Teen girl #1: Shoplifters will be prosecuted?!?!?! Whoa. Doesn’t that mean they kill you!?!?!
Teen girl #2: That’s executed. God, you’re dumb. I’m gonna tell your mom how dumb you are.

Sears Dressing Room, MOA
Overheard by They maybe execute for stupidity, but not shoplifting.

Woman on cell in a dressing room: I’ll be there in 10 minutes, the traffic is horrible right now!

Minneapolis, Opitz
Overheard by Julee B.

Girl #1: He already has a tattoo.
Girl #2: Of what?
Girl #1: Of Groucho Marx. Do you know who that is?
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: Hardly anyone does.

Minneapolis, Downtown Target dressing rooms
Overheard by I got Harpo on my ass.

Woman #1: These dressing rooms are so small, I wonder what fat people do?
Woman #2: They don’t bother trying things on, they just get muumuus. (laughs)
Woman #1: Yeah, they just wrap that elastic around themselves and call it a day. (laughs)
Woman #2: I hope there isn’t an obese person a couple doors down, cause then I’d feel bad.
Woman #1: Ugh, oh my gawwwd, I wear a size 3?!?! I totally wear a 0 at Old Navy.

Minneapolis, Downtown Target, Women’s dressing rooms
Overheard by A.O.

Old Lady: I think this is too tight. (farts) Yep, definitely too tight.

Minnetonka, Macy’s dressing room
Overheard by i’d have to agree.

Girl #1 in dressing room: I just don’t want to clash with his style, you know?
Girl #2 in same dressing room, loudly: What, crackhead?
Fitting room attendant: GIRLS, ONLY ONE PERSON IN A FITTING ROOM AT A TIME.

Mall of America Forever 21
Overheard by Dressing Room #16.

Pious friend: Do you think God is happy with you?
Concerned girl: I don’t know.
Pious friend: Well do you at least fast for [religious observance]?
Concerned girl: [Indiscernible]
Pious friend: You’re a terrible person. I love you, but you’re a terrible person.

Downtown Target dressing room
Overheard by I thought this was a fitting room, not a confessional.

Guy outside of dressing room: Dude, what are you doing?
Guy in dressing room: I’m having some me time.
Guy outside of dressing room: I’m bored. (thinks about it for several seconds) I’ll be looking at belts.
Guy in dressing room: I’ll be looking at me.

Southdale J.C. Penney dressing rooms
Overheard by Business Casual.

Kid with mom in dressing room: Mommy, I see your boobs!

Target, Coon Rapids
Overheard by Another shopper.

Tall blonde girl talking loudly to middle aged coworker: I’m not wearing my glasses for the wedding. Glasses are just so tacky for weddings.

Roseville Target dressing room
Overheard by your face.

Girl to friend at Forever 21: Remember, there is always H&M. We shouldn’t ever settle for less than we deserve.

Dressing rooms at Forever 21 – Mall of America
Overheard by Deserving of $7 Shirts.

Teenage girl #1: Ohhhh, that dress is, like, so cute on you.
Teenage girl #2: I know. But, it’s $108. If it was $100, I’d buy it, but I can’t afford $108.
Teenage girl #1 (a little bit later): Like, I could really go for a mocha right now.

Rosedale Macy dressing rooms
Overheard by I bet you can afford a $4 coffee.

8-year-old girl #1 (tying scarf around her head): We’re going to look like gangstas!
8-year-old girl #2 (also tying scarf around her head): Like what?
8-year-old girl #1: Like gangstas!
8-year-old girl #2: What’s a gangsta?
8-year-old girl #1: It’s a gangster.
8-year-old girl #2: Oh.
8-year-old girl #1: Like The Jets.
8-year-old girl #2: (suddenly understanding) Oh, okay!

Dressing room at a dance show
Overheard by I think they paid a little TOO much attention to West Side Story.