Early-20s woman: (laughing merrily) I don’t usually overdraft much, but I overdrafted like 16 times last month.

downtown Minneapolis Target store
Overheard by …and she was SHOPPING.

Coworker: I love my moist muffins!

225 S. 6th St. Minneapolis, MN 12th floor
Overheard by F U U F U.

Girl in huge black “punk” shorts: Dude, I can’t reach the bottom of my pockets!

5th & Cedar
Overheard by Burrhead.

Cute brunette #1: I really think you should wait awhile before you go all the way with this guy.
Cute brunette #2: Dude, for sure! I’m going to wait a decent amount of time before I sleep with him.
Cute brunette #1 (smirking): What, like a week?
Cute brunette #2 (in a serious tone): No! Like two weeks.

Hennepin and 4th St.
Overheard by Good for you!

Supervisor: Well you have to go to “Write Better Correspondence” seminar.
Male Coworker: I have a Degree in English! Why do I need to go?
Supervisor: You must be the only person with an English Degree who doesn’t know how to communicate.

UBS Tower in Downtown St. Paul
Overheard by at least I’m not the only person who can’t understand him…

Blonde co-worker: So, like, is CO2 what makes Helium balloons float?
Brunette co-worker: Yeah, it must be. (long pause) Wait!! HELIUM is what makes Helium balloons float!

Downtown Advertising Agency
Overheard by brunettes struggling to keep it just one step ahead.

Very large woman in line (staring at menu board which clearly does not list chicken wild rice as a soup option): Um, I’ll have a bowl of chicken wild rice.
Employee: I’m sorry ma’am, we don’t have that today.
Very large woman: You don’t have it?  You always have it!
Employee: I’m sorry, we don’t have it today.
Very large woman: So you’re saying I can’t get chicken wild rice today?!
Employee (looking a bit bewildered): Yes, that’s what I’m saying.
Very large woman: This is bullshit!  I’m going to McDonald’s!
Very large woman’s friend (to employee): I am so sorry.

DT St Paul Macy’s Marketplace
Overheard by It must be frustrating to maintain that weight.

Girl #1 in aisle looking at condoms: So, do you know what I did? I just waited till he fell asleep and got hard, then I looked under the sheets to see how big he was! Is that bad?
Girl #2: Um, yeah that’s pretty bad. How was he?
Girl #1: Well, I married him didn’t I?

Downtown Target
Overheard by Does he have any brothers?

Young Lady #1: You know, there are a bunch of blind people staying in the hotel.
Young Lady #2: Yeah, well that explains why my TV had closed captions on it.

Lobby of the Four points Sheraton
Overheard by The boy your mom warned you about.

Man (who at one time, wanted to be Zak Efron), speaking to his wife: There’s something about being able to walk into a store and buy a gun, a samuri sword and a bottle of liquor.

225 S. 6th Street, 12th floor
Overheard by way to be a badass!

Non-employee randomly standing in our hallway talking on cell phone: What time is it where you are? (pause, looking at watch). Oh, yeah, it’s 1:35 here too.  You must be in the same time zone I am!

Cubeland, Downtown MPLS
Overheard by I wish I was half a time zone away from you.

Annoyed lady on cell phone in bathroom stall: Mmm hmmm, uh huh, mmm hmm, yep… oh before that, can you tell her to lick my ass, too?

Government Center
Overheard by I hope she’s not talking about me.

Male stoner boarding bus full of professional commuters: Is this the bus to downtown?
His female companion: Yes.
Male: Express bus to down-tiz-own! (20 minutes later) Where are we? Are we in downtown Minneapolis?
Female: Yes.
Male (uncertainly): It looks like it…
Female: Yes.
Male: We are in downtown Minneapolis?
Female: Ask the bus driver!
Male: Yeah, we’re in downtown.  So, where are we supposed to go?
Female: I dunno!

Express bus to down-tiz-own
Overheard by Careswen.

Cube dweller to cube neighbor: You’re like Mr. Rogers because you wear a lot of cardigans. And because you’re my neighbor.

Downtown office
Overheard by JfA.

Woman talking to new mother: What a cute baby!  It’s a blessing to be around babies, it surely is.  They so peaceful.  It’s a blessing from Jesus Christ.
Mother: (inaudible)
Woman: He got a Biblical name! (does a little dance)  …Jacob, Abraham, Isaac!  You go, Abraham, and rewrite the Constitution, because they didn’t include nothing about blacks.  Don’t understand why we gotta come to court no how.  They gotta drag us in here against our will.  Guess they couldn’t keep hanging us.  Couldn’t keep raping our daughters.  Now they press charges against the blacks for every little thing.  Always arresting us, letting us go, arresting us again.  Always bringing us to court, letting us go, bringing us back in to court.  I know a guy who’s in jail over a little $15 check.  I hate ‘em all.  I hate lying, deceiving, perpetrating. But I don’t hate the truth.  (attending to baby) Oh, he stanky! He stanky!

Government Center, Minneapolis
Overheard by sxoidmal.

Guy #1: You should see what I did. I put up hanging plants.
Guy #2: I don’t care about your plants.
Guy #1: F*ck you. You won’t get invited to the zen garden.

Downtown Minneapolis office building freight elevator
Overheard by Dan.

Man on back of the bus, while passing Tibet rally in downtown: This isn’t Tibet! This is the U.S.!

#16 bus
Overheard by thanks for setting me straight.

Woman teammate trying to figure out other teammate’s sexual orientation: So, I saw you drive up with a guy and some kids.
Other teammate: That was my girlfriend.

In the bathroom at Station 4
Overheard by At least now you know she’s a lesbian.

Loud, obnoxious, pregnant girl in a skirt: I’m not wearing any underwear.
Seemingly-annoyed friend, sarcastically: Aren’t you afraid your baby’s going to fall out or something?

fancy downtown Minneapolis restaurant
Overheard by what NOT to expect when you’re expecting.

Office lady #1 [explaining versions]: It’s hard to compare between the old and new.
Office lady #2: That’s why we do virgins… I mean versions.

Meeting room in downtown St. Paul
Overheard by Fan of Freudian Slips.