When The Robots Take Over, This Will Be True.

One semi-stupid middle-aged guy to another: Brain cells are expendable. Computer programming isn’t.

U chem lab hallway
Overheard by Totally.


random submission, originally posted 11-17-2006

Especially In Uptown

Posted by oim | Posted in all | Posted on 30-06-2009

0

Guy: If you’re into action, into night life, go to Minneapolis. But it’s a bit rougher of a crowd.

St Paul, Great Waters
Overheard by Ed.

I’ve Already Tried That And It Didn’t Work

Posted by oim | Posted in all | Posted on 28-06-2009

0

Bleach blond poser dude: I want to be Oprah’s son. I should write a letter to her show so she will adopt me.

St. Paul, Jamba Juice on Grand
Overheard by: Sounds like a plan.

I Take It Back

Posted by oim | Posted in all | Posted on 26-06-2009

0

Girl #1: Some people find you a little abrasive.
Girl #2: What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!

Edina, Fuddruckers
Overheard by AP.

Sure, Come On Over

Posted by oim | Posted in all | Posted on 23-06-2009

0

Man talking on his phone to his doctor’s office: So, you said it’s how much to see the doctor? (pause) What do you mean it’s based on education? (pause) Do you have someone I could see who is maybe just thinking about going to medical school?

Bloomington, Green Mill
Overheard by He’s onto something.

We Might Even Have To Come Up With A New Name For It

Posted by oim | Posted in all | Posted on 23-06-2009

0

20-something guy to 20-something girl: Can you imagine if we had, like, a second World War 2?

Chanhassen, Perkins

Did Hot Topic Raise Their Prices?

Posted by oim | Posted in all | Posted on 20-06-2009

0

Female Goth: It’s really expensive being gothic.
Male Goth: What are you talking about? No, it’s not.
Female Goth: Well, that’s easy for you to say, you just have to put on black jeans and a black t-shirt.

Minneapolis, Sunny Side Up Cafe
Overheard by Q.

Sign Me Up!

Posted by oim | Posted in all | Posted on 19-06-2009

0

Man: It’s like a kegstand, only with meat!

Minneapolis, Fogo de Chao
Overheard by Burrhead.

This Is Not The Hunting Trip I Signed Up For

Posted by oim | Posted in all | Posted on 16-06-2009

0

Group of rich loud people talking about their vacation: Why do these animals keep running in front of my gun?!

Minneapolis, Fuji Ya
Overheard by masago.

Just Not In The Toilet

Posted by oim | Posted in all | Posted on 08-06-2009

0

Bartender to Customer: My daughter could pee standing up for the first five years of her life.

Minneapolis, Acadia
Overheard by fly on the wall.

He Practically Has Alzheimer’s!

Posted by oim | Posted in all | Posted on 03-06-2009

0

20’s something girl: O-M-G I totally feel like a gold digger; I’m going on a date with a 37 year old whose TOTALLY loaded. But hey, who knows, maybe he’ll pay off my student loans!
20’s something male friend: Or maybe you’ll fall in love.
20’s something girl: Ummm you did hear me say he’s 37, didnt you?

Bloomington, Subway on Lyndale
Overheard by some women are crazy.

She Didn’t Say She Was Wearing Them

Posted by oim | Posted in all | Posted on 31-05-2009

0

Grandma: I just got new hearing aids.
Father (Son of Grandma): How are they working?
Grandma: (no response)
Father: Mom? Are they working?
Grandma: That’s nice.
Son (Grandchild): I think that’s your answer.

Burnsville, Red Lobster
Overheard by What did you say?

Maybe You Should Introduce Yourself First

Posted by oim | Posted in all | Posted on 29-05-2009

0

Third wheel man to couple: So, tell me about when you guys first had sex.

Minneapolis, a fancy restaurant
Overheard by couldn’t this wait until AFTER i brought your food?

Or He Said ‘Make Love’ Out Loud And She Kicked Him Out

Posted by oim | Posted in all | Posted on 29-05-2009

0

Bald dude sipping red wine: We tried to make love but she was big and things just weren’t working.

Minneapolis, Pizza Luce Uptown
Overheard by OMG Who Says “Make Love”?

Does She Know That?

Posted by oim | Posted in all | Posted on 29-05-2009

1

Bro: I had sex with Tom Brokaw’s daughter at camp.

Minneapolis, Pizza Luce Uptown
Overheard by omg lam, did you hear that?

He’s Going To Knit It A Sweater?

Posted by oim | Posted in all | Posted on 26-05-2009

0

Guy eating burrito: Man, I love this shit like white folks love they dogs.

South Minneapolis, Pepito’s on Nicollet
Overheard by That IS some good sh*t.

New Marketing Idea!

Posted by oim | Posted in all | Posted on 25-05-2009

0

Server: Another Blue Moon?
Large man: Nah, I am really full.
Server: Yeah, my dad always says there’s a porkchop in every beer! (awkward silence) He’s from Montana. (walks away)

Mall of America, Rainforest Cafe’
Overheard by My family.

Some Of Us Read The Instructions On The Back, Some Of Us Don’t

Posted by oim | Posted in all | Posted on 24-05-2009

0

Man in 40s: I didn’t use the Milk of Magnesia.
Woman in 40s: Why not?
Man in 40s: I forgot to put it in the fridge, so I thought it must have gone bad. 
Woman in 40s: Oh… wait, what?

Robbinsdale, Athens Cafe
Overheard by Ironic.

Maybe That’s Why She Wants To Be A Panda

Posted by oim | Posted in all | Posted on 24-05-2009

0

Girl in bathroom stall: I work with this girl named Panda.  No, Pandy.  Well, she thinks she’s a panda and she’s not.  And she’s NOT cool.

Minneapolis, Key’s Cafe
Overheard by Big Sister is Listening.

Nothing Can Cure That Kind Of Lonliness

Posted by oim | Posted in all | Posted on 18-05-2009

0

Very drunk guy: I need some Bisquick. What if I get lonely?

Minneapolis, Gangchen
Overheard by Critty.

Always Has Been

Posted by oim | Posted in all | Posted on 13-05-2009

0

Early 20s woman: She was like, “Oh, stoners are for Obama. I don’t want to vote for him anymore. A cripple is better than a hippie stoner.”
Early 20s man: Well, I guess now we know that America is run by hippies and stoners.

Minneapolis, Old Spaghetti Factory
Overheard by Weren’t elections 5 months ago?