Overheard by OMG Who Says “Make Love”?

Bro: I had sex with Tom Brokaw’s daughter at camp.

Minneapolis, Pizza Luce Uptown
Overheard by omg lam, did you hear that?

Guy eating burrito: Man, I love this shit like white folks love they dogs.

South Minneapolis, Pepito’s on Nicollet
Overheard by That IS some good sh*t.

Server: Another Blue Moon?
Large man: Nah, I am really full.
Server: Yeah, my dad always says there’s a porkchop in every beer! (awkward silence) He’s from Montana. (walks away)

Mall of America, Rainforest Cafe’
Overheard by My family.

Man in 40s: I didn’t use the Milk of Magnesia.
Woman in 40s: Why not?
Man in 40s: I forgot to put it in the fridge, so I thought it must have gone bad. 
Woman in 40s: Oh… wait, what?

Robbinsdale, Athens Cafe
Overheard by Ironic.

Girl in bathroom stall: I work with this girl named Panda.  No, Pandy.  Well, she thinks she’s a panda and she’s not.  And she’s NOT cool.

Minneapolis, Key’s Cafe
Overheard by Big Sister is Listening.

Very drunk guy: I need some Bisquick. What if I get lonely?

Minneapolis, Gangchen
Overheard by Critty.

Early 20s woman: She was like, “Oh, stoners are for Obama. I don’t want to vote for him anymore. A cripple is better than a hippie stoner.”
Early 20s man: Well, I guess now we know that America is run by hippies and stoners.

Minneapolis, Old Spaghetti Factory
Overheard by Weren’t elections 5 months ago?